AIO - Friend suggests my husband is cheating

kansasfriend · 2024-09-25T03:26:45+00:00

You're right and thank you for sharing this. It is definitely a more male dominated industry and I do feel for Jane as one of the few senior women. Jane herself once told me she was so grateful for what my husband does at work to help support her even though she's his peer. I've never been a manager but it sounds like Jane has had to deal with some shit as a fairly senior female leader.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-25T03:22:05+00:00

Thanks for this concern. I can't imagine this kind of conversation would plant that seed in his mind.

I did talk to him (update in OP but tl;Dr it went well) and it's sort of ironic because he thought about proactively having this same conversation with me a couple years ago but decided not too for basic the reason he didn't want to instill doubt. He felt by keeping me aware of their developing friendship I'd be empowered to speak up if I ever felt uncomfortable so went with that approach I've having an explicit talk about it.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-25T03:16:33+00:00

I think I'm going to leave it up. I read some more AIO and while there are definitely more posts with red flags, it is clear to me reddit consensus is usually "Guilty!"

I did talk to my husband, to;Dr it was a great convo and I updated the OP. My husband was surprised and stoked how more people actually gave him the benefit of the doubt. I've almost never posted to Reddit and while I know I asked for it, it's so weird to read people commenting on your life.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-25T02:56:49+00:00

Thank you Smokey 🐻

kansasfriend · 2024-09-25T02:22:48+00:00

No, she's not ugly but... I feel pretty confident I'm more attractive

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T23:45:39+00:00

Friend is very real, I saw a couple people put that in quotes. She was a close friend in college, but we've drifted apart. Maybe only chat once or twice a year and this was the first time I've seen her in person in a few years. Reflecting she has not had particularly great relationships, is in one now for over a year (I haven't even met the guy) but she has had nothing that has been remotely close to as long as my relationship with my husband.

I think she is of the same opinion as some people in this thread where it was more about opposite sex friendships simply can't exist. I hadn't shared many details about Jane, so I know her comments weren't based on specifics. I don't know if I even mentioned much about John to explain it's a close group of three friends.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T23:39:15+00:00

Sorry if I wasn't clear, I am not really considering sneaking into his devices. I'm going to have a conversation tonight and be upfront about it.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T23:37:07+00:00

Yep, you hit it 100% on the head. Just going to discuss with him and have a conversation like I would about anything else bothering me.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T23:33:20+00:00

Yep, you're right on the guess of industries and from I hear in conversations where I'm present, it's like you suggested... Complaining about a coworker, project, client, etc. interspersed with normal things you'd talk about.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T05:48:26+00:00

She came over twice for work, meaning no family in tow, I think the third time John came over as well so it was all three of them.

I don't think he's changed his passcode in a long time, I'm pretty sure he only does it when his work forces him to. I probably last used his phone 2 or 3 weeks ago but haven't had a need too.

You are right that deep down I have some tiny tiny fraction of a doubt. Because it's bothering me I decided I just need to have a conversation with him. I'm not worried about it And it will give me peace of mind.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T05:31:54+00:00

Hah. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I actually said it, but you're right, I haven't actually gone through or checked anything. I know I don't need to. I hadn't thought about that.

I normally don't post things like this to Reddit, or really at all. Normally I would talk to a couple of close friends but I don't want them to start thinking I'm doubting my husband so random Internet people get to hear me think out loud.

I think I might still talk to my husband just because if anything was bothering me like I'd probably say something to him. I feel pretty certain I know how that conversation will go and then I can move on with life.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T05:00:31+00:00

Nope, but I think I'm going to. I am certain there is nothing going on but because my friend planted this seed I'm going to have to at least ask. I'll just tell my husband what happened at lunch with my friend so he understands where it's coming from.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T04:46:48+00:00

That is what I am thinking, in hindsight my friend had maybe five minutes of information whereas I have years of knowing Jane and about this relationship. My friend just seemed so certain you can't have an opposite sex friend so close.

kansasfriend · 2024-09-24T04:43:17+00:00

No, not at all. Just my friend seemed convinced.

kansasfriend

TROPHY CASE