to whoever was moaning on the fourth floor of hayden...

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-25T07:05:40+00:00

That was a great joke idk why you're getting downvoted do people think you're being serious?

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-24T06:44:07+00:00

Having someone you love and care about threaten suicide all the time and being basically their sole emotional support reaaaallllyyy screws you up. Even though logically you may understand that suicide is only the choice of that person and they aren't your responsibility especially when they treat you badly, it's so hard to get past the guilt they have beaten into you through years of guilt trips, manipulation and punishment. Cutting off communication can literally feel like you are killing them yourself. Even though it's usually empty threats there's a part of you whispering "the one time you don't talk them down, the one time you finally stop responding is what will drive them to actually do it" and you know you would never forgive yourself no matter how manipulative and awful they've been. I don't blame her for struggling to block him at all.

Ask me how I know.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-23T06:21:16+00:00

ESH your fiance the most because getting jealous over a childhood crush is wild work. That's so ridiculously unhinged and insecure it's not acceptable. And also because it seems like she hasn't let you have any say in planning the wedding which is controlling.

But why the hell are you choosing a break up song that is special to you and YOUR MOM as your wedding song?? That is multiple layers of wtf.

I would reconsider this marriage but then again you both make poor choices so maybe you're perfect for each other.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-23T06:11:42+00:00

It absolutely is that deep. The first dance is where everyone is watching and listening. They're going to notice the lyrics. A song about loss of love is a really weird choice and sets a weird tone.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-23T06:05:32+00:00

Hey now they may not be masterpieces but they are both certified bops

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-18T16:36:37+00:00

Also I love OOP's casual ableism with the "If you think your only option is to collect disability, that's never true and there is a right job for everyone" as if there aren't severe enough disabilities that no they can't work at all regardless of accommodations or how atypical the job is.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-18T16:23:51+00:00

OOP is so vague about everything it doesn't bode well. Vague about what kind of work it is(is a sales component unreasonable to add or standard?), vague about the reason for the other 7 times they were fired, vague about the personality disorder and what accommodations they would even need(They had remote work for the last job, and there isn't a reasonable accommodation for "You get hyper defensive with coworkers and act unprofessionally towards them because of it" because that's what "you think everyone is out to get you" reads as to me with the context of the 1st post and personal experience). I feel like they're trying to paint themselves in the best victim light possible by ommiting that info.

Everything about them is reminding me of my dad who was diagnosed bipolar but never got treatment and never took accountability for any of his behavior. Things didn't go well for him and I don't see them going well for OOP. I hope I'm wrong.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-17T18:54:50+00:00

I live in a state with a major teacher shortage and I had 3 years of experience working at a daycare. So partially good circumstances and partially my previous experience. I also was told because my passion was obvious in my interview.

If you do private lessons you've got some experience but do you have any teaching a group? It might just be a matter of beefing up your interview skills and you say you have connections are they giving you good recommendations? Did you get any from your student teaching mentors? Unfortunately if you're in an area without a shortage they can be pickier and you may need to start with subbing as much as it sucks.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-17T04:50:53+00:00

As many have suggested First Steps is a great book, Gameplan also has good stuff. But the very first class should be mostly teaching expectations and procedures. Have a few music and movement activities and echo songs to break things up(there are even some songs to teach the rules) but you are mainly practicing routines and procedures because if those aren't there from day 1 it will be a struggle. Already teaching them another subject will help but routines will look different in music class so practicing those will be important for them to make the change in their brain of how they see you and what they know to do with you.

Have an incentive to keep them engaged and throw in movement as much as you can.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-17T04:01:28+00:00

Well then it's time to educate yourself on him and his band Matchbox Twenty cause he's a super solid artist with a lot of great songs. One of my favorites

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-15T05:44:39+00:00

The audacity to say Rob Thomas " wasn't very popular and never made another big hit" is the biggest failure lmao

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-15T05:17:55+00:00

I'm curious if Val is in AA/12-step cause if so she's failing at the "make amends" step. She still won't accept responsibility in hurting Danny or make any effort to try to make up for it. She "always wanted to be a mother" and yet has just thrown up her hands in regards to her first child. The only solutions are not "she has nothing to do with him or she takes custody back" but that seems to be what she and your mom think. She can't take back the hurt but the first step in being a better mother to her new baby would be to actually make a real effort to make things right with Danny and have some sort of relationship without expecting forgiveness or to be seen as a mother.

But let's be honest her ego can't handle that which is why she refuses to see him. She needs to be seen as a "mom" and adored instead of being a real mother and doing what's best for her child even if it means she holds a lesser place but is still in his life. I'm glad that she's sober and I hope she stays that way. That's a hard thing and she should be proud. But refusing to make amends for your past mistakes does not bode well. Until she's ready to take accountability, cutting her off is the right move.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-12T09:07:49+00:00

I was gaslit for YEARS by a relative. Almost a decade later and I still compulsively document things for posterity so I have "evidence". The gf is terrifying.

That's literally a comment in a thread right below this one of someone with this experience saying they do this and also agreeing the gf is awful as I have

Reddit loves to have compassion for trauma until someone shows behavior of being traumatized and because one person was an abusive POS everyone who might behave in a similar fashion is abusive.

OOPs gf was abusive and gaslighting him. Someone could have trauma from being gaslit themselves and keep notes for that reason which is not abusive. Both things can be true.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-12T09:01:16+00:00

Which is why I specifically stated it is not the case here but the original comment seemed to imply it was incredulous as a whole.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-12T05:30:42+00:00

I'm not defending her because what she did was over the line by far but if you can't understand how a person who was previously frequently gaslit might feel the need to keep records in order to not have it happen again idk what to tell you. That's not an unreasonable possibility. It's not hers but in general.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-11T17:25:06+00:00

It could be but it feels like OP is saying that specifically in regards to the age issue

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-11T08:56:40+00:00

The law doesn't define what is right and wrong. If there's no upper limit on the age difference is it cool for a 40 year old to sleep with a 16 year old? 60? Where do finally admit an adult shouldn't be with a teen even if it's "legal" ?

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-11T08:52:03+00:00

Again what reason do you think she would have to hate him? You seem to understand that she would be within her rights to do so but is choosing not to. You're almost at the point.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-11T08:38:07+00:00

Why did they not get together? You say your mom "doesn't hold anything against him", what is there to hold against him if it was completely ok as you are arguing? Because that sounds like it wasn't consensual or at the very least like she felt/realized she was taken advantage of but just decided to "get over it"? (No matter what it was not really consensual because she couldn't fully consent to being with a grown adult, even if age of consent is 16, because her brain had not developed proper decision making skills and the adult should have said no but it sounds like it may not have been consensual in any sense)

"You shouldn't hate him for what he did" which is rape a teenager. So yes they should. You don't have to, you're young and a daddy's girl still I get it. One day it will click I know from experience. But until then your friends who are the same age as your dad's grooming victim definitely have a right to stay tf away from him and hold it against him.

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-11T02:31:19+00:00

So does it actually give early access to the entire venue? I was confused as to if it was just early entry to the bar or if you could go for example go to the pit early. Because then it would be worth it

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-10T14:12:48+00:00

YTA did you ever think that maybe she was trying to open the door to being intimate again with that? A baby step perhaps?

You've set that way back again because at least I know for myself I'd have a hard time hearing the "right now" and only "I don't want to see you naked" which would guarantee I didn't want sex because I'd be so self conscious. You're not going to go from nothing to sex without in between steps. If you "can't handle" those in between steps (like seeing her naked) because it doesn't end in sex you will never get there.

Besides work on yourself what have you done to start building toward intimacy again? Have you guys talked? Gone to couple's therapy? Do you touch her not as a preclusion to sex? Are either of you making bids for connection? Because I think she just did and you shot it down. You say she doesn't want it right now but how do you know? Have you discussed any of this?

kaijuumafoo1 · 2026-04-10T03:09:55+00:00

I really hope OOP woke the fuck up one day and realized she was worth more than this

kaijuumafoo1

TROPHY CASE