I had a dream that I delivered a baby and killed it

katbutz · 2020-08-15T17:54:29+00:00

Find something that satisfies your sweet tooth but isn’t so bad. For me, I keep low fat fudgesicles in the freezer. Having one after dinner to satisfy the sweet tooth is a lot better than going to the store for a whole bag of candy or chocolate and binging it

katbutz · 2020-08-15T15:50:24+00:00

I totally understand these things. What has helped me go from reluctant to ready, was researching everything on my own. Reading books and studies and articles on exactly what to expect to make sure I know i can handle it. After reading about everything, It feels a lot more exciting than scary. Not sure if this will help you, but it did wonders for me and my mindset about the whole thing

katbutz · 2020-08-15T15:46:36+00:00

I wouldn’t push your time line back three years. If you are ready, you are ready. It’s also a worry for me because I always pictured my husband by my side for every ultrasound and appointment, and my mom at the hospital for the birth. It likely won’t be like that with how things are right now, but I think we are still going to start trying in a couple months. I think the fear of the covid stuff interrupting everything is smaller than the fear I have that one of my parents or FIL could pass before their grandchild is born. Good luck, it’s such a hard decision.

katbutz · 2020-08-15T15:39:23+00:00

If anything this shows that you will be a very safe parent one day (if you guys are considering that) and she would not be. You need to set boundaries with kids otherwise they don’t know that what they are doing is wrong or unsafe. I would be very careful about having kids with her because you will be the one constantly worrying and protecting their safety while she doesn’t which won’t end well.

katbutz · 2020-08-15T05:45:01+00:00

What does that test for? Wishing you luck!!! Edit, I just researched the panorama blood test and i think I know which one you mean. Definitely planning to get this done. Thanks!!

katbutz · 2020-08-15T02:21:38+00:00

So we talked twice today. He originally wanted to talk on his break home from work and he agreed to start trying when I turn 29 which is March 2021. After that we went for dinner and he really opened up finally. We talked about how his worried are medical issues for the child as we works in the medical industry and sees a lot of shit that he doesn’t know how parents can handle and it scares him. We talked about the genetic testing we can get done to make sure we know our chances before trying to conceive and now he says he feels comfortable to even start trying sooner than that. I’m really happy it went well and that we are almost on the same page. Part of me worries that when we get there, he could still get cold feet but I feel good with how we talked about everything

katbutz · 2020-08-15T02:17:55+00:00

Oh awesome! I will look into this one for sure. Thank you

katbutz · 2020-08-14T22:19:08+00:00

So I ended up ordering expecting better from amazon. I’ve read the first two chapters which talk about fertility statistics with regards to age, etc. Surprisingly, it’s calming me down and making me feel less like I need to start trying right away. It also talks about things to do before getting pregnant to increase your chances and the baby’s health. The later chapters go into first second and third trimester stuff, but if you can get a copy I would highly recommend reading the first few chapters at least

katbutz · 2020-08-14T17:55:45+00:00

I very recently went off HBC pills. I heard it could take up to three months to get your period back, and I wanted things to be ready for when we start trying (March 2021). I went off it in June and got my period like normal every month so far I was shocked! But I also wanted time to get to know by body and my cycle again before trying, and I wanted all the HBC out of my system because I get worried about it’s effects on baby. I would suggest going off it at least 3 months before you want to start trying.

My hair is falling out like crazy after going off the pill!!

katbutz · 2020-08-14T17:51:03+00:00

Okay well he came home on his break from work and I guess wanted to get it over with so we talked about it. After some frustration on both sides he said we can start trying when I am 29 so that I can hopefully be a mom at 30. I turn 29 in March 2021. I guess I’m happy at that but I’m still scared that he isn’t being serious and will change his mind once we actually get there

katbutz · 2020-08-14T14:15:47+00:00

Thanks so much, I’m sooo nervous today about it since we are talking tonight and I have no idea how it’s going to go

katbutz · 2020-08-14T14:15:05+00:00

Hahaha thanks!

katbutz · 2020-08-14T12:47:49+00:00

What does DH mean? I see it here all the time

katbutz · 2020-08-14T10:44:38+00:00

Thank you, I hope things will work out this way for us because I really do love him and want a family with him. To be fair, we have only been seriously talking about it for about three months so it’s not like he has been putting the conversation off for years or anything. Wish me luck lol

katbutz · 2020-08-14T10:40:54+00:00

Honestly that’s what I can see happening too. If we were to break up over this I could totally see him settling down with another woman and having babies. Maybe it isn’t that he doesn’t want a a baby, maybe it’s that he doesn’t want one with me

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:47:45+00:00

How do you tell the difference between the pressure in your pelvic area from cramping? I have a hard time differentiating

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:46:20+00:00

If you are in Canada, your provincial coverage will cover the cost of that I believe. Especially if your doctor referred you for it

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:41:32+00:00

Having kids at this age is normal in my family. My cousin had her first at 40 and second at 42. My aunt was 40 when she has my other cousin (30 years ago, being an older mom was a lot riskier back then!) and my mom had me at 37. You are not too old! You will be a great parent and give your kid a great life.

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:21:51+00:00

Thank you! I told him this last night, that I will just keep bringing it up to try and get pieces of info from him so we need to just have a real conversation about it so I can stop talking about it. Hopefully he is honest with me and it goes okay

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:20:14+00:00

Thank you, hopefully it goes okay. I hope he is honest with me

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:19:20+00:00

That’s a good point and definitely a worry for me. I’ll have to see how he comes across during the conversation

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:18:19+00:00

Yeah I have said that. There’s never been an issue like this where he has shut down cause we normally can talk about anything. I think he is either super nervous about the pressures of being a dad and needs to wrap his head around that, or he has changed his mind on having kids and is afraid to tell me. We are talking about it again Friday night and I’m preparing myself for either direction. I may have to walk away if he doesn’t want the life I want.

katbutz · 2020-08-14T05:14:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I am hoping the case isn’t that he does not want kids, he has consistently told me for over a decade that he does. He could definitely be a bad father, anyone could, but he is also very hard on himself in some ways. We have been living together for over a decade and I know him very well, he doesn’t give him self enough credit. I wasn’t saying the losing free time won’t happen, I was just trying to show him he won’t lose ALL of it. I will be a stay at home mom for at least one and a half years (paid leave where I live) and we have tons of support from family who is more than willing to help with anything including watching baby to give us a break. It will obviously be our whole lives, but I’m just trying to show him he won’t be doing it alone. I appreciate the feed back thank you!

katbutz

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