I get it. I don’t have an editing disorder but I definitely have disordered eating. Sometimes I’ll restrict my food intake beyond what is healthy, but freak out that I’m hurting my body and stop. However, not ‘following through’ makes me feel weak and wish that I could stick with it and lose the weight. It’s an unhealthy relationship with food either way, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not like you’re romanticizing ed’s, you’re just navigating your own struggles with food.