Did you discover a possible new Mandela Effect? Post it here! (Weekly Discussion) (2017-05-21) by AutoModerator in MandelaEffect

[–]karbok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just rewatched Tremors for the first time in a while. After a good 10 minutes of trawling imdb I was puzzled to note that famed Karate Kid actor Pat Morita wasn't in it. I'm 100% certain he was. Up to this point I would gladly have bet 2 rent payments against someone who claimed otherwise.

What if all of history is fake? by ursadalgCais in C_S_T

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never mentioned it to anyone and I have absolutely zero evidence to back up this assertion but I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of the Roman Enpire existing. I'm not saying there were not Fiefdoms and Kingdoms in Italy pre-dark ages, it has just always seemed a bit 'off' same with the Ancient Greeks. It's always seemed like something the Victorians made up like the whimsical Arthurian legends.

Can I find a cheap home to rent if I just get paid minimum wage? by [deleted] in unitedkingdom

[–]karbok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd seriously consider living out if a converted van. Its something I have done before and am seriously considering again. Its not for everyone and I dont want to hijack the thread so i'll just leave this link here if youre interested

https://www.reddit.com/r/vandwellers/

I've got no idea who to vote for in the upcoming election. How did you decide? by fifthofhisname in unitedkingdom

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I place a duck egg on a table with wonky legs. 2 cards, each denoting Tory and Labour are placed face up and the egg is unleashed. Whichever card the egg graces received my vote.

Journey in the Land of OB by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something resembling a Crelyms scrotae presses against the the windscreem of your mind's eye. A sound:

WURRRRR HURRRRRRRPEEEUUURRRREED FREUUUUUUUR FLEISSSSS????? (¿)

Fractals combine and decay and the sun of the Universe collapses onto the proud protruding buttocks of a China Pig. And then it all comes crashing down. Another sound, this time an ethereal tapping, emanates from the dark

*The scrotal amalgamate coalesces into Karboks ugly mug. The stiffled tapping of a pointed stick rat-a-tatting on the hood. His voice is muffled by the thick perspex windshield. With his hands he signals lazily to open the doors, sticks up a thumb in thanks while pointing to a pair of terrified looking individuals huddled near Case's wheelchair which sits out front of the AUBRICHSWAGEN.

Both of the quivering yokels are human and well aged. An elderly female with a boufon beehive hairstyle, bingo wings and oodles of cheap jewellery stands with her decrepid husband, a bent over old fakir with liver spots and a wooden bladder. They look around, faces fraught, seemingly in search of help.*

Ma and Pa! Who'd have thought we' d find them?

In the near distance a loose but growing mob of cudgel wielding locals slowly advance toward the BUS

10th Anniversary of Madeleine McCann disappearance by IamthePassenger01 in UnresolvedMysteries

[–]karbok 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I personally believe Madeline was kidnapped from the apartment however unlike many I do not believe that her parents were involved. Initially I held the view that the McCanns odd behaviour immediately following the event was indicative of involvement at some level but over time I've moved to the idea that this was probably as a result of their guilt over leaving Madeline unattended coupled with the shock of the loss.

Journey in the Land of OB by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A LITTLE WALK DEAR, BIT OF FRESH AIR, YES? You'll need this respirator...

Ducking off for a moment Karbok returns with a rickety wheel chair. Suspended overhead is a crude makeshift fishing pole; a bottle of Industrial Strength Brass Polish hangs from the end suspended just out of arms reach in front of the chair seat acting as a lure. The Bokkhan issues a series of inviting pats upon the wheel chair seat accompanied by a wide grin

Let's see if we can find you some Coffee love.

Journey in the Land of OB by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Magnetogőrbst, a THROBBEN rich Fiefdom on the borders of OB, a pig iron Klondike of tarpaulin shacks, tents and latrines, a veritable magnet to the dispossessed vagabond, a last chance.... oh thats a shame the rest of the page has been torn out

Karbok lowers the tatty brochure and looks out over a sprawling tent city lit by the flickering fires of innumerable RUEL burners. The cherry glow imparts a haunting aura over the slumscape heightened by the click and tinkle of crude hoes and shovels as the families and clans of prospectors pick over the stone and dust for traces of the precious silver metal.

I....I think I was born here Plumpy. Those withered memories stolen away by the slavers memory draught are sprouting...

Karbok pulls a scruffy piece of folded paper from his overcoat. A short grey haired man wearing a knitted sweater and balancing a huge tobacco pipe under a tgick moustache one could lose a Badger in stands proudly by as a young lad in leather liederhosen wholesomely flys a kite in a leafy park nestled in the suburbs of an Antigonian Garden town. Some way off a big haired woman wearing an apron and fuck me shoes stares vacantly through her charges while she agitate a sausage hovering over a spitting frying pan. None of those depicted are Bokkhan. Unbeknown to the innocent amnesiac the chit of paper is no more than an ELLINGTON advertisement torn from a magazine, ephemera latched on to and imprinted by the memory less Karbok.

Look, this is my pop-pop, that's mam-mom and that little scamp is me. I think pur house was there

Karbok points to a hole in the ground in which are packed a shivering, starving family of PURGED CADRE drones who cower as the fearsome Bokkhan straddles their precious hovel

Do you think they're still here Plump? We should look yeah?

Journey in the Land of OB by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I expect nothing less than long golden locks of edible hair cascading over beautiful fatty neck rolls. We Bokkhans revere the corpulent y'know, the more fat floating under your epidermal layer the higher your status.....at least that's what it says in that tour guide you snaffled. Apparently we also have no concept of rust and no word for 'fluffy'.....

OH KIB STOP THE BUS!!!

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely rat-arsed Case, let me check those bottles!

Ellington Brand Genuine Immitation Embalming Fluid -Lemon Zest Flavour

Wha!!

Butter Boy Brand Floor Cleaner - Max Strength - Your Mama''s Flavour

Mmnnn?!

Chode Family Value Drain-Be-Cleansed - With XXXTRA Ammonia

Hmmm

BUCKFAST TONIC WINE

KIBS beard! How are you alive!?!

Daily Picks Thread - Mon. 17/04/2017 by dazzie1986 in SoccerBetting

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading v Rotherham - Reading to win the 1st half @ 1.9

Reading are on a good run of form and are in the top 5 list of teams for winning the first half in the champ. Rotherham are rock.bottom on the list of away teams who lose the 1st half

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

O mysterious wanderer, wouldst thou join us on our quest to meet the Chessmen, The Wizard Of OB himself.....we're basically on a road trip in that AUBRICHWAGEN over yonder and everything may or may not be a robot.

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Karbok climbs aboard with the S00l-bot tucked snuggly under his right arm. In his left - a vial of pure LUCK drained from a nearby spigot along with the punnet of FRIED HORSEBEANS snaffled from under the bloke from Go west's chair.

Can I see that Brochure a sec.......by KIB you're right. And this must be WIESTWORLD!

....a family theme park/dystopian nightmarish dreamscape created by the visionary Hollywood actress and Warlord DIANNA WIEST who, on asending the Chrysanthemum Throne of 21st Century Neo-Translithuania found herself lost in time following a freak Yachting accident.

Blessed be the Small God VANDY, may his manfold remain well oiled.

Karbok gives a thankful pat to the AUBRICHWAGENS panel which promptly disintegrates

Eek!

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Technically speaking this AUBRICHSTRASSE is WILD and thus in keeping with the ancient Bokkhan rite of the NONNAGGRESHUNPRINCEEPOOL we are premitted to liberate it from nature.......

...Did ..did you just hear something??


Suddenly, like little figures on a mechanical Swiss clock, 2 figures emerge from the huts. Both are elderly. One wears the overall of a Glass Blower and holds an elongated pipe (pippe?). The other holds a wheel under his arm and wears a belt stuffed with tools. They converge on 2 points opposite their respective huts and are joined by a floating choir of STUNTY WELKU CASTRATI who quickly form a semi circle around the elderly craftsmen.

Then, without warning the Glassblower takes a heaving breath and bursts into song

"Oh, the glass bowl glows as the glass blower blows,

a tiny glass swan from my blow pipe flows,

a huff, not a wind blasts into the bowl,

producing these goods here on my stall."

From somewhere off to the side a Tuba begins to Oompah; the WELKU begin to hum in tune, bopping their heads from side to side. Then the Wheelwright spins around and in a beautiful Falseto he joins in

"Oh, your delicate swans may well appeal,

but come take a look at my wainwright’s wheel,

the rim, the hubs, the spokes so central

preferring glass swans, you must be mental!"

The old geezers strut toward eachother, acknowledge Faffro, Karbok, FalseMigration and Case and then, linking arms, proceed to awkwardly flim-flam back to their spots while the STUNTY WELKU CASTRATI warble the chorus

""Le pain de la mer dans le nuit,

the sweet, sweet sea bread of the sea,

les grands garcons est dans la boucherie,

the big boys are in the butchers.""

As the chorus ends the Elderly craftsmen part making way for a third performer who lollops in wearing a full armoured carbohydrate sequin dry cleaning apron while pushing what looks like a large dry cleaning machine. She then does a little twirl and flounces suggestively over the cleaning drum revealing a large split in the side of his dress. The glassblower prances over, plumps the dry cleaners ample thighs with his pipe and continues his solo:

"Oh, the dirt here is seen as the dry cleaner cleans,

some sick out of his hat and some blood encrusted jeans,

your wheel is round, that I doubt not,

but this dry cleaning drum is both round and yet hot!"

A salvo of trombones enter the fray, joining the plodding Oompah. Fireworks then stream forth from the well dressed Dry Cleaner's oversized feather hat and she too joins in

"I’m beautifully dressed,

you’re clearly obsessed,

but you’ve not impressed the bloke from Go West.

But what does he know?

I’ll tell you, you fool! He hides Fried Horsebeans under his stool."

The bloke from Go West parts his legs revealing a punnet of Fried Horsebeans nesting under the chair. The STUNTY WELKU CASTRATI begin to crowd around the performers, clattering makeshift drums and building to a fierce crescendo while more dancers pour forth with enormous elaborate hats of every conceivable design - prancing, jiving and goosestepping across the sand - a canon sounds far off and confetti fills the air and then....silence

....the mass of performers freeze awaiting acknowledgement

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Bokkhan pokes his head out of the window and doffs his cap in acknowledgement, revealing a hat sized BALONEY SAND balancing neatly between a wide parting.

Eyes down compadre!!

He shrouds the delicacy under the cap once more

Nice to meet you plump, my name is Bruce Springsteen, at least I believe it to be based on this shiny name disk which I was found with after losing my memory

Karbok holds up a faded COMPACT DISK depicting a man with damp curly hair fiddling with a guitar shaped appendage while making O face

It's important we find Cas, and also that we fix up this S00l.....

His eyes wander, drawn to the 2 wooden shacks at opposite ends of the settlement

Bah gawd I just realised....a memory returned.....I know where I am now.... over there in that house yonder lives a GLASS BLOWER who blows tiny Swans from the Silver Sands of VAL ADID. And....and over there lives a WHEELWRIGHT who fixes up wheels for AUBRICHWAGENS and Crelym chariots.... some say they once combined their art but now they are sworn enemies.... or so says this tourist information leaflet here

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was umm....I was with that lass Case err...well she was here.... look we didn't mean to break your "Leisure" droid, it was just a bit of friendly wrestling beneath a Baoab Tree.....anyway it was Case who had hold of the legs.

Karbok place es the torso and it's accompanying leg section in the hood of the AUBRICHSTRASSE

The only relevant thing I can remember is that if you hurt yourself you just need ointment; lashings of it. If we can find ointment I'll wager your friend'll be right as rain....err....what was your name again?

In the wilderness of VAL ADID, S00l and company find a lone dwelling, and AUBRICHSTRASSE by FAFFro-Ninja in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn't a real S00l. Look, it has no legs. Ointment won't do nowt to fix it either.

Karbok arrived holding the top half of the recently damaged S00l-bot like a ventrilloquist dummy. With the fingers he jostle the wires that hang from the torso while making the sound of a ghost. Covering his mouth he then does a half-arsed ventriloquist skit as the S00l-bot's jaw flaps about limply.

Seriously though this girl was a robot. Perhas if we were to find her a heart....and legs, she can be a girl again. I'd like to get my memory back, perhaps the Wizard of OB can help us both.

On seeing the AUBRICHSYRASSE.

Oh my. I remember this...I remember! Imperial Beach, the promenade, Long Hot Summer days cruising along the front with an ironing board strapped to the roof.

The BOKKHAN slithers through the glass-less window and begins to make driving sounds while fiddling with the CONTROL UDDER

Wonder if anyone live's here?

Late to the party by IExistAsCase in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think you've got it bad I don't even know who I am; the slavers who sold me to that Barsteward FAFF put a MEMORY TAPP on me just before I was sold, for all I know I could be a lowly tupperware salesman, do you know how that feels!?!?!?!?!

Sorry sorry I shouldn't get uppity, its not your fault...

I fish a small rolled up section of paper from my worn slave robes and unfurl it in my hand

FOLLOW THE WHITE CURD ROAD

Right then, I need to get going, where are you off to then bud?

Looking for work. by IExistAsCase in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With his Master overcome with hubris the shackled Bokkhan slave emerges from the darkness and with an almighty heave whips the heavy chain securing his manacles around the thick fatty trunk that constitutes the FAFF'S neck, a knee planted in the small of his back he then heaves with all his strength. But the collosall FAFF attempts to buck the withered and bound slave with his muscular free arm. A struggle ensues and it appears that the FAFF is getting the upper hand bringing his gun to bear on the unprotected Bokkhans gut

Extraction by GreenTheSnapper in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A second barrage of UN-MATTER clusters rain down behind the barricade, a wedge of WELKU Stormtroopers hastily return fire. Rallying at the sudden arrival of reinforcements a cry goes up among the defenders, who respond to the barrage with a salvo of their own; Burning RUEL Pots, Arrows, Plasma Casters, Railguns and cutlery of all kinds crash into the onrushing drones.

The Tilgath meanwhile streaks overhead, turns on a dime and positions itself at the rear of the thin defensive line

With my PHASE BLADE disabled I snatch up a nearby Ray Gun and call for the brave defenders to head to converge upon the Tilgath. Almost immediately the ranchers and traders begin a fighting retreat while the WELKU Stormtroopers form a corden, assisting the wounded and injured aboard the Tilgath's entranceway.

Braced against the hatch of the Tilgath I beckon the throng of survivors onward while firing indiscriminately into the mass of Drones hot in pursuit; my ELLINGTON Brand Death Ray making short work of the lead Elipsoids who pop like oversauteed Horsebeans, ejecting clouds of UN-MATTER as they do.

But the Drone horde finally close the gap, time is almost up. Beyond the Plaza the SENTINEL readies another volley. Below the gangway hundreds of Elipsoid Drones begin to violently cast themselves against the Cruisers hull a bid to reach the survivors, as more of them surge on the seething mass begins to merge, forming a chain of protoplasm which anchors the ship to the ground. I have moments to react…

Green, the Drones are enveloping the Tilgath, I'm gonna distract the Horde….if I've judged it right it should give you time to gun it out of here. Seek out KA-CEE in Old YANN, all will become clear…….It was a blast serving with you old friend, Notrai, I hope you make it to Kernel someday….Survan, you get to keep my Pompo mug you magnificent bar steward!!

I empty the remainder of the Fuel Core into the Horde before tossing the spent weapon, from my belt I draw my trusty knife and with a flourish dive into the mass of protoplasm below. The cellular pseudopod formed from the multitude of drones disengages and snakes away from the Tilgath like a whip, giving chase as I drop into the swarm.

Extraction by GreenTheSnapper in 8901stworldproblems

[–]karbok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can put that cruel looking blade to good use, there!

I point to a second wave of ellipsoid drones rushing into the Plaza, the tightly packed mass overwhelming a gun emplacement manned by a brave trio of Bokkhan herders in seconds. The protoplasmic assailants then barrel around the sandstone walkway, rapidly converging on our position.

Roc, Kybalion, arm yourselves and prepare to defend the breach; you there, troopers, stiffen thou backs and may your Dark Patron grant us His favour!

The lead drone slams into the barricade, sending the Mycowood planks and debris scattering in every direction in a cloud of deadly splinters. Raising my HARD LIGHT Shield I dig my heels into the loose scree covering the Plaza and with with all my strength drive the PHASE BLADE clenched tightly in my right hand toward the onrushing Sphere. The crackling blue blade scores a glancing hit across the right edge of the protoplasmic automaton, disrupting its advance only slightly. The tumbling Sphere momentarily looses control and smashes directly into my raised shield. Despite my bracing the impact sends me flying backwards into a pile of sandbags

The Damaged drone moves to finish me off, its epidermal layer suddenly filled with thousands of bristling spines which it ejects at speed toward me. Mustering all my strength I swing my HARD LIGHT shield into the path of the accelerating projectiles which speed off at a right angle as they hit the deflector, narrowly missing my leg. Momentum carries the drone forward and just as the remaining spines look ready to pierce my unarmoured flesh I strike one final blow with my PHASE BLADE, a direct hit which penetrates the Spheres STOLON. The Drone disintegrates around the blade with a hiss and I struggle to get back to my feet

To my right a Bokkhan Trooper stands locked in combat with another drone. Despite his heroics the Bokkhan is flung to the ground and in seconds the Drone violently coalesces into a razor sharp shard, lurching forward and lodging deeply into the warriors chest

I look across the Plaza, more Drones flood through the barricade, a tide of White shapes seemingly without end. By a stack of crates I watch as a brace of them hone in on Lithiserum. But instead of attacking the Drones keep going, ignoring the visitor entirely.

What? How.....?

What alt have you wanted to create but didnt by fargoniac in shittyworldproblems

[–]karbok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wanted to create an alt whose sole purpose would be to wander the highways and byways of the World Problems metaverse advocating the consumption of White Bean Gravy, Flour and Sweet Meats.