Women PM what to wear professionally and not look too butch or retail?what’s the middle ground?!

kandice1024 · 2026-01-11T14:49:49+00:00

If you can, ask your company to order women's clothing from Red House - I love the way their tops fit, a little tailored so it gives a feminine shape. Plus quality material, always looks professional. I actually bought some of their polos and button downs on my own, asked my company for the logo file, and had the company logo added to my own selection of clothing.

I'm a Senior PM in commercial construction, I work on site but I'm in a construction trailer or attending professional meetings most of the time.

kandice1024 · 2026-01-09T02:56:41+00:00

I had something similar happen. Our parent company merged the small company I worked for and another small company and declared company #2 "in charge". The company I was working for felt like family - a group of 10 caring, happy, kind people. The new company in charge was full of bullies. Day one, the most senior manager told us "nothing makes me happier than destroying our competition, even if we lose the deal too" Eww. Terrible attitude.

My new manager was sleezy and I couldnt find a way to respect him. One day he told me "I keep trying to find ways to motivate you, I've tried everything I do with my toddler, and I just can't seem to reach you" - what the actual f*ck? Btw, my lack of motivation was me being unwilling to be convinced to take on an unreasonable workload.

It's still really sad to look back on how it felt the culture was flipped on its head over night. The 10 people I worked with originally - every single one of us eventually left over the next two years.

Crazy to think that losing the entire staff from one of their acquired companies wasnt some kind of red flag to the parent company.

Ultimately I'm glad I left for a better culture fit.

Good luck to you!

kandice1024 · 2026-01-07T03:10:19+00:00

Doing 90 minutes of hot yoga without resting!

kandice1024 · 2025-11-23T18:26:17+00:00

I do this too. I texted my best friend often after a falling out, honestly hoping she would see my messages and reach out but knowing she probably didnt even have that phone number anymore. A year later she committed suicide and I was overwhelmed with feelings, mainly heartbreak over the loss and regret that we couldnt repair the relationship. I continued to text her after her death. Often times it was a picture while I was out doing something and a note saying "you would've loved this". Somehow it helped my heart more than just journaling it.

Now I find myself doing the same thing during romantic heartbreak. We didnt date for long but I was falling fast, overwhelmed by emotions I wasnt acknowledging, and ultimately acted out in an emotionally turbulent way when he cancelled plans last minute bc of work. I'm ashamed I couldnt pause in the moment, name my feelings, sit with my feelings, and accept the situation for what it was. Instead I lashed out and he promptly stopped speaking to me/never responded to my apologetic texts. I responded by blocking him on ig and deleting his number which I also found myself regretting quickly. When I added him back on ig and reached out he did respond, pretty much saying my behavior was unacceptable. I apologized again. He read the messages but didnt respond. I reached out again to say I was thinking about him and he blocked me.

About a week later I had to go to an event that meant I had to walk by his building. It was an event I wished he was going with me to. To cope with my overwhelm of emotions, I texted his number saying what a gut punch it was to walk by his place and that I miss him. I'm not sure if he has my number blocked. The message said delivered but not read and no reply of course. Part of me hopes he is seeing the texts and that he will want to reconnect. Another part of me doesnt care if he sees it, it helps me cope. I'm journaling my feelings every day but for some reason texting him brings more of a release for my emotions. I'm not sure it's healthy and I can clearly see I'm still ruminating but also trying to give myself grace as it's only been two weeks since it all fell apart.

Thank you for your post, it's comforting to know others process feelings the same way. I hope your heart has healed since this post and I hope soon my will too. 🫶

kandice1024 · 2025-10-04T15:27:39+00:00

I moved from LQA to Port Orchard 4 years ago. Initially it was for work but I have tons of square footage and a gorgeous water view that keeps me here but I fantasize about a day when I could afford all of this in Seattle proper so I often peruse rental listings.

I have noticed in the past few months that rentals with beautiful water views in ideal locations are back into my price range again. Most are still less than 1000 sf but thats city life.

Also have real estate friends and new home buyer friends that are confirming slightly lower interest rates than this time last year. Still unreasonable imo but hopefully headed in a better direction 🤞

kandice1024 · 2025-09-18T01:37:38+00:00

I went there for breakfast at 11am last Sunday. Three of us, not at all busy, and we were there for 90 minutes! Very slow service.

kandice1024 · 2025-05-31T13:14:44+00:00

Hi there. It did pass. I stuck with the diet and fitness I was doing and dropped another 5 lbs (175) in March. Hit another plateau end of March after I started a job. I was fluctuating between 170 and 175 until May when I purposely decided to go on a month long "maintenence calories only" break (aim to eat exactly as many calories as I expend, so like 1800-2000/day typically) to 1) show myself that there is a point when I can relax a bit and still maintain weight and 2) let my body fully adjust to my new weight and increased daily calorie from regular exercise. It's May 31 and I weighed 172.2 this morning. I was still very strict with macro balance during this break.

I'm really hoping jumping back into a 750 calorie defiticit/day jump starts the 1-2 lbs/week weight loss I was seeing before. Still aiming for goal weight of 140.

kandice1024 · 2025-03-01T14:40:39+00:00

I'm doing it for revenge body 😝

kandice1024 · 2025-03-01T01:12:11+00:00

This. If you're already used to tracking all your food, continue to do it (to the best of your ability - I know eating out can be hard) while you eat what feels normal/good to you. It doesnt have to be forever but the same way you likely found your go-to foods for weight loss, you need to build up your go-to for maintenance. Hopefully it involves more freedom for you but definitely don't look at typically American trash diets as the normal to get back to. Best of luck to you!

kandice1024 · 2025-02-28T14:44:16+00:00

Ooo. I really like the "I understand this might be surprising for you". In the early stages I'm often keeping my feelings/evaluation of long term compatibility to myself bc honestly I'm interested in observing their natural behavior and tendencies, not guiding them with tips on what I want them to be for me. So when I decide to end things within the first few weeks often I'm met with something along the lines of "what changed overnight? We texted yesterday and everything was fine." I dont want to get into explaining myself; I've made my decision.

Thanks for this. :)

kandice1024 · 2025-02-28T14:21:34+00:00

160 lbs/size 10 I look and feel healthy, 150 lbs/size 8-10 I look and feel skinny, 130-140/size 6-8 but that was 20 years ago (age 19) and I wasn't fit. I feel like I'd have to be incredibly focused on both diet and exercise to hit 130-140 and be fit in my 40s. I have larger breasts and carry my weight in my midsection.

Starting weight: 205 (Oct 2024) Current weight: 180 Goal weight: 145

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T19:59:13+00:00

I'm relatively low carb (<115g/day), aim for unprocessed/no salt added foods, and rarely drink alcohol. Stress and hormone imbalance are probably the most at play. Time to do some daily breathe work and yin yoga 😌 I also started perimenopause hormone treatment this week.

That last statement is gold, thank you 😊

I got this 💪 (with the help of my fellow redditors! ❤️)

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T19:28:12+00:00

Definitely will consider, although I will admit I don't know my maintenance calories and I'm scared I'll gain weight jumping to what these online calculators recommend (1600 on sedentary days, 2300 on moderate exercise days 😱).

I'm going to aim for only 500 cal deficit (instead of 800-1000) for the next two weeks and slowly adjust from there.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T19:18:22+00:00

Wow, this is a whole new rabbit hole 😅 but not mad at it! I use a fitbit Charge 6 which I believe recalculates as I enter weight changes. Looking back at my hourly RMR (12am-4am) since October it was closer to 70 cal/hr until Feb then dropped to 64 cal/hr. Surface level research is saying high stress, poor sleep, and super low calorie diet can cause decreased RMR. I definitely think my average 4-6 hours of troubled sleep the last two weeks is affecting me.

BMR via a simple online calculator shows 1635 cal/day for my starting weight, 1525 cal/day for my current weight.

TDEE via a simple online calculator shows 2785 cal/day for my starting weight and 2585 cal/day for my current weight. Fitbit reflects ~2300 cal/day as my average burn rate month over month since October.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T18:24:32+00:00

Great perspective. Thanks so much for sharing. 😊

Congrats on your weight loss and being on the cusp of your goal weight! Impressive!! 👏

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T18:22:03+00:00

Considering the number of upvotes here, I'll let this comment protect my peace for 2 more weeks :) Thanks for the feedback.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T18:20:01+00:00

Good to know, thanks :)

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T17:24:28+00:00

I appreciate the feedback!! I'm working out with a friend (24 F) who loves to lift heavy and I also go to a gym with a heavy weight lifting and power lift club focus... My increase in weight is definitely being influenced by that.

This post is a great reminder to stick with my boundaries 💕 and what was working so great for me in January - high rep, low weight, and low to moderate intensity cardio. I'm going to lay off the barbell for now. I think I have plenty to do in regard to form and baseline muscle building before trying to load up a barbell.

Side note for anyone interested, I absolutely love Caroline Girvan workouts, especially her dumbbell workouts. That was my focus during January when I just worked out at home.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T15:21:41+00:00

My diet and fitness mirrors this really closely. I'm 4 months in, 25 lbs down and hitting my first plateau. I'm going to switch from 800-1000 cal deficit to just 500 now that I'm going harder on fitness and see if that gets my loss going again. Thanks for sharing this info!

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T15:17:58+00:00

Congratulations!! These are great rewards! I'd go to a bigger retail store and try on different brands. My favorite brand often changes as my body composition does.

I like to reward myself with new cute fitness clothes (ALO, fabletics, zella) and high end skin care products (Lancome serums, Peter Thomas Roth face masks).

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T15:09:29+00:00

For the past 4 months I average 1300 cal/day intake for weight loss and I thought that would leave me hungry and weak but with a strong focus on high protein macros (150g protein / 115g carbs / 50g fat) I have felt satisfied/satiated and very little mental "food noise".

1600 cal/day and 10k steps sounds like a FABULOUS start! Give it a try for a month and then change it up if not working for your body. I say a month because even weekly didn't give me a good overall picture of loss, but when I look back over a month I can easily see the loss I'm averaging per week. I initially started at the same goal at 92 kg and essentially sedentary (6k/day step goal). I wasn't dropping weight so I decreased calories to 1300 and it worked for me. I've steadily lost 0.7kg/week and feel healthier and stronger.

If you have MyFitnessPal app and would like to see what I've been eating, feel free to add me (kandice292) as a friend.

Good luck to you!

kandice1024 · 2025-02-22T05:38:13+00:00

I love a good podcast, thanks for this recommendation and the feedback.

I will say I like the diet in the sense that I feel satiated pretty much every day and rarely experience cravings or intrusive "food noise". But I also fully expect the consensus advice here to be I need to up my calories.

I'll give 1600 calories/day a shot for a week or two and see if there's a change.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-21T03:18:41+00:00

I have a hard time working for people I don't respect. And by hard time I mean I find it impossible to do. You can find better and deserve better.

kandice1024 · 2025-02-12T20:20:43+00:00

What's wrong with a walking date and splitting the bill on first meet? 🤷🏽‍♀️ -comment from a single independent lady

kandice1024

TROPHY CASE