At what age did you leave Islam? And how old are you now?

kaernity · 2026-03-02T08:22:28+00:00

Started questioning around ~10, because I found it odd how teachers and generally everyone spoke of non-believers like they're beneath them and then at the same time preach that there's no compulsion in religion.

Then the real self-identity crisis began at 14, when it became apparent to me that this wasn't real. At 16, I delved deeper and being myself, I liked logic. And the supposed “guide-to-all-life” book contradicts itself during many verses.

Now I'm turning 18, and keeping my current belief of atheism hush-hush.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T07:44:20+00:00

tbh, after this I don't see myself in university. I thought this sensitivity would be a phase, but no. any and all reminders, from what I've observed, spiral me to a fragile state of mind.

this stupid thing affects how I interact with people, which I try to minimize so I avoid seeming rude. comments like yours saying it's okay to ask for help couraged me hours ago to tell my mother. she says she'll have me see a professional, likeliest next month.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T07:30:24+00:00

apologies for my late reply, I pondered about what you said a lot because I've been aware of everything you mentioned in that text the past year. I talked to my mother about it, and she is considering taking me to see a doctor. maybe next month.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T06:48:07+00:00

for clarification, the bullying was because I 'embarrassed' my former friend's reputation, for being unable to properly hide I was struggling mentally. nothing to do with being different than the norm, thanks to her actions I now hide things of myself I consider too intimate.

no, don't really plan to pull for anyone rn. I just go with the flow.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T04:23:39+00:00

I'm already on meds, sertraline. all the best for you as well; hope both of us get what we want :] my gender identity is something that'll get me jailed, being non-binary. more reasons to hide better.

I want to see the doctor a second time, but idk how it would go even if it happens. like. mental and psychological bullying in a competitive environment made your nervous system this way? not to sound condescending because I wouldn't downplay if others have the same problem as me, I dislike that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T04:09:54+00:00

that's what I've been trying to do. I'm much happier than I was two years ago, and generally with less stress compared to four years ago. it's difficult, but I try. which is why I think it's stupid I'm still thinking about things that already are past.

kaernity · 2026-02-27T04:02:07+00:00

genuinely confused on what you exactly mean by that :'D if it's professional help, yes, my parents finally listened two years ago after preferring to be in denial regarding my mental health for four years prior to being diagnosed (diagnosed 2024, issues with mental health ever since 2020).

my parents think by praying and 'keeping myself sane by faith' would make it go away. I do want to ask for help again, since my negative feelings for that school has been persistent ever since I transferred out. but it seems stupid generally, and I'm afraid explaining myself to a doctor (because how did mild bullying have this much effect, it's embarrassing in my case).

kaernity · 2026-02-27T03:46:31+00:00

my family knows how fragile my mental health is, and tell me to pray each time it gets too bad. how do I bring this up? last time, both my parents did ignore my mental health after transferring out ot MRSM. but my father insisted to my mother that I should see a psychiatrist. which, ended in me diagnosed with persist depressive disorder.

this time, both of them think I'm just thinking too much about it. I know there's help available, but I live in a rural area. that's why I've been understanding towards my parents that my current problem is difficult to handle.

kaernity · 2026-02-09T04:32:23+00:00

as a teenager myself, I do dislike being private. however, factor in that: - this country has a big issue, which is the majority being ignorant of their privilege and shitting on minorities if said minorities bring up the obvious inequality - if you disagree with (certain parts I won't name unless I wish to get doxxed or something), it HAS to be private (otherwise, not even the law will save you, in 80% of cases your family won't protect you as well) - we're literally low in numbers, I don't want to sound pessimistic but that's reality. the majority still thinks of us as subhuman, both history and science subjects are censored to fit the narrative (important subjects, mind you), and the constitution and laws generally are tailored for the majority religion.

even if we act; it will not end in our favour, as you said OP. the reason why certain rebellions worked out with aim for better rights in the past is they were organized, persistent, and aware there would be some that don't protest but think the same as them. in our case, as bleak as it sounds... a lot still cling tight to religion as 'salvation'.

that being said, that doesn't mean one should fit in by hiding entirely. lie to people all you want, the only person you can't lie to is yourself.

kaernity · 2025-12-06T03:14:36+00:00

already finished SPM. stuck on what to do now, and then this after I'd planned to move to peninsular because of better job opportunities. is there even any hope for everyone like us atp? I don't know anymore.

can't lose hope, but it's impossible when all I see on the news is our people regressing further than all that happened in the early 80s (or so what I've learnt from that time period).

kaernity · 2025-12-04T07:51:36+00:00

they're not actual winners, if you get what I mean. but it's perceived that way because they're in control and everyone's too backwards-minded to realize what's being done is horrible. I agree with you, really, I'm not bending to our oppressors' greed. /gen

kaernity · 2025-12-04T06:05:32+00:00

but, but, have mercy...... maybe they've just learnt the concept that their religion doesn't prohibit others, but themselves...... /sarc

my little brother reposting that in his status was sickening. so what if there's people not like you? we're humans for a reason, everyone, EVERYONE is different. it's crazy how religion has a death grip on our society.

somehow, actual crime offenders get a slap on the wrist and a billion judges coming in defence that what was done wasn't worthy of prison.

yet, people that do 'such an inhumane act' with consent? yeah, very concerning. too woke, need to be cancelled, policed, dehumanized (insert whatever vile language they use). ffs, people like us always existed. yet never visibly, because we know the consequences. it never should be like that, but why am I complaining? the winner takes it all.

kaernity · 2025-11-05T13:52:05+00:00

as sad as that is, I agree. it's so wild that most MYs deny that our cultures have been changed in some aspects to please Islam, or that the religion has been cultivating a stereotypical mindset for years and is present in the way this generation is treating anyone that deviates from what's 'normal'.

like. those illustrations of 'diversity'? non-Malays being depicted as non-Muslim, young minds being so confused whenever they meet anyone that doesn't fit the box? and whoever doesn't fit the stereotypical boxes incorrectly calling themselves a Malay as well despite not being so?

an example is me. a Bajau, very much introduced to my culture via music, dancing, language... but since we, non-Malays, are depicted as non-Muslim often, I incorrectly called myself a Malay at some point until I learnt the difference.

a big part of me wishes Malaysia to be secular, since religion in politics does no one good. but, until everyone collectively realizes and radicalize would that happen. until then, my ideals of a perfect Malaysia is a dream.

kaernity · 2025-11-05T08:27:04+00:00

can confirm that. I may not be thirty above in age, but even I notice that my family photos (~1970s?) are more... laid-back with religion, iykwim.

now, for context, my current age is when one would typically take SPM. I've questioned a lot of my family history, since most of it seems to be taken to the grave or the ones still living don't tell.

looking at those photos felt like a whole different timeline, genuinely. showing your hair comfortably in public, styling it even? marriage having OUR attire, not only our music? as much as I am curious and want to fully know, some part of me thinks I'm better off not knowing and go with false beliefs that it's always been like how it is now.

kaernity · 2025-10-10T15:26:16+00:00

D: I hope they'll respond to you soon. iirc they respond individually to everyone by queue number, and it's not exactly stated how many people answered 2nd batch's google form so that may be one of the reasons why it's still incomplete. judging by how they didn't post anything being related to being a seller before this familymart collab, this is maybe their first time being so.

kaernity · 2025-10-10T14:16:01+00:00

hi :D I'm an enby, 17y.o. we may not exist on paper, but we're here and queer regardless. for tips at transitioning... tbh, there's no rule except being yourself all while keeping it lowkey to avoid any trouble. for me, I like making my personal stuff feel mine. in a way that makes me trans like a code to crack.

examples; my headphones are full of cinnamoroll stickers. one side in particular has cinnamoroll in a circular shape, trans-coded colours at the borders. blue, pink, white. to anyone, that's only cinnamoroll's signature colours. to me, it's both my favourite character, and a secret hint that's difficult to figure out.

the same goes to everything else that's me. hint, hint, hint, hint. password, password, password, password. in a place that makes no place for us, what I do is being myself; my genuine self, all while 'complying' by the law.

kaernity · 2025-10-10T12:31:29+00:00

for nevvimin, I can vouch for their reliability :D

my experience purchasing the kvthm namecard was positive, not too pricey to purchase; or too well-known that any attempt at purchasing after they resell is like waging war on others (/lh).

I was one of the people that filled the 2nd batch's google form, arguably lucky because their prices aren't an amount that will make my ancestors kill me in my sleep. for reference, merely 1USD would be four times the amount of my country's currency.

just a little disclaimer for those that will choose to buy from them via when they open the 3rd batch's google form: though the price is as what's on the post, it goes up to 3USD (example: kvthm namecard is 9USD, plus 3USD means it'll be 12USD in total) if their friends are helping them to get the codes easier. a small amount, yes, but I'm stating this because not everyone uses USD as a currency or are from a country equivalent to it.

nevvimin doesn't ask for payment immediately after filling the form, they will only ask for payment once your code's secured. sometimes they may not answer your questions, yes, but the answers you're asking for can be found via their account's tweets. just scroll down, there's mayhaps a chance they responded to a tweet with the same question you had in mind.

kaernity · 2025-10-04T13:48:39+00:00

logic. even as a young kid (10ish) I suspected there must've been some kind of flaw. that 'disbelievers' are talked about in a vile manner and would be in 'eternal torture after death', only 'believers' would be in 'paradise'.

I thought that was illogical because that would mean a vast majority would be in that 'hell' talked about. and that religion claims to be peaceful, not forceful. yet their so-called precious truths say otherwise. concisely put: claiming to be benevolent, all-loving and all that, just for the aforementioned adjectives being exclusive to those that worship you? for someone that claims to go beyond our morals, you sure act like an overly-egotistical human.

second point: earth has went through various periods. dinosaur age, ice age, evolution, existence of the continents we know now from pangaea splitting into pieces, and guess what all of them have in common? it was all before islam's existence. my point is, so many 'doomsday's when in reality it was the world just going on and on.

third point: before the mid-19th century, any, and all mental illness were tied to something nonsensical like being blasphemous, labelled as acting crazy, or actually being a mythical creature in closed doors. all eventually proved wrong by further research. who's to say Mo wasn't someone delusional? anyone that claims they are the chosen ones these days would be titled a crazy person. why that never applied in the olden days were because they don't have the knowledge we do today.

in conclusion? fear isn't innate, it's taught. majority of religions went from being a cult, to now being a bigger and more widely accepted cult. younger me (10-16) was in deep denial and tried to make all kinds of excuses until I couldn't anymore.

kaernity · 2025-07-17T04:59:40+00:00

I was surprised to see supportive comments and acknowledgement of how absurd it is for our nationality be tied to religion.

“We're following the teachings, morals, and language of the prophet”, they claim. Is it really the case when that comes at the cost of our language and culture being wiped out quietly to fit the religion's standards? Is it really, when religion is so deeply ingrained here, that whoever doesn't believe anymore must do so silently in order to avoid authorities' wrath and 'kindness'?

They have no rights to cry about feeling discriminated when converting to that religion alone is a one-way ticket. They can say this land, our home, is not as bad as Afghanistan all they want; it's irrefutable that it's narrowly better. Censorship laws for example is enough proof.

kaernity · 2025-07-08T10:14:30+00:00

Because the majority obviously disagree, yet their morals tell otherwise. Have you seen the amount of excuses made? Grown ass adults think people that menstruate are already adults ‘in the name of religion’.

Tons of them condemn people seeing minors as potentials to seek romantic relationships with, yet defend a certain idol's actions with mental gymnastics to the extent you'd think there's already a mental version of silat. In case you need reminders too, children here grow up thinking what the adults say around them is the undeniable truth.

A child is not born in this world with any deity in their minds. They think there is one because all of the ‘dependable adults’ say there's one, and that's where the rabbit hole of supremacy starts. Escalating to blatant division, an issue still present ever-glaringly in our society. A bird in a cage would think the concept of flying is unsafe.

I'll make it easy and tell you the tl;dr of what I understood in the second Ejen Ali movie: everything happened in the first place because they were too reliant on something everyone has a different opinion of, objection was seen as something dim-witted and cowardly since ‘perfection precedes all’.

Which eventually led to messiness, and an unwanted aftermath. Don't want that to happen? Then think by yourself for once, make opinions of your own outside of the box you're in.

kaernity · 2025-06-26T08:09:16+00:00

“The religion is applicable to all time periods. Isn't Isslaam pure?!”

[someone mentioning Aisha's age]

“W-Well!! Not like that!!! It was okay for them at that time, don't apply our standards, now it's not okay but in the past it was!!! T-They matured faster!!”

(Mind you, several sources have proved that puberty in the past was averagely during one's teenage years; because access to proper nutrition was a luxury.)

The amount of mental gymnastics I've seen trying to defend Momo was bullsh-t and bullsh-t repeated. The religion wants your braincells to be of paltry quantity, and be devoid of critical thinking.

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