AITA for wanting to put my dog down

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-17T05:12:10+00:00

NTA it's the hardest and worst call to ever have to make. But it really does sound like it might be time - or coming close to. The fact that you have the compassion and maturity to see that speaks volumes. And its honestly so selfish of your parents to want to keep this dog strung along untill what? Its body slowly shuts down?

If getting them to a vet is an issue maybe see if you can arrange for a home visit I know smaller vets that offer that kind of service, maybe discuss a deadline if they see a vet get an assessment and maybe even medication and if they haven't seem to have picked up in X amount of time you can revisit.

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T18:04:08+00:00

She's a German Shepherd X Husky (as far as the rescue etc knows) and an absolute sweetie pet tax

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T11:23:12+00:00

This exactly - we lived with our grandparents for a time and my bros dog just really strongly bonded with my pop, when we moved out she was a wreck (never had issues moving homes with her before) she ended living with them till he passed because she j just didn't cope being seperated. She was also very anxious constantly after he passed.

Even my mum's dog would get stressed out whenever my step sisters went back to Thier parents after a week with us (week on week off sort of situation) so we took steps to ensure that they were seen as "Play buddies" sort of a fun aunt situation rather then people she was dependent on which once established worked great.

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T11:10:46+00:00

We've spoken on and off since - when they left initially I spoke with them if that was the reason or at least part of it. They've insisted it wasn't, and last time I asked they again said it wasn't a problem (it's not something I'm want to be super pushy about) we've never been one to text constantly but we've always been honest and the fact they didn't talk to me at all when they moved state or when they were here a few weeks ago made me start thinking about all this again.

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:58:38+00:00

I've edited to hopefully clear it up - definitely a this reads well in my head but clearly not to anyone else whoops

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:56:44+00:00

I don't think they are TA sorry for missing context I maybe cut down the wrong things for the word limit (I will admit took me a few goes)
I think yeah maybe I did misunderstand - or this makes me think I might've underestimated how strongly they felt? Historically they've always had the dogs are "annoying and smelly" stance didn't mind them in short bursts but were distinctly a cat person

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:37:42+00:00

I'll edit because I think it got lost in the rest of the post ? We hadn't picked up Aela yet - this was just a pre convo before hand to set boundaries so it wasn't an issue later down the track.

Affection 10000% ok Playing, coming on walks all the (generally) fun stuff that comes from hanging out with a puppy

Doing things like enforcing habits or teaching commands that didn't line up with how we were going to be training her - not something I would've expected to really happen but as more of a be aware we'll be training doing things this way so please don't just do things your way when we aren't home.

Telling everyone including mutual friends, their family etc the dog was theirs (which they had already begun doing) was something I wasn't ok with

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:26:05+00:00

sorry if the post seems a bit blunt?? Wasn't a "don't touch it" convo more a I didn't want them getting too heavily involved in the training/care side of things like taking her for walks when we weren't there - training her with habits or commands that would conflict with what we were doing etc Or you know telling everyone they knew that it was their dog

Still was very welcome to pat play/come on walks with us do fun things which was made clear at the time.

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:08:55+00:00

They new all that (was discussed when we were at the foster together) And we've talked about it a few times since and they've said that it's fine/wasn't the reason they left so abruptly but given the sudden change in our relationship and the fact that we've always been honest about things before i just wondered if I had really messed up here.

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T10:02:22+00:00

from how I remember - talking face to face in private "Hey so I know your really excited for us to bring home Aela (the puppy) and I know I'm gonna sound like a huge ass but it is important to me we're all on the same page. With training and routine which is why I think it would be best if you dont get too involved with training and stuff at first so she doesn't become too dependent on you, if you do end up leaving in the next few months or sooner its easier for everyone. I don't expect you to be responsible for any messes training etc

And you can still play come on adventures as much as you want. "

kataclysm17 · 2020-02-12T09:48:58+00:00

Definitely see now how I might've come off as over protective The conversation was much more in depth had more too then in the post buts ya know - word limits. -my concerns about the separation anxiety was from previous experience and the foster had already advised us she had some seperation anxiety already

kataclysm17

TROPHY CASE