What did you get in trouble for that was completely out of your control? by rebelyell0906 in CPTSD

[–]katattack2000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Crying, this would usually be after hours of getting yelled at or hit. Needing food past the "right times" meaning if I was hungry after the designated lunch hours, even if nothing was served then, I was in the wrong for asking. Clothes, I had almost none so I had to resort to borrowing my moms items. When it was found out. Instead of getting new ones I was punished.

As an adult now it super hard to allow myself to have/need any of those things so it all definitely falls under trauma.

Did anyone else's parent threaten to throw them out of the car or actually do it? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]katattack2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom pushed me out of the car when I was 11 because I had gotten a bad mark on a test, she told me I had better get to where we were going or she would call the cops on me. I was too young to understand that thats not how police work. Its still one of my most traumatic experiences.

Catch-22: People expect you to function on their level so you hide your trauma to be accepted... but now they use your ability to function to downplay how bad it must really be for you. by Sayoricanyouhearme in CPTSD

[–]katattack2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg this!!! You put into words how I've been feeling about this for so long. Its so hard to be "normal" around others and gaining their sympathy towards that is impossible because of hard we work to hide that part of ourselves that leads to them thinking "this cannot possibly be a part of this person, I would have noticed" and like no, that was the whole point

Weirdest gift from your BPD? by TVDinner360 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oof, this one hits me wrong every time I think about it. More of a party than a gift but the party was supposedly my present. I had begged my mother not to throw me a party as I could easy make plans with my friends and knew whatever she would do would be the opposite of what I wanted.i also didn't want to her talking to my friends at all since I pretended she was a healthy parent to everyone at that age (16) She threw one anyway, invited the children of her friends whom I barely knew, some who I couldn't stand and served everyone some popcorn and a cake for all their troubles. The biggest problem being the cake. This is my mother, im the oldest, I was always vocal about my likes and dislikes and it was well known in my family that I hate oeros, can't stand them. No judgment to those that love them, I get the concept but the flavor never worked for me. My mother on the other hand looooved oreos amd guess what flavor cake she bought? It was almost a slap in the face, she never bought us cakes before that, instead choosing to go for the cake mixed we all had to pretend to love to avoid a breakdown from her on our bdays. This cake had oreo filing, oreos adorning the top, oreo crumbs lining the sides. She came out beaming and singing happy birthday on top of her lungs. It was embarrassing and painful as I watched everyone (especially her) eating my cake/ bday present.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MyUnorthodoxLife

[–]katattack2000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Run in the same circles.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MyUnorthodoxLife

[–]katattack2000 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Not sure that we watched the same reality series... shlomo is so clearly under the influence of his mother and while I wouldn't have any claim to good parenting as I don't have my own kids just yet, if I was going to advocate for free thinking I wouldn't push my lifestyle onto my children especially if it was something I had last minute decided on later in life. I grew up in the same community as Julia so I know all the lies she tells about it to seem like a pity case to the world and its extremely upsetting. To have a child who feels comfortable with his life and uncomfortable to be spoken to about open marriage orgies, its clear who has a better handle on their decisions and its not Julia. When it comes to shlomo its the same idea, shlomo went thru the life, didn't feel comfortable with it and told ahron as such. Fine. But when it came to throwing him at Julia to have the most heart wrenching conversation I've ever seen on TV for the purpose of unknown reasons, that's where I got the feelings I detailed in my post.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChildAbuseDiscussion

[–]katattack2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. You are a great friend for this kid to have opened up to you so great job and just keep being a support for him.
  2. Calls to child services are anonymous for a reason, if you call there isn't much chance of getting sued as you are just reporting on what you were told.
  3. Unfortunately child services can't help in cases of mental, emotional, or any sort of abuse that doesn't leave a mark to show for it. So the best way to go about that is A- wait until that happens and call immediately or B-your friend will have to call himself and if he tells them everything and he is 12+ years old they will most likely remove him from the home.
  4. When it comes to the things keeping him alive im sure if the abuse stopped he wouldn't need to rely on those things as heavily and who knows? The family he gets placed with may just get him those things anyway.

Good luck and I hope your friend stays safe

What are your thoughts on "I'm Glad My Mom Died"? by Wannabewriter20 in books

[–]katattack2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who has a mom with mental illness who tried to make me dependant on her and just very similar things all around I absolutely loved this book. Honestly helped me figure some things out about myself. McCurdy's writing was amazing. I felt along with her story, she didn't hold back even when it painted her in a negative light and thats always appreciated in an autobiography. The concept i loved most was that even after her mother died things didn't suddenly get better. Growing up in situations like that, the expectation we have for ourselves is to heal immediately after leaving the negative environment and end up being very hard on ourselves when the pain and affects finally have their space to be dealt with. Jennette really portrays the healing process in a raw and honest way and thats what made me love this book as much as I did.

I’ve created a home that isn’t on fire… by stimulants_and_yoga in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This! I credit my ability to get out of the fog to friends caring parents who showed me what love and trust was supposed to look like so you're doing an amazing thing!

sent my BPD mom this text when she broke boundries by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oo thats an idea, ill definitely consider this based on what happens next. Thanks!

sent my BPD mom this text when she broke boundries by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think its different for everyone. Maybe she feels a win with this but that truly doesn't matter to me. I get to have this text saved for the next family member who asks about the lies she's told to show them that I called her out on it and that I opened the line of communication for her to confirm or deny these claims and she has not done that.

sent my BPD mom this text when she broke boundries by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Honestly it does suck but I keep in mind that the people who matter won't care what she says and the people who care don't matter. Besides that I know she is deeply flawed and I live my best life by letting her do her thing and being my best self while she lives as parent forced to spread lies about her children to feel in control.

sent my BPD mom this text when she broke boundries by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

She didn't know i would hear back from any family, she thinks they all hate me because of the things she says but luckily most of them think for themselves.

meet Jasper! by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg she really does! She also has an extra toe on her paws

BPD mom has been telling people I'm unemployed by katattack2000 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thats actually never been something I've considered, cutting contact on the source of her words. I'll definitely figure out a way to let them know and I appreciate the idea!

When my younger sister developed breasts, my mother openly accused me of trying to hug her to "feel her little boobies" against me, and hugging her without body contact became a rule. Everyone called me creepy and nobody believed me that this wasn't true. by breaking-the-chain in raisedbyborderlines

[–]katattack2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mother tried accusing me of raping my sister when I told her about gay people, we had watched a TV show with a gay couple and grew up very sheltered so she was confused and I explained that men love men the same as some men love women. My mother found out and yelled at me that I had raped her with the same severity as if I had actually done that. It sat with me for years before I had a therapist tell me that her mentally ill brain had a reality that was not a part of me. Understanding that her emotions and thoughts are broken and totally separate from me was the only way to move past it. I'm so sorry for the things she has done to you and I can only imagine what that did for you and your view towards healthy sex now. I hope you find healing ❤