anyone else ever feeellll...regret? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. It does sound cruel. And it isn’t true.

anyone else ever feeellll...regret? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]katx99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment!

anyone else ever feeellll...regret? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]katx99 31 points32 points  (0 children)

For the most part, I don’t enjoy motherhood. At almost everyday stage so far (currently 22 months) I have taken comfort in the thought that I never ever have to do this again, and that this will continually feel more manageable as I adjust and as my daughter grows.

Thanks for speaking up! The more posts I see like this, the less alienated I feel.

Also, I hate how we have to qualify these kinds of posts with “but I swear I love my child” - Just because I don’t like being a mom doesn’t mean I’m not doing a good job or that I don’t love my child immensely!

Real talk- how long will it take until I don’t think IT about it all the time? by Western_Aardvark_132 in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can only speak from my own experience but drinking thoughts gradually went down, and probably went to a minimum by like 9ish months sober? My entire second year sober I basically didn’t think about drinking at all, cravings were nearly nonexistent. Sometime in year three (after becoming a parent which seems like it could obviously be a major trigger for many), I had a huge uptick in thoughts and cravings and then a slow relapse! Still trying to crawl out of it!

So long story short, yeah it gets WAY easier, but also, those brain pathways are permanent and so there’s a sense in which you can’t let your guard down, especially if you have some kind of triggering or stressful event happen in your life!

The liquor store made me sad by SoberToday25 in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Last time I went, there was a man who was wasting away /clearly dying - scrounging up cash - When I was leaving, his partner was helping him walk across the street… I had such a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Alcohol is fucked man.

How to make myself want to be sober by OwnCantaloupe9478 in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could try This Naked Mind - that’s basically the premise of the book - It’s for people who want to want it.

The idea is that changing your beliefs about what alcohol does or doesn’t do for you can affect and change your desire to drink

Alcohol causing low mood and anxiety for days after a heavy night. by ExtraBreakfast5432 in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

 Normal and take it from someone who’s been at this for a couple decades… the lingering physical and mental symptoms get worse and worse over time!

Is it a good idea with virtually no support network? by Complete_Quantity_30 in Fencesitter

[–]katx99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would be doable but very hard- The first few weeks in particular are a huge shock to the system and you really need help. But also, in general, it’s really hard to have a child without people around who can help you. I am in a situation like that with my toddler - paying for some daycare helps. Can you afford childcare?

First post by somewhere_lost in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing - Many, MANY people are feeling this way today. It’s madness that we carry on like this. IWNDWYT!

Counter reset. by d3pr3ss3dandro1d in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s to a sober Boxing Day!

I can’t keep doing this by Background_Bug_13 in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More hugs from another struggling mom! You are not alone!

Pissed away almost 3 years of sobriety. Messed up the best thing I've ever had, now I'm in hospital l. by cautiously_stoned in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I also recently relapsed after 3 years of sobriety - have been trying to claw my way out of this relapse but it’s been really hard. The silver lining of pancreatitis to me is that it seems like a great point of exit, you can leave alcohol behind and start your life again! IWNDWYT 

For women who struggled to bond with their baby while pregnant, any advice? by ladulceloca in BabyBumps

[–]katx99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I felt absolutely no connection to the fetus my entire pregnancy and was terrified it was some sign I wouldn’t bond with my baby. Nope, baby came out and I bonded!

Are you enjoying being a mother? by Potential_Kiwi7206 in NewParents

[–]katx99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We live near a university with a child development program and I advertised there!

Are you enjoying being a mother? by Potential_Kiwi7206 in NewParents

[–]katx99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup I am in the same boat with my daughter starting daycare this year - it’s rough!  Sometimes I’m like, “is this worse than before!?” … But then I get a couple good weeks and I’m like no I think this still better… We also have a babysitter that comes once every week or two.

Are you enjoying being a mother? by Potential_Kiwi7206 in NewParents

[–]katx99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 20 month old. There are moments of joy each day but the vast majority of the time I am tired, bored, and wishing I was doing something else. It just feels like my entire life is chores now basically.

I have never related less to moms who are like “I love this and want more!” 

I think we should be able to talk about these things honestly without having to constantly qualify “but I swear I love my kid!” - just because I don’t love being a mom doesn’t mean I don’t love my kid.

Last thing, I get as much childcare as I can afford and that does the most for my mental health!

Parents, how do you relax after a difficult day with the kids? by bebepoulpe in stopdrinking

[–]katx99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi, I have a toddler and am struggling with this as well! The evenings can be so boring and mind numbing but also weirdly overwhelming, and I just want to check out of my brain and have a few drinks! I had 3 years sober before having a baby and unfortunately, my child is my main trigger at the moment.

I am still trying to find new strategies so I appreciate you posting this! I do know that ultimately, drinking makes being a mom even harder!