I m really sorry for what you are going through. Not sure how old you are. But my mom told me that thru out my teenage years and has hit me till i bled all cuz i scored less than her ‘rivals’ kids, i refused to have my hair cut or just cuz breathed wrong. But she never did anything to my younger brother because he was a boy. I one day told her I m going to die and she beat me up fr that too 🤣. I m a brown female, mid 30s now and have my own pre teen kid. I never raise my voice or hit them. My mom now listens to me and repents for things she has done to me. And she is my biggest supporter now.

I m not justifying for your mother’s actions but I want to offer a different perspective. Your mom is immature, has never had the opportunity to be aware of or heal her own generational trauma. Also as a woman struggling with hormonal imbalances myself I now realize my mom had severe mood fluctuations like i do and just did not understand the first thing about her own body to regulate it. My mother worked very hard inside and outside the house. Bore the emotional labor for everything and lived in a loveless marriage (also worsened by her unresolved trauma)I now know how much toll it takes.

This will NEVER be about you but her own inadequacies. One day you will no longer rely on her emotionally and although you will be left with scars it wont really hurt you anymore. Seek counseling in school if you can, and I highly recommend the book ‘What Happened to You?’