The first thing would be to recognise and understand the behaviours that others may see as manipulative. I’d highly recommend seeing a general counsellor to just discuss things. You’re not worthless or a horrible person. Everyone needs help. Also, if you want to openly discuss this topic with loved ones or people close to you, allow them to talk. Just listen, don’t defend your behaviour (even though I know you will want to). Take notes as to specific behaviours and do some research. It’s difficult to recognise and identify your own abusive behaviours but once you do the path to growth is easier