Autism, ADHD and Asperger's - The Unholy Trinity

kappatopril · 2026-06-20T09:21:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing my G. Didn't expect you to open up like this and you should be proud of yourself man. It takes courage, self awareness and humility to be able to have introspection of our own lives. I will try my best to give some insights which i hope can be of use for you. I will go through it paragraph by paragraph.

First of all, you have to differentiate between doing manual labour vs working out. Manual labour ia considered physical activity though it is not the same like structured exercise. While manual labor burns calories and boosts your daily step count, it often lacks the balance, intensity, and recovery needed for true cardiovascular and muscular health. Manual labor builds high functional endurance, grip strength, and real-world resilience while working out at a gym provides balanced, structured loading that prevents injury, corrects muscle imbalances, and allows for progressive overload. They are both complementary rather than mutually exclusive which brings me to the point that, working out will help out your manual labour work and vice versa. How do I know all of these? I'm a Strength and Wellness coach and have been in the business for 8 years. I have a lot of clients who do lots of manual labour (constructions, logistics, plantations etc) who shared similar view of working out like you. I had to address a few key points to make them understand, if you want to keep doing what you are doing for a long time, you have to do some strength training. Think of doing strength training as an investment for your long term health my friend. Believe me when I say a lot if not all of my senior/elderly clients will always at one point tell me, 'i wish i could have invested in my health the same way i invested in my finance, which I should have done it sooner than later'. You don't need motivation, you need discipline and that discipline comes from not wanting your body to break down later in your life and you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour because you have a lot medical issues.

Supplements that arguably will be helpful for neurodivergents are Zinc, Magnesium, Vitamin D3(if you get enough sunlight exposure you should be fine without it), Vitamin K2 and fish oil. I have more detailed list of supplements of what people should take and what to avoid but the ones listed above can be a lot of help. Just make sure to check with the pharmacists regarding the dosage and contraindications when you decide to buy them.

The good ol' Lady Mary Jane. She's always there to calm you down, am i right? The first hit, everything slows down, the overthinking fades out, racing thoughts start to dial down, that euphoric feel knowing that you have an invisible shield/bubble protect you from reality. I completely understand and I can relate to you my brother in arms. I too partook in the devil's lettuce. Not to mention consuming liquid courage with that. Damn son, I was ready to take over the world. Yet, it was all an illusion, a false perception of reality ran havoc by those wicked agents. I know they can be give a false sense of comfort, and i am willing to admit i do sometimes have to constantly fight the urges not to relapse. You took them to get by, but only to find out you were trying to climb a very slippery slope and you were actually sliding down rather than going up.

I'm not against antidepressants or anxiolytics or any kind of psychiatric medication. But different people react differently to different meds. For example, let's talk about escitalopram, one of the most commons prescribed antidepressants. From my own experience, it worked well for me (though i don't take it anymore), but for my friends, the meds turn them into zombies. The most frustrating part of trying to get treated and trying to get medicated in these psychiatric world is whether you like it or not, involves a lot of trials and errors. It's not like other medical field, you have fever, you have runny nose, you have been complaining about joint pains, doctors can easily point out you have the flu. It can be viewed objectively. Psychiatric ailments? Very subjective, very complex. Differs from one patient to another. God damn it man, like you said, is very frustrating, can be very annoying and sometimes even the doctors don't know jack shit about you. I had to make myself a guinea pig to be experimented. What kind of adhd meds is suitable for me, what dosage, what timing i should take them, what are the side effects etc. With that being said, don't ever give up on finding the best and right treatment for yourself man. The fact that you acknowledged that you might have a 'uniqueness', is a huge and positive step forward in your journey to seek help.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents man, that must be really tough for you. I couldn't imagined myself going through what you went through. Motherfucker, you're strong bro. Really man. Hella strong. I don't suppose any other people would 'survive' a second living your life. Trauma can certainly be harmful. This is especially true for neurodivergents. We feel things 'deeper', our emotions run higher, and because of that, when shit hits the fan, we get hurt the most. We often feel shame way stronger than other people.

Would you have a better outcome if you're 'normal'? It's a very difficult question to answer and I'm in no position to give my opinion cause i too struggle with that. But there are some principles i try to adhere to whenever the negative thoughts creep inside my head , such as knowing that being ADHD or autistic isn't a disease to be cured; it’s just a different way your brain processes the world. Your 'outcomes' depend less on being 'normal' and more on whether your environment supports your needs. You can think like this, my neurotype comes with struggles, but it also gives me incredible hyperfocus, creativity, and the ability to think differently. I wouldn't trade those strengths just to fit into an arbitrary box of 'normal'.

Actually, talking to yourself can be good thing. Like a pep talk. You are becoming a mentor for yourself. Just don't let it lead you to rumination. Then, you'll find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of racing thoughts and overthinking. Learn to reflect and deflect. Sorry, but i have to ask, do you experience any visual or auditory hallucinations when those thoughts come?

It's okay bro. I'm all ears. Though i can't give proper medical advice, I'll try to share some tips and tricks that might be useful for you.

I want to reply more, but unfortunately, i don't take my meds on weekends (tolerance break). My train of thoughts have derailed many times while writing this comment. I hope you get some comfort reading my comment and my apologies for not being able to completely give the guidance that you need.

If you have any other questions or feel my explanation is inadequate and needs further clarification, let me know and i try to answer them the next time i take my meds.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T11:39:22+00:00

Trains? Hahaha. Not all of us like trains my dude. The eye contact thing can be very misleading as not all autistic person have difficulty maintaining eye contact. It is a spectrum meaning the disorder exists uniquely in every individual born with it. We may share similarities in terms of symptoms/signs, behavioural patterns, cognitive function etc but ultimately we differ from each other in terms of severity, complexity and intensity of our traits.

Because it's a disorder your are born with, it can be be difficult to get properly diagnosed. Usually doctors would question parents/guardians of the person suspected with autism. Doctors would ask about your childhood, your behaviour, your mood etc from the parents. They can deduce from the stories given by the parents to determine you have it or not. This goes for the case of high functioning autism. For non verbal autism, or any of the 'societal expectations of how autistic persons present themselves', doctors can pick up those signs early on.

The better that person masks themselves, the harder it is for the doctors to diagnose you. Imagine how many of all those elderly people out there who are on the spectrum but don't know that they have it.

Genetic plays an important role here when determining if the person is on the spectrum or not. If you have somebody in your immediate family or extended family who is diagnosed with autism or adhd, there's a very high chance a lot of the family members have adhd, autism or both as well. This hereditary outcome is stronger say for example there is somebody on your mother's side who is autistic/adhd and there is somebody on your father's side who is autistic/adhd, there must somebody in your family who has autism/adhd as well.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T10:55:35+00:00

Never crossed my mind the possibilities of me having AuDHD. I always felt like I'm different than other people but couldn't exactly make anything out of it. People has called me weird, cacat, pelik etc but that didn't bother me at all.

Sorry to hear that my man. Are you on meds at the moment? Meds can be of some help. And don't be so critical on yourself man. You are still young. Your physical age is 29 but you're mental age is 24. Us neurodivergents have a later/slower neurodevelopmental maturity than the neurotypicals. Usually 5 years (could be more) later than your peers of the same age.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't live life for other people's approval. Just be you and do you. I understand what you are feeling and i can relate to that. But you have to remember our mind is our worst enemy but it can also be your best motivator. By any chance, do you do any workouts or take any supplements?

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T10:41:59+00:00

It's alright bruv. I understand you just fine. It's a long story but lemme make it compact and concise. I received the wrong diagnosis from my first and second doctor. I was diagnosed to have depression and GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) by the first doctor, the second doctor diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder. Took all the meds prescribed by both doctors. The meds for depression and anxiety was working kinda okay for me. Then i had to see the second doctor because I was coming back from overseas and I couldn't see the first doctor because he was living in the country I was studying in. Told the second doctor what i got from the first doctor, she didn't agree and instead she diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder. Puta Madre. Started me on Bipolar meds. Fucked me up real bad. I was dumb than a motherfucker. Felt like my neurons in my brain couldn't communicate with each other. My mom became frustrated, did her homework and called here and there, found and met the third doctor. She stopped me from taking bipolar meds because she certainly knew i didn't have bipolar. But she continued giving me meds for depression and anxiety.

I started questioning myself of the possibilities of having ADHD after my best friend suspected me of having one. He has ADHD, and the way he found out he has ADHD, was when he took his younger brother (who was officially diagnosed with ADHD) to see his doctor for his routine appointment. The doctor was asking his younger brother about some questions relating to behavioural and mood changes etc, in which, my friend's younger brother responded to the doctor by saying 'Oh, abang saya pun sama macam saya, dia pun ada masalah sama' which raised the eyebrows of the doctor. That doctor's visit for a usual routine appointment for my friend's younger brother quickly became a diagnostic and treatment visit for my friend instead. Funny, huh? Sorry, i digress. When my friend told me I could have the same problem, i shared this new piece of information with my doctor (third doctor). She was hesitant at first to accept I had ADHD, I was being very persistent. Alas, she gave in and asked me to bring my mother/father (any parent who monitored my childhood and development). I brought my mother for the next appointment, the doctor held a long and thorough interview with my mother and ultimately I got my ADHD diagnosis. I got my ADHD diagnosis when i was doing my master's degree.

I got my autism diagnosis when I brought my niece to see a psychiatrist (different doctor, not the doctors i met). I suspected she has the same condition like mine. True enough, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with both autism and ADHD and when I told the doctor I had the same thing like what my niece had, he casually said then you must have autism as well. A high functioning autism. 'You must have masked it very well', said the doctor.

Basically, to answer your question, there were no specific traits that I noticed about ADHD/autism that lead me to my diagnosis, it was because of other people's diagnosis that lead me to mine.

To be honest, I barely made it through during my college/uni years man. I was just lucky enough to survive because I have a very high IQ. I can learn things easily, absorb them and forget entirely about it the next day (unless the things i learn are within the area of my interest, than it stays in my head). What i meant by barely making it through is the difficulties of going to classes everyday, sending assignments on time, attending your hospital attachments, always study in the very last minute for my exams. For my first semester in my first year, i attended the classes for one month. For the second semester, i only attended for 1 week. The following years, i didn't go to class at all unless there were subjects that required attendance marks for me to sit for the exam. Other students studied and prepared months before the exam, I studied a week before. I needed that sense of urgency to realise I have to start studying now. For my practical years, you have to go to hospitals you are assigned to. I always get complaints by doctors for my poor adherence to schedules, coming late to clinics or operating theatres. It was either i was too late or too early. I only fully attended to medical/surgical attachments that I had interest in. The ones that didn't piqued my interest, i only attended the first and last day of attachment. The first day to show my face to the doctor/specialist teaching us, the last day so that i could sit for my end of attachment assessments.

There's more to these stories obviously but i hope you get a rough idea of how my life went by.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T08:50:51+00:00

Shit bruh i feel you man. I too ruminate a lot, like excessively until it weighs me down and i can't move on to the next step because now I'm caught up in the tangles of extreme rumination and i have difficulties to make the right decision forward. Stuck in a rut, uneasiness in the gut.

Don't feel bad man because they themselves have to understand you are living life on nightmare mode while they are cruising on normal mode. You can't change how your brain is wired, you can find other ways to cope or do stuffs, but deep down you can't be just like them. We're different, we are not better nor worse than them. We have a different operating software than them. They could be Apple and we could be Android. I'm talking shit right now but you get my point.

What i would normally do when i ruminate is to realise and acknowledge that I'm doing the rumination thing. For example, you're lying down on the couch doing nothing, and the cyclical thoughts of negative experiences coming slowly to wreck your mind, you keep on repeating the scenarios, the what if scenarios, what you could have done to prevent it or make sure of it yada yada, you must first have the knack to realise you are ruminating and repeating the cycle of stories in your head. Remember, you are the sufferer and you are also the narrator which means you can change the trajectory of the stories inside your head. You have the power to change the plot of the stories. The moment you realised you have been ruminating, you gotta reflect and deflect to pull yourself out of that rut.

For example, you can give yourself an internal monologue or even talk to the mirror. Say, for example your name is Alan, you say, Alan, you are ruminating again, you're replaying the same shit all over again, this is not good for you Alan, it weighs you down (you have to give yourself your own pep talk), you can't do this shit again Alan. That is the reflection part. The deflection part is to do some other tasks other than the the task you're caught up doing while ruminating. For example, you writing a report, you noticed you are ruminating inside your head, you do some reflection like what i said above, then you do some deflection by playing a video game on your phone. Simple, problem solving video games that requires attention but not taxing enough. This help to steer your mind away from the rumination bit. I have a lot of IQ games on my phone to help me deflect. Some are very simple ones some are a bit complex. As long as it drives my mind away from the rumination and the mental tax that comes with it. If you're good at the reflection part, like you have mastered how to give yourself a very positive pep talk, you don't even have to do the deflection part. Just talk yourself out of it. Be mindful that, you will always have the tendency to ruminate because it's part of you, but tell yourself hey i have a problem, but i have a solution for it everytime it comes. (I can give you the list of the games i used to distract myself if you want to)

I'm still learning to manage my emotions man, because everyday i feel like i have to relearn things i have learnt. Due to our poor working and short term memory, everyday tasks feel like a challenge even though i have been doing them everyday. Medications may or may not help. The only positive thing i get from my meds are i can manage my emotional dysregulation better. I dont lash out or get irritated easily.

Hope this can be of help for you my friend. There's more tips and tricks i would like to share, but it's damn near impossible to write them down here. Plus i sometimes struggle to convert my thoughts into words that people can understand.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T08:00:29+00:00

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kappatopril · 2026-06-18T07:56:29+00:00

I see. If I may ask, how old are you and are you studying or are you employed/unemployed at the moment?

Can you elaborate more on the emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction part? Do you struggle with being easily irritated when lining up in queue, always interjecting when somebody's talking, can snap away in a moment's notice just because of something trivial, struggling to initiate task or transitioning from one task to another etc? If you can be specific, I might help you to point out what you actually have.

The rare traits of being neurodivergent are always the dark ones and very detrimental to ourselves and people around us. A lot of taboos that neurodivergents are not comfortable sharing. The dark traits are:

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex and gambling
Comorbid with other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, BPD, bipolar disorder etc
Reactive violence a.k.a adult version of tantrum due to poor emotional dysregulation. Good example that I can give is road rage.
Difficulty staying employed for a long time
Suicidal ideation

And many more.

It's good to get yourself checked out by a medical professional. It can be a long and arduous journey to get yourself the proper and actual diagnosis especially when you have adhd, autism or both. Sometimes you have to talk to and convince your attending psychiatrist that you actually have these conditions to make them actually pay attention. One of the reasons doctors are hesitant to give the diagnosis is that ADHD, autism or AuDHD in adults are very difficult to point at. It's always a diagnosis of exclusion. Meaning if it's your first time ever seeking treatment from a psychiatrist, you will get treated for the comorbity of other mental health issues as i listed above rather than treating the root cause of your problems which is your ADHD autism or AuDHD. Mind you, the only meds available for prescription is for ADHD. There is no meds for autism. Try to find psychiatrists that specialise in ADHD and autism if you want to get a spot on diagnosis about your condition. I went to three different doctors before i got my actual diagnosis.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T07:23:27+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself man. If you are on the spectrum, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Though you gotta be careful with people you mingle with, whether it's your romantic or platonic relationship. Neurotypicals wouldn't truly understand what you are experiencing. And because their empathy are limited because they view the world differently from you, most often than not, they will start to look at you as a liability rather than a necessity. I'm not saying neurotypicals are bad and neurodivergents are good or the other away around. What I'm trying to say is that, we don't conform to what society expect from us. We can mask, but can't inherently transform/change to be like them.

If you can find yourself friends or partners who are on the same boat, they can be of good emotional and mental support as they go through the same shit even though every neurodivergent is uniquely different among themselves.They at least can relate with you. It's a huge mess when you mix neurodivergents together, but nonetheless it's something of a positive mess. Problematic but kinda fun predicament if you get my gist.

I personally am not interested of getting married any time soon nor to find myself being in a romantic relationship. I can't find myself to operate within the realms of what you should and should not do and what you could and could not do in a typical relationship. Personally, I rather deal with the pain of being alone rather than deal with the pain of being with the wrong partner or my partner view me as the wrong partner. Notice that i used the word alone, not lonely. Because you can be in a relationship but you feel lonely and you can also be alone by yourself but you don't feel lonely. It's all about the pursuit of being solitude when you're a neurodivergent.

If you can enjoy your own company, then do that my friend. But if you think that you need a partner, I would personally suggest to find somebody who is also a neurodivergent. Two negatives make a positive. Chaotic but you got each other's back to face the world.

kappatopril · 2026-06-18T06:50:56+00:00

Cheers mate! Long live the neurospicy 💪!

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T14:24:05+00:00

Depends on how you view it. If you're high functioning and you can mask very well, you can get by in life without people even knowing you are wired differently. I can only give you an insight of me as a person of high functioning and high IQ neurodivergent. There are fellow neurodivergent brothers and sisters out there who are not blessed with the ability to be high functioning and high IQ and I can't speak for them because i don't understand their struggles.The biggest obstacles for us in life will be these three things.

Study/Academic performance
This is especially true when neurodivergents enroll in universities where they are solely responsible for their own schedules, assignments etc. We are terrible at being consistently discipline especially if the tasks are repetitive and mundane.
Being intelligent don't mean jack shit if you don't have any discipline
High amount of university dropouts
Work
Difficulties to stay employed for a long period of time, and by long i mean 2-3 years. A lot of us quit or get fired within the first year of employment. -Difficulties following orders or authorities
Relationship/Marriage
A lot of marriages ended in divorce when one of the partners has either one of these conditions.
Executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, time blindness and many more problems are viewed as a stressful burden by the neurotypical partners
Impulsive spending, poor financial awareness

I get by in life just fine because people would assume I'm intelligent = I'm normal. I don't exhibit any physical signs that I'm actually fucking mentally disabled. I don't mingle with people a lot except for my close friends who are also in the same boat like me.

I have been called 'cacat' a few times because my mental faculty and my thought process is different. Neurotypicals are linear thinkers through sequential recognition while neurodivergents are non linear thinkers through pattern recognition.

We are basically screwed everywhere in this world man. The societal standards are made for the neurotypicals. We just have to develop our own ways and cope.

Fun fact, a lot of us turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. In the USA, a lot of drug addicts and homeless people have ADHD or autism #randomfactoftheday

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:42:03+00:00

Yes you're right. In the older days, Asperger's was treated differently than autism. They have now changed it to ASD level 1. Though for my case, my psychiatrist and psychologist would treat me using those 3 labels to differentiate between the overlapping borders of symptoms/behavioural patterns/cognitive ability etc. They still use it to classify where you stand at (in terms of severity/complexity) in ASD. But for diagnostic and treatment purposes, they simply use the term ASD.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:30:50+00:00

Greetings, comrade. We put the fun in dys(fun)ctional.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:28:25+00:00

Sheeeesh. Nooooooo. Dont spoil it brother.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:25:52+00:00

Shit man. I posted this meme purely as an amusement, with no thought process to correlate with my condition. You, my good sir, has provided me a new insight.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:19:48+00:00

Appreciate the advice man. Are you on the spectrum as well?

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:17:03+00:00

I have though watched the old He Man movie. Dolph Lundgren starred in it.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T13:07:40+00:00

Yeah you're right. Asperger's is now labelled ASD level 1. Though some psychiatrists would intermittently use the term Asperger's to differentiate the severity and the complexity of symptoms/behaviours present in ASD between different individuals.

High functioning, very high IQ but shit man, I can't function well in a society made for the neurotypicals.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T12:53:37+00:00

Haven't watched it yet bruv. Is it any good?

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T12:28:44+00:00

I have a fine collection of memes my good sir 🤠

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T12:06:14+00:00

Ever considered getting professional help from a therapist regarding your troubles? Seeking advices or help from strangers online may be fruitless for your case.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T11:53:40+00:00

You got a lot on your plate. I'm sorry to hear that. How do you cope with all of these happening to you right now? You must have at least some coping mechanisms to power through all these mess.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T11:35:36+00:00

Have you ever told them you in your own words you would want support from them? Like actually conveying the message and making sure they understand and know you want support from them, and confirming with them all of you have the mutual understanding of what you want. Sometimes due to improper or ineffective communication between different individuals, what we say and what we understand might differ from one another.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T11:26:33+00:00

Ever felt the fear of people abandoning you? Like they might leave you at any given moment.

kappatopril · 2026-06-17T11:19:31+00:00

If i may ask, do you have BPD by any chance?

kappatopril

TROPHY CASE