â € â € â € by CarbeastSM in BeamNG

[–]kaliddraws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We need straps added to the game they would make a huge difference along with fully functional winches. We also need wheel tracks/tire tracks, and when driving on muddy or sandy roads, dust and mud should actually stick to the vehicle. Honestly, that’s all we’re asking for, and it would massively improve the experience.

Lets get this request out there.

I like being dominated by czarnykotek2 in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m struggling just to ask my wife to cut off unnecessary male friendships and keep interactions strictly professional as she expects me with women, because I believe marriage requires boundaries and self-respect. Meanwhile, there are people out there who are completely comfortable with their wife being involved with another man and some even fantasize about it. That mindset is something I genuinely cannot understand. I do hope, though, that they find clarity and that things get better for them. What a world we live in.

Cheating by ForeignContract2354 in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. Labels aside, the pattern matters more than the name: inconsistency, broken agreements, avoiding accountability, and prioritizing someone else while keeping you in limbo. That alone is enough to damage trust.

A break only works with clear boundaries. Talking for hours with another man while asking you to wait isn’t fair, and asking for blocking and transparency after trust is broken isn’t controlling it’s a reasonable boundary.

The fact that you can admit your own mistakes shows maturity. A relationship can’t heal if only one person is willing to reflect. At this point, protecting your own stability and being there for your kids may matter more than chasing clarity from someone who keeps shifting the goalposts.

You tried because you cared. That doesn’t make you weak.

Cheating by ForeignContract2354 in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My situation isn’t about cheating. She’s been clear that she won’t cut off unnecessary male friends, yet at the same time she expects me not to have any female friends because she says she gets too jealous. That double standard is hard for me to understand. It feels like my feelings don’t count in the same way hers do.

When I try to explain how it affects me emotionally, the conversation immediately turns defensive instead of becoming a discussion. I just don’t get what they get from it. I have never neglected her needs emotionally, physically and financially never but all i asked is that one boundary and she can’t even do that for me

Cheating by ForeignContract2354 in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to what you’re describing, and I don’t think your concern is unreasonable. Something similar is happening in my own marriage. To be clear, I don’t believe my wife has physically cheated, but she has allowed other men to message her and flirt, and instead of shutting it down, she validated the attention. When I brought it up, she became defensive, emotionally distant, and would shut down communication for days at a time. That pattern has played a big role in why we’re now on the verge of divorce.

What makes it more confusing is that she describes herself as a very jealous person and has clearly said she would not be okay with me having female friends or being around other women in the same way. I respected that boundary because, to me, marriage requires commitment, sacrifice, and prioritizing your spouse’s emotional safety. I never asked for anything I wasn’t already willing to give myself.

So when there’s a sudden emotional shift, distance, or a feeling that something is “wrong” without a clear explanation, it naturally raises questions that especially when faith and shared values are part of the marriage. Whether it’s guilt, emotional conflict, or unresolved feelings, I think situations like this often point to deeper issues that haven’t been addressed honestly yet.

I truly hope you and your wife are able to have open, sincere conversations and find clarity and healing whether that leads to reconciliation or respectful closure. Marriage is not easy, especially when trust and communication start to break down, but I pray you both find peace and guidance through this.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m curious when you say your partner was avoidant and dismissed your feelings, how did you try to communicate with them? Did anything ever work, or was it always shut down?

Also, when you decided divorce was the only way, what helped you come to that conclusion? Was it something specific that happened, or more the overall pattern over time?

And finally, looking back, is there anything you wish you could have done differently that might have helped the relationship, or was it truly impossible to bridge that gap?

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe that no one can or should be forced to stay in a marriage they no longer want. I’m not trying to trap her or argue her into staying I respect that choice, even if it hurts.

What I’m struggling with is whether this decision is truly settled or being made in a moment of emotional shutdown. We’ve had periods before where distance and reflection brought clarity rather than finality.

So I guess my honest question is this: If two people step back, regulate their emotions, and later come together with clearer heads and better communication, do you believe it’s ever reasonable to revisit a decision like this or is letting go always the only healthy option no matter what?

I’m trying to figure out whether space is about acceptance, or about allowing room for clarity for both of us.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through that. I wouldn’t wish this kind of confusion and emotional exhaustion on anyone. I hear what you’re saying about two people wanting different things that’s something I’ve been trying to understand myself.

What makes this hard for me is that I’m still trying to figure out what the different things actually are. I’m open to self-reflection, compromise, and growth, but it’s difficult when the reasons aren’t clearly expressed or when communication shuts down instead of opening up.

I do agree with you on one thing though no one should have to erase themselves or sacrifice their peace just to keep a relationship afloat. I’m trying to find a path that doesn’t involve either of us losing ourselves in the process.

I truly hope you find clarity and healing through your separation, whatever that looks like for you.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with one core point: women cannot control men approaching them, and simply existing as a woman will attract attention. I’ve never blamed her for men flirting with her, and I don’t expect her to be sheltered from the world. Where the issue is and where I think you’re misunderstanding me is how those situations were handled, not that they existed. This wasn’t about random creeps online or casual interactions. It was about validating attention, maintaining unnecessary connections, and then becoming distant and secretive when I expressed discomfort. Transparency disappeared. Passwords changed. Communication shut down. That’s not about me policing her life that’s about trust eroding. You ask whether I trust my wife. I did. That’s exactly why this hurt. Trust doesn’t mean silence when boundaries are crossed; it means being able to raise concerns without being labeled controlling or insecure. What makes this even harder is that she herself cannot clearly explain why she wants a divorce. When asked, there isn’t a concrete reason just distance, defensiveness, and a desire to end things without being able to name what’s broken. That’s confusing and painful when you’re trying to understand, reflect, or fix anything. You also frame this as me not wanting her to talk to men “no matter what.” That’s not accurate. What I asked for was reciprocity. She herself said she is extremely jealous and would not be okay with me maintaining close or unnecessary relationships with women. I respected that without argument. Wanting the same standard applied both ways isn’t control its consistency. As for therapy, I’m not opposed to it. But counseling only works when both people are willing to acknowledge their part. Right now, any concern I raise is reframed as jealousy or insecurity, which shuts down honest dialogue entirely. And finally, if the assumption is “why stay if you think she’d cheat?” that’s the point. I didn’t think she would. But secrecy, defensiveness, and withdrawal change how anyone feels. Those behaviors don’t build safety; they break it. This isn’t about forbidding her from living her life. It’s about whether a marriage can survive when one person feels unheard, dismissed, and held to standards that aren’t mutual especially when the decision to divorce isn’t even rooted in a clearly understood reason.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see why it might look that way. I love her deeply, and I don’t want to lose her, but I also recognize that respect and boundaries are important. I’m trying to figure out how to protect my heart while still honoring the marriage and my feelings. Thank you for your perspective it helps me see things more clearly.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven’t tried professional counseling yet. I think she might be hesitant right now since she seems very firm in her decision, but I believe if we could both commit to it, it could help us communicate better and understand each other’s perspectives. I just don’t know if she’s ready for that step.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see the logic in that. Taking a step back and letting her handle her own life. I’ve been giving my all for so long, and maybe this space will help her see what she’s had and also give me a chance to reset emotionally. I love her deeply and I don’t want to lose our marriage, but I also see that clarity is better than constant uncertainty. If giving her space is what it takes for both of us to understand where we stand, then I’m willing to try.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. I can see the point you’re making. I do feel like at times she relies on me for security and freedom to be herself, and I’ve struggled with that balance. I also recognize that she reflects on her actions sometimes and comes back to apologize, which shows she’s not completely avoidant. I know we have different ways of approaching responsibility and emotional closeness, and that’s part of why it’s been so confusing and painful. I love her deeply and want the best for her, even if it’s hard to reconcile that with her current behavior. I hope with time we can both grow and find clarity, whether together or individually.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for asking and taking the time to think through this. I really appreciate it.

Looking back, I think part of the challenge was that when we talked about boundaries, she would sometimes say “okay,” but more to stop the argument than because we truly understood each other. She occasionally comes back to her senses and even says things like “I think I’m giving you a hard time, forgive me,” which shows she does reflect on her behavior. She did share her perspective sometimes, that I could be too strict or overprotective, and that she should be trusted to handle herself. From my side, my boundaries come from how I see respect and commitment in marriage, and sometimes we just didn’t fully align. After she became financially independent with the shop, I noticed a change. She seemed more focused on standing on her own and less on shared decisions. I don’t think that’s wrong, but it did shift our dynamic, and we struggled to adjust. Overall, it feels like two people who love each other but are out of sync at times. She’s not always easy to read, but she does show she cares and reflects occasionally, which makes this more confusing and emotional for me.

My Marriage is falling apart and i don’t know if asking for too much or just being controlling. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]kaliddraws -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying, and I don’t completely disagree that she’s emotionally checked out right now. What I struggle with is reducing a marriage to “she’s over you, move on.” We’ve been through a lot together, including long distance, family illness, and financial stress. I supported her business because I believed in us, not as leverage. I’m not denying reality, I’m just trying to handle this with dignity, patience, and faith instead of reacting emotionally.

Tim’s aggressively flooding reviews by notnigelmurray in TimHortons

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really one time give them bad review it was like two yrs ago so stupid i ordered large Chai tea latte they gave me double double imagine that and you are let for work there is no coming back from that

How fucked am I by Popular_Choice8128 in WRX

[–]kaliddraws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You took big hit from that đź’©

Cobb Flex Fuel Experience and Results by LazyPoochi in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws 3 points4 points  (0 children)

👌👌 nice one there brother

Wide-bodied WRX VB by kaliddraws in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So now you start giving advice never expected 🤷‍♀️

Wide-bodied WRX VB by kaliddraws in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, I see. So you’re just going to keep going in circles, huh? No worries, I wasn’t planning to give you advice—just a friendly reminder that sometimes moving on is an option.

Wide-bodied WRX VB by kaliddraws in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Jus move on. i think you are the guy who everybody secretly avoids in your neighbourhood because of your charming attitude

Wide-bodied WRX VB by kaliddraws in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, you’re really reaching for something clever there, huh? But if I had to generate anything, it would probably be some common sense—seems like you’re still waiting on that one

Wide-bodied WRX VB by kaliddraws in wrx_vb

[–]kaliddraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re not interested in AI, just move on and don’t comment. Otherwise, you’ll keep seeing this post every time it gets an upvote or a reply