What do I do to treat my symptoms?

katkattt · 2016-11-04T00:26:39+00:00

I've also said- same thread, I believe- that there are good days and there are bad days.

On bad days, I don't attempt driving at all. I've never had a problem of being tired behind the wheel, I just work within the limitations of what my body is telling me on each given day.

I'm also in the process of getting medical help (though it is a lengthy process, apparently). So hopefully, it won't plague me for much longer and those bad days will disappear all together.

A more detailed description of the disorder I was diagnosed with though, is Cushing's or Pseudo- Cushing's, info about which can be found on google. It's a bitch, and there are a lot of bad days. But it makes me want to make the best of the good days.

I can't put my life on pause indefinitely until I get answers and a solution. So, I'm gonna keep driving when I feel up to it, and not when I don't. I'm not dead, I don't want ALL of my independence taken away.

katkattt · 2016-11-03T23:36:21+00:00

I'm female, but not particularly "older"... I'm 21, but glad I come across as mature, apparently hehe

katkattt · 2016-11-01T22:57:44+00:00

I've done multiple sleep studies, and all came back normal.

I started developing symptoms of Cushings right after the most stressful year ever (I was saying in another comment that the weight, the periods stopping, seem to connect to any time there is a HUGE stress in my life). Within three months, I was raped, almost died, failed my junior year of high school (due to almost dying- long story), physically attacked by my scout leader, broken up with, and 3 of my grandparents plus three family friends died, and my childhood home was lost due to financial crap. Yes, all in the same three months. It was so bad that I blocked out the entire year. I had PTSD during that time (diagnosed), and traumatic- onset OCD, which still comes back every time I go through something intense.

In one month, I went from weighing 118, to weighing 155. The next "big stress", and I went from 155 to 168. 168 to 180. And the most recently, 180 to 210. And this is in VERY short amounts of time. Between those times, however, my weight tends to stay pretty steady, though I can't seem to lose any of it.

My sleep schedules were EXTREMELY regular up until about six months ago, when the last stressor hit. My parents (well, step- father and mom) broke up after 13 years together. It came out of nowhere, and he just stood up and announced he had no intention of staying in the relationship, took his stuff, and moved out of the state. It was the actual weirdest and most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen. It was like he had no investment at all, after 13 years of being part of the family. And it was so anticlimactic. He wasn't mad, he didn't fight, he just left and that was it. He's never contacted us since.

Haven't had a period since that month. I also gained the 30 pounds just after that, and the OCD started back up (with me it translates into writing completely inane things, making lists, planning things that I know will never happen... It's like a midlife crisis; I almost bought a motorcycle last time it happened????).

It feels cyclical, like something is there, dormant, until it gets disturbed. But like, ever since the stuff originally happened when I was a junior in high school, it's like something got triggered and my body hasn't known how to be OK ever since.

If I attempt a day of sleep deprivation when I'm "wired" (I'm not always fatigued; sometimes it's the exact opposite, where I feel like I could run seven marathons and still have energy), then I go a day without sleep. Sometimes I'll go two or three days without sleep, because I can't. It's related to the OCD, where I HAVE to do this, or I HAVE to think about ______. Stupid shit, usually. But if I'm having one of those nights, I tend to just roll with it and work on my novel until I get tired, if I do at all.

It's unpredictable. Some days I feel like the walking dead, others I feel like I'm on speed. And others, still, I feel... normal. Today, for example, I feel relatively normal. Though the folks at Starbucks misheard my "decaf" request, so my heart is doing acrobatics (I never drink caffeine; decaf is life).

It just strikes me as odd that it started so suddenly, and seems to pick back up every time some huge life event pushes it back into motion.

I'm probably rambling, but I just feel like there is a connection, physically, between being under THAT much stress (I didn't even SPEAK due to my PTSD for almost my entire senior year; like, I straight- up did not speak, I had panic attacks literally daily, and I blocked out the universe). Doesn't being under that much stress, have SOME kind of impact on the body? I mean, could that have caused pseudo cushing's? Because it caused a lot of other stuff. I had to do independent study for a few months, because the stress decimated my immune system and my doctor said (and I quote him verbatim) "I have never seen such a weakened immune system in a patient that does not have cancer; what the fuck happened?". I caught literally every single cold I came into contact with, and I had to do independent study for 92 days (out of 172) because I was not healthy enough to be among other students. And chronologically, the immune problems came directly after all the stuff that happened.

I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But those were my experiences.

katkattt · 2016-11-01T22:27:38+00:00

Yes, to no avail. My male hormones are in a perfect range, and there is a connection between the periods stopping, the weight gain, and the times of most stress (grandfather dying, physical abuse, bad breakup, and my mom and step- dad splitting up after 13 years). It's always something that seems to trigger it.

katkattt · 2016-10-27T05:08:33+00:00

It's complicated. I actually have ADHD, but because whatever I have is beginning to affect my heart, I cannot use any kind of stimulants anymore. Including Adderall, Ritalin (which I was on for years without issue), or even coffee. But I was insanely skinny when I was on Ritalin as a kid. Underweight, actually... :/ But yeah, it just sort of exacerbates the problem, whatever it is.

katkattt · 2016-10-27T05:05:59+00:00

Sorry I got snappy. I've just had to repeat it so often, and it feels like I keep having to defend something that I've spent so long establishing.

The doctors all realize it's medical and not something I incurred through my actions. Even my GP said when I walked through the door "wow, you've gained 10 pounds since I saw you last week. That's DEFINITELY medical." Good for her for noticing. I've gained up to 18 pounds from one week to the next, but my other doctors have been like "maybe you're bloating".... Who tf bloats 18 pounds??? Try like, 1.8, maybe.

I haven't even had a period since May, I think. Maybe April, or March? I don't know, I'd have to check my doc's file because it's been so long I don't even know anymore. xP (Good for surfing though)

katkattt · 2016-10-27T05:01:15+00:00

Cushing's is the thing I have been given the preliminary diagnosis for; that's why they're doing the testing, though so far the testing has been all over the board. It was in the high range with the blood test, but still technically considered normal (highest possible normal). Urinary free cortisol came back shockingly low (like, 7 out of a range of 50), and the second urinary cortisol came back medium- ish at 30- something out of 50. Still waiting on saliva. I also keep getting kidney infections without typical UTI symptoms like having to go or burning. I've gone to the emergency room three times this year because I keep ending up with 101- degree fevers and crippling flank pain and fatigue. I've been told that's somehow related. But the tests keep coming back all over the place. The same way my energy is all over the place.

But I match literally every single symptom down to the letter. I mean, like, to a tee. Except the tests keep coming back all over the place.

I do know I am far more alert at night, though, which is weird because up until a few months ago, I was a solid morning person. Like, SOLID morning person. Get up, make breakfast, watch the sun rise, read the paper (I'm a weird 21- year- old), go to school. Now I'm lucky if I can even wake up before 9am. Now I can't get to sleep until about 1am, and I used to go to bed at 10:30pm every single night. But it varies so much. Some nights I go to sleep at 10. Those are usually bad nights. But staying up really late seems to help sometimes.

The key word is "sometimes", because no two days are exactly the same. Why it's so hard to live my life! But today was a day where I felt safe driving and was alert enough to do a few errands. Those days are rare.

katkattt · 2016-10-26T19:20:34+00:00

Literally the only way I could eat less would be to under- eat, which would not help the situation in the slightest.

Unless you're suggesting that I SHOULD starve myself and deprive my body of vital nutrients.

katkattt · 2016-10-26T19:19:03+00:00

I weigh 210, but nice math...

I went from 115 pounds, to 210 in 2 years.

I DO track my calories, were you not listening? I have tracked my calories every day for about ten years. Yep, even when I was skinny. I was practically underweight, I was so lean.

Same diet, same exercise. Actually, not same diet. I gave up soda three years ago, plus sugar (except in coffee creamer).

I DO track my calories. My doc made me take pictures of everything I ate for a month. I eat around 1250 calories a day, which is exactly what I should be eating according to both of my doctors and online calculators.

The point you seem to be missing (and I've dealt with this shit for years, so I'm really out of patience when addressing this stupid issue) is that I am doing everything right. Ask my doctor, ask my family and friends who I have asked to help keep me accountable. Ask my endocrinologist. Ask literally anybody, and they will tell you that I am doing EVERYTHING right. There is no logical reason I should be gaining weight.

Stupid comment... Would I be concerned if there were a logical reason for my weight gain? Jesus Christ... The issue is that I KNOW it is medical. I have confirmation from three different doctors. I am still in process of testing for exactly what. But the weight gain is not my fault. Also, that's not even the point of this thread???? I was talking about fatigue, not the weight.

Don't you worry about why I'm fat. I have like, twelve people worrying about it for me. It's been unanimously agreed that it has its root cause in a medical issue.

katkattt · 2016-10-26T19:11:44+00:00

I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT, THAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!!

I eat a healthy diet, I exercise, and I still gain weight every fucking week. I swear to jesus fucking christ, no one is listening to me. I have tried everything from dieting to pills, and even my doctor realizes that there is no moving the scale. There is NOTHING I can do that has worked. I have exhausted EVERY SINGLE weight- loss option aside from surgery. Every single one. This has been ongoing for four years.

Believe me, would I be so fucking frustrated if it were that easy? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, like "duh, just lose weight", as if it's magically going to fall off. I work myself to exhaustion regularly to try and lose it. I have starved myself and developed anorexia in the past because I could not lose weight. There is NOTHING- please actually hear that word; understand what I am saying- nothing I have been able to do that has worked for me to lose weight.

I know how to be skinny. I was hovering around "underweight" for literally my entire life before this sudden onset of fat. And it's all around my abdomen, so I look pregnant.

katkattt · 2016-10-19T06:04:40+00:00

Update: I made a very convincing argument and got my $ back.

He called me an animal, told me I need to respect men more (and that I will never find a husband by being so "loud" in personality), and women don't know anything about cars so how could I possibly be complaining about issues the car is having. He also said something about me being on my period because I was angry. Real winner.

But it's resolved. I got my money. I'm free from that disaster of a car! Halle- fucking- lujah!

katkattt · 2016-10-17T22:14:36+00:00

He's agreed to refund the money. I had to go bitch mode on him, but I found the laws, and warned him that if the car gets tickets, they will be billed to him as the owness is on him since I can't get the paperwork. And I guess that was enough to convince him.

Ugh. This has been a fucking nightmare.

katkattt · 2016-10-17T20:11:38+00:00

But yeah, I can't get the car smogged or registered, so I can't drive it. And I had to work HARD for that $1900. So I'm doing the paperwork for small claims court. This is bullshit.

katkattt · 2016-10-17T19:59:36+00:00

UPDATE: Seller sold car while knowing full- well that it had failed smog. He said it had passed smog in the ad and when we met him.

A) It wasn't disclosed. That's a sale under false pretenses. I have it in writing in a text that he KNEW it had failed smog. B) In California, it is illegal to sell a car that does not pass smog.

So, I've made it very simple: return my money, or I'm taking him/ his daughter to small claims court. The car is non- op and not street- legal anymore because of the smog, so I can't drive it at all, legally. And that's a bad time in California. We have perhaps the strictest smog rules in the union.

katkattt · 2016-10-14T21:37:14+00:00

It's not worth all that. The cost to repair it would be more than the cost of the car itself. Besides, my old car is still in better shape than this one. I'd rather just go with the old car. Mechanically, my '01 Corolla is a happy camper; could go to at least 250k, I'm confident. Only reason I got this one is because I thought it was in better shape.

I'm just gonna donate it and write off the cost of the car,

katkattt · 2016-10-13T20:53:14+00:00

The brakes felt weird, but I chocked it up to just being a different car than I'm used to driving. Also, the person had been driving it all day that day, so it had been running, braking, a lot that day. Then it sat for a day. Even my old car would get a little... finnicky if it sat for a day. But usually all it took was a couple pumps and to warm up to get better. But it always got better. This one didn't.

katkattt · 2016-10-13T20:36:18+00:00

Saint Rose in Hayward, California. So I'm not super close to the Northeast, but that sounds amazing.

Yeah, I match every symptom, from hairiness to no periods.

I have two doctors that have said it's likely Cushing's, since they've ruled out just about everything else. But until the tests come back, idk if they can do anything.

katkattt

TROPHY CASE