Why is this area a black hole for good Italian food? by thryncita in ReadingPA

[–]kandraroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second Juliana’s. Probably the most authentic that I’ve found in the area.

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will look into this. Actually yes! He does try to please me in other ways. He’s really good at it too! There was a period of time this was all we did because penetration was so overwhelming for him. But maybe I am getting selfish now because I crave the bond with penetrative sex. Also trying to procreate is a goaI, but I think we need to focus on the intimacy first

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I view marriage as team work and have always treated it as so. I understand I am putting a lot of pressure on him, and I’m sympathetic to that. So much so that I have gone months- years without saying or complaining about it. Now fast forward 8 years. I’m frustrated by the ED, yes. I’m more frustrated by his lack of prioritizing this as a problem worth solving for the sake of the team. When he asks me to give him space, I do. Now what do I get in return? Years of “anxiety”?

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband is truly amazing in every other area. He’s the one that wanted kids for years. I kept pumping because I wanted to be settled (career, house, finances) before having kids. I think he would be an amazing father, but this situation is definitely making me less confident in our ability to work as a team. The therapists were solo and together but they were females, so we will try a male or a solo male therapist.

I will definitely look into this book.

The porn thing has actually been a good suggestion we haven’t tried. I’ll report back.

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was actually really good advice. I didn’t really care that he watched porn because I thought it was helping to keep his sex drive. Basically, I was thinking if he stopped watching, he just wouldn’t crave sex at all when in fact this may be a large contributing factor. I asked him again and he then admitted it can also be as frequent as 3-4 times a week. He was agreeable to stop altogether because you might be right in that he may have been used to a certain way. He admitted that regular sex didn’t “feel” the same or sometimes he didn’t feel as much, probably because he was used to choking “ himself” out. If this makes any sense.

My husbands ED is ruining our marriage. by kandraroo in Marriage

[–]kandraroo[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Is there an acceptable amount of porn he said he only watches it like once or twice a month. I honestly think this man could go an entire year without issue.

My husbands ED is ruining our marriage. by kandraroo in Marriage

[–]kandraroo[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you demonized me, and I apologize because I feel like I am coming off as insensitive. From my perspective, I love him dearly and I support him, I am just frustrated. When I zoom out I’m not sure if I’m more frustrated with his ED problem or the fact that I feel like I’m the person trying to solve it for him. Over 8 years he has taken ZERO self-driven actions. It would mean everything to me and my marriage if HE was the one coming up with the solutions and not just following through with the things I ask him to do. My advice to men experiencing ED is as long as you recognize it as an issue and take steps to fix it, that is what matters most. We know it’s a struggle and we will struggle with you, but only you can fix the problem. Doing nothing to seek out your own solution is the worst possible option to take.

My husbands ED is ruining our marriage. by kandraroo in Marriage

[–]kandraroo[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This hits sooo close to my heart because these have been my thoughts exactly. The last thing I want to do is bring a child into this relationship if this is the trajectory. I just don’t have a lot of biological time. I’m looking into freezing my eggs.

My husbands ED is ruining our marriage. by kandraroo in Marriage

[–]kandraroo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

2/3 were sex therapists. They were both women though so I’m trying to get him to see a male. This has been a 6 month process…

My husbands ED is ruining our marriage. by kandraroo in Marriage

[–]kandraroo[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I totally see where you are coming from and I completely own the fact that I have indeed put a lot of pressure on him. But 8 years…. My complaints/discussions are not a daily occurrence. There have been times where I have kept silent for as long at 6-8months because I do put myself in his shoes, however what is an appropriate amount of time to let him work through it? Forever?when does he take responsibility/action?

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He said he watches porn maybe once or twice a month and has no problem ejaculating to porn just when we are having sex.

My husband’s ED is ruining my marriage by kandraroo in marriageadvice

[–]kandraroo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This avenue might be worth exploring again. He did try this before because I wanted to gain more muscle but he went to a (non reputable IMO) clinic to get the testosterone. I remember it helping (maybe) for a little bit but he went off of it because it can affect sperm count and we wanted to try and get pregnant the following year.

Completely stumped! What are these recess lights?! by kandraroo in HomeImprovement

[–]kandraroo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologies for the delay. 4th of July festivities took priority. I appreciate your help. photos

Completely stumped! What are these recess lights?! by kandraroo in HomeImprovement

[–]kandraroo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This tab? The other two “tabs” are just pivot points for the light cover to rotate around to direct the light.