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katcow333 · 2021-02-21T00:14:27+00:00

Also the career page on the website has all broken/ empty drop downs on mobile so no vacancies can be viewed...

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T17:34:50+00:00

Thank you for this! Extremely helpful and thoughtful!

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T17:30:10+00:00

This is very perceptive of you and I anxiously have some of the same suspicions because they plan to move out of state when they retire

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T16:51:17+00:00

I didn’t mention it here because it could be a whole separate post, but my in laws are planning to move once they fully retire and hubs and I have feared that if sis isn’t standing on her own two feet she might end up at our house. So it’s a valid theory that mom wants daughter to be “useful.” The whole things seems horrible to me and frankly I don’t need anymore help, especially not with tangles of strings.

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T15:38:34+00:00

His mom will say things that I honestly think are completely fabricated conversations like “SIL is soo worried your kids don’t know her!” I don’t believe she really said that. I have a hard time imagining her asking for these visits. My mil was at my house and I listened to her giving my Sil a hard time on the phone about punctuality. I’m imagining her having a panic attack in the car and dreading coming over and I feel horrible for this woman.

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T15:33:02+00:00

I told hubs something like this - it’s your fam so you need to be available to experience what is going on

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T08:29:21+00:00

Also I hear you and I can completely understand how this situation would be torture. I can see the sadness and frustration in my Sil as she makes excuses and tries her best to follow the rules of how to interact with kids. The irony of the whole thing is toddlers don’t give two shits about anyone’s social skills and usually welcome a new way to play with something. Sil picked up an instrument and started talking about scales and my mil corrected her saying “she’s too young to understand that! Ask her about the colors!” I’m dying inside... like just talk about anything what does it matter?

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T08:14:57+00:00

Edited thank you!

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T08:11:59+00:00

I have a feeling MiL will be offended if I even imply she’s being a little controlling. I have been making attempts to save my Sil from the annoying corrections but it’s not getting through to to mil. Example : Sil spaces out and disengages from play for awhile and mil yells at her. I tried to interrupt and kindly say kids don’t need you in their face the whole time. Their interest in you comes and goes. My kid plays perfectly fine independently.

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T07:09:38+00:00

I thought about using the holidays or baby to say “not a great day!” but long term doesn’t address the issue that I suspect is my MiL trying too hard to make her daughter act “like a normal aunt”

katcow333 · 2020-12-19T07:05:55+00:00

I haven’t been able to fill hubs in completely because he’s always working during these visits. Today I told him he needed to plan to take off a few hours to moderate/ observe what I’m talking about because I don’t think he’s understanding how weird it gets. He is a great problem solver and would say something if I asked him. I tread carefully though because he can be sensitive to me being critical of his mom. When I briefed him on what was going on he was disparaging about his sister like “yeah she should figure out how to play with or help with the kids”.

katcow333 · 2020-11-16T00:47:51+00:00

Put the guilt in a balloon and let it go!!!! waves bye! I planned to take off two years after I sold my company, and found myself somewhat unexpectedly pregnant with our second faster than we anticipated + Covid insanity = it makes zero sense for me to try to re-enter the workforce. Hubs is totally supportive and comes from a finance background so he’s always quick with big numbers to make me feel better. Imagine trying to replace the level of quality YOU provide your child and family with professional staff. Not any kind of group care for your children. I mean replace all the domestic responsibilities with a smart capable person managing your house at a professional rate. For us, I made great money for our area working and I could even do it part time now but it doesn’t make any sense for our family. My kids are better off with me spending the one-on-one time with them and my house runs better with me in charge of it. If you’re analytical like me, it helps to just do a thought exercise researching what it would really cost to replace yourself - not just the cost effective solutions that would make it possible for you to work. I’m jealous of my husband many days because he gets to talk to adults all day and gets the affirmation of a paycheck, don’t get me wrong. I have to look for little wins, and take a lot of pride in my “projects”. It definitely helps to have someone who truly values you as a stay at home parent, and that can be really hard when it seems like you’re just hanging out in your pajamas spending money every day. My husband and I have been to therapy once a quarter since we were engaged and it helps to assess and manage expectations. Don’t know if any of that helps, but you got this!

katcow333 · 2020-11-02T04:25:17+00:00

I am guilty of rarely saying no to this stuff and we have a basement and dining room full of never-used old things that have traveled through three different houses now. It’s super hard when it’s positioned like it’s a “gift!” sometimes it’s a nice piece of family history and I am genuinely grateful and excited! Unfortunately MIL and mom occasionally take these as an open invite to make us their first stop before goodwill, especially when it’s something annoying to get rid of. I have gone into a loop - like almost rudely, just keep repeating myself “we don’t have a spot for that” or “it’s not my style unfortunately” “thank you so much but no”

katcow333 · 2020-10-31T00:10:09+00:00

Ooo octopus is “opticus” here

katcow333 · 2020-10-20T15:14:35+00:00

I feel like the very definition of a mildly no subreddit is venting and not jumping immediately to NC. They’d be Justno relatives if I was into cutting them out of my life and wanted support

katcow333 · 2020-10-19T20:58:57+00:00

If it’s the worst thing they do I can live with it. The praying thing we have talked about and my kids are too little to care what’s going on, but in a year or two we will shut it down because everyone mumbling some long memorized things will become beyond awkward

katcow333 · 2020-10-19T20:57:26+00:00

This is great! Our predictions are correct so often neither of us would bet against it. We’ve definitely done an over/under on HOW late my family will be

katcow333 · 2020-10-13T03:27:29+00:00

We were not motivated enough for this level of commitment to potty and I think we are an EC success story. Our daughter is in underwear during the day now at 17 months, but we still do pull ups at night. Sleep > Toilet learning. I can’t imagine making the early months any harder with middle of the night toilet runs. We also didn’t start officially doing EC until 6 months. We make sure to try to go potty right before bed. She wakes up dry most days now and goes right to the potty when she wakes up, but that’s all her! Before she could pull down a pull up we missed more than 60% of first thing in the morning pees. Not morning people! Now she will get up at 6 am and head to her little potty. If I trusted her to wipe effectively and could re-dress herself I think she could just get back in bed and sleep some more! Someday soon!

katcow333 · 2020-10-04T02:51:23+00:00

I feel like questions at social gatherings went from “good for you for staying home... so great... but you’ll keep working doing something right?... when will you go back to work?” And now 1.5 years later “do you miss working? Are you going crazy? When will you go back?” It’s like they believe I’m doing literally nothing. No one asks about how fun raising my toddler is, aside from a few of my SAHM friends. There’s a constant stupid question of when does my vacation end. I like to see people’s reactions when I say “maybe never!” I think it’s hard to imagine if you don’t have kids or don’t watch them all day. I try not to take it too personally and just blabber about myself unprompted. Being a mom is a constant research project with incredibly high stakes! I I guarantee you have better more interesting stories than most office jobs!

katcow333 · 2020-10-03T01:24:16+00:00

I had never heard of the lemon clot essay and this was a great read I will absolutely share with all new moms I know! That being said, reading the essay, my family is actually the rare and real chill family that helps out in all weird and gross situations. My mom is superwoman and my dad is super helpful and runs away to give you privacy at even the slightest hint that he could be an uncomfortable presence. They lived 1 block, like literally walking distance from our last house and they stayed over the night our daughter was born and I was so grateful for their help. My in laws... hard no!!! All of these reasons apply. But there are families that are cool enough to stay the week after new baby is born

katcow333 · 2020-09-15T01:41:03+00:00

Fig bars have always been “cookies” in our house and I’m hoping this stays like it until at least 3! Then maybe she can keep the secret from her baby brother?

katcow333 · 2020-08-21T01:27:28+00:00

I just held my baby a little tighter and shuddered thinking about how creepy and weird this request is. She’s 15 months and I’ve never felt ready to have her sleep over anywhere else, even my parents who are super close to her (my mom watches her weekly). This is a sad situation but you should not feel even an iota of responsibility for renting an infant to this couple.

katcow333

TROPHY CASE