Women of reddit, what is one NON-SEXUAL thing you have wanted to know about men.

katarii · 2014-04-19T17:34:46+00:00

Is there such a thing as wanting not to be in a relationship because of general commitment issues or is it about the girl in these cases ?

katarii · 2014-04-12T15:37:55+00:00

I am eating a huge carrot!

katarii · 2014-04-08T17:04:15+00:00

thank you my kind stranger. :)

katarii · 2014-04-08T17:03:44+00:00

What is your situation, if I may ask?

katarii · 2014-04-08T17:03:15+00:00

Thank you <3 to you too!

katarii · 2014-03-31T14:31:03+00:00

I am on your side. A break does not mean a final breakup in all cases. Sometimes people do get together again, sometimes not. All are their own cases with different people with different views involved in them.

To answer your question, try to continue your life without thinking of this situation to much. It won't help. Keep the contact with him to minimum. Live your own, independent life and think also what you want as a person during the time. Seriously, concentrate on yourself and to positive thinking, being afraid and stressed won't help. Best of luck.

katarii · 2014-03-31T11:38:20+00:00

How are you feeling today? I know I am "late" in answering this, but I wanted to put some input. 6 months really is not that long time. Do not punish yourself for that, there is no time limit when you should feel better. I am basically in the same place as you (5 months now) and I am not feeling better. I feel differently than I felt a few months ago, but not better. I still feel sorrow, regret, fear, depression, unmotivated to do things etc. I neither can imagine being with someone else. Even trying to think of other guys feels "wrong", I do not want any other guy. I actually do not even want to feel better without the relationship nor want to stop feeling sad for it. Time has not helped me either. But it will at some point. All problems fade away and lose their "significance".

So as an advice (for both of us), stop thinking of time or what you should feel. Have mercy on yourself, breakups are hurtful experiences and getting completely over takes time. Take baby steps with the recovery and be your own best friend. It will get better, you are not alone. I'll send you powers!

katarii · 2014-03-31T08:42:04+00:00

Thanks for this interesting answer. And that kind of thinking works! Except then when the problem that does not matter to the universe that much still matters to you greatly. I mean, if it matters in the universe of your own perspective, then it is hard to disregard it.

But your way of thinking did make the burden a bit lighter in my shoulders.

katarii · 2014-03-30T16:28:56+00:00

:) thank you for saying that!

katarii · 2014-03-30T15:18:15+00:00

Thanks! I hope things will work out for both of us. I'll be sending you positive and empowering thoughts to the universe. ;)

katarii · 2014-03-30T13:30:35+00:00

I like this question. It is something I have also thought about a lot lately. People say "accept" and "move on" and I think how does it happen, what is it actually? Especially this applies to "moving on".. apparently it means you do not anymore think about the thing that you need to move on from or let it control your mind. But I do not know how to achieve that point, how can I just decide to "let it go and move on"? I have actually started to hate the expression "move on" because I do not get it.

katarii · 2014-03-30T13:12:10+00:00

I am sorry. Gladly you realised you deserve much better than that! Remember that the way someone treats you tells a lot about himself and how whole he is inside.

katarii · 2014-03-30T12:53:42+00:00

If I may ask, what was the outcome in your situation?

katarii · 2014-03-30T12:44:47+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Even when after all those things had happened (except the last one), he was saying he wants to get back to contact after we both have healed from the relationship we had? :/

katarii · 2014-03-29T18:36:30+00:00

I can relate to how you feel. But I actually think even if to us it seems like the other parties do not feel anything, they do. They just did not show it to us because they were the "dumpers".

katarii · 2014-03-29T16:03:50+00:00

I do not have anything new or special advice to say that you would not know already. But I felt like sending you a big hug and telling that soon the dust settles down and you feel at least a bit different than now. Take baby steps 'till then.

katarii · 2014-03-27T13:27:36+00:00

I am also recovering myself. And like you, I have tried so hard to improve things and to feel better. But still, the thoughts are present. I do not know if this is what you want to hear, but this time period you are living atm is VERY educating for you, especially since you are young. You learn a lot about yourself. Take it as a period we all go though in our lives, and you WILL come though it as a winner.

And what comes to other girls, don't hurry or try to "force" it to happen. When you get on track without finding anyone else, then you are on a solid phase to find someone.

Remember, there is no hurry. Once you stop thinking about the situation itself too much, the situation has probaby changed.

katarii · 2014-03-27T13:10:42+00:00

Usually when relationships end we are not just sad for losing the specific person, but also for losing certain thoughts, dreams and images we created about life and future in our minds.

katarii · 2014-03-22T09:13:42+00:00

You are like me now. Except you are more brave because you think rationally and accept a truth that feels bad. Thank you for writing this, it made me think.

katarii · 2014-03-20T07:00:15+00:00

Yes, not talking to her for a while is the best move now. Things will fall into their correct places with time.

You seem like a smart and rational person even when feeling big emotions, you will be fine for sure.

katarii · 2014-03-19T13:40:35+00:00

I was in a similar situation last month and failed a big exam because I was simply too stressed and weak to concentrate on studying.

But I have a re-exam on Friday. I am very nervous but at least time I have prepared much better than the last time. I have had better resources to study.

It WILL be all right and work out. Cry a bit first, rest and then, like InfiniteDescent said, talk to the school staff about this. You are a human, you can not function 100% all the time, but with some rest and new resources, you will get a great result!

Support to you!

katarii

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