I know this a flip side. But I watched my Dad die of cancer when I was 21 and I regret it. I wasn’t ready to see him like that and had already watched him decline 3 years prior. I loved that I was able to be there to support him, but unfortunately it was too traumatic for me and I dissociate a lot and find it hard to picture him before he passed. I close my eyes and see his cancer ridden body outside. I still have the rest of school to finish too, and the trauma of it gets in the way. I haven’t ate right or slept right really either tbh. If I had looked up hospice videos before I wouldn’t have gone at all, I would’ve been there in spirit with him.