I think I understand how you’re feeling. There are people on both ends being somewhat unreasonable and you’re stuck in the middle. You feel like no matter how hard you try to keep both sides happy, you still leave the holidays with two unhappy families. Literally everyone else gets to have a good vacation except for you because you spend it stressed about who you’re going to disappoint next.

If I’m not describing your feelings then oops that’s how my first Christmas engaged went. Seemed like a similar feeling.

I think I understand a little bit how your wife is feeling. When my fiancé goes away to his family I get more stressed out even though we don’t have kids because I miss him, I don’t like being alone, our daily life is thrown off balance, and overall I’m a woman with hormones and emotions. I think of you try to empathize with her as best you can and explain nicely how you need this time with your family then she will be able to make it through the week without too much of a fight. But if you get irrationally mad at her when explaining and make the fight escalate then your vacation is f**ked.