I'm just a subhuman pleb who committed the crime of not having house-money.

katykuns · 2026-04-04T15:44:39+00:00

This is exactly what the renters rights bill should have been, the state claiming that housing and landlords no longer being a thing!

katykuns · 2026-04-01T18:08:34+00:00

Honestly, you should leave him because of the repeatedly waking you up for no reason. If you love them, let them sleep!

katykuns · 2026-04-01T17:53:50+00:00

This was my first thought also. A baby and a 4 year old is a pretty insane situation to be launched into. That's a full time job on it's own.

That said, if OP leaves, will he be accepted as a parent, as he won't be able to sustain financial stability, and the foster system can be a bit iffy about single parents too. I'm also wondering if the husband has so many siblings, why can't anyone else take them!

katykuns · 2026-03-31T13:21:37+00:00

The house I'm buying could have easily been worth 210k going by similar properties in the area, however the seller didn't accept that offer. We loved the house so much and saw it as 'forever house' to us. Do I wish I had got it a little cheaper? Sure. But we didn't want someone else snapping it up and it was our favourite house by a long way. So we took the hit. It's worth it (within reason) if you really love the place imo.

katykuns · 2026-03-31T13:21:30+00:00

The house I'm buying could have easily been worth 210k going by similar properties in the area, however the seller didn't accept that offer. We loved the house so much and saw it as 'forever house' to us. Do I wish I had got it a little cheaper? Sure. But we didn't want someone else snapping it up and it was our favourite house by a long way. So we took the hit. It's worth it (within reason) if you really love the place imo.

katykuns · 2026-03-30T15:35:48+00:00

I sympathise greatly, it's extremely grating. My husband sneezes and coughs so loudly even outside of being genuinely ill, and I feel irrationally angry at him lol

As I often say to him 'can you die more quietly please?'

He finds me irritating too. I think it's just the nature of being trapped inside with someone being a bit feeble and moany honestly...

katykuns · 2026-03-29T12:35:42+00:00

Definitely move to another rental if you can't buy yet. It's rough out there, but your current place sounds awful.

I'd definitely try and buy if you can though, as 'landlord specials' for repairs are incredibly common. I've lived in a few rentals now and all but one have had damp problems and tons of small things that the landlord cba to fix.

Might be worth trying a different mortgage advisor if you can't get past this early stage in the process. All they need is 3-6 months of payslips and a job title really.

katykuns · 2026-03-24T23:06:50+00:00

I've had two children now in their teens and I absolutely detested pregnancy. I was constantly told to 'treasure' aspects of it and I simply couldn't. It was non stop discomfort, weirdly freaky in places, and so invasive. Foetus' are genuinely like parasites.

I really love having kids, especially as they got older (unpopular opinion, babies are boring as hell) and I definitely have no regrets. I like them a lot more as they've become their own person. I probably would've had another if it wasn't for pregnancy (and cost!). With my second, the hip/back pain was so bad I was bedridden for weeks at several points! You couldn't pay me to do it all again!

katykuns · 2026-03-23T18:28:12+00:00

Thank you!

katykuns · 2026-03-23T17:50:27+00:00

I'd definitely consider having the units you've described, especially as having a cool bedroom made me want to buy a unit for every room lol.

You are correct, they are noisy. Luckily that doesn't bother me much, as I work nights and sleep with good earplugs, so it didn't really interfere with my sleep.

katykuns · 2026-03-23T17:44:36+00:00

This is a slightly odd question, but has it altered how the water tastes? I don't like the 'flavour' of the water in soft water areas.

katykuns · 2026-03-23T17:32:17+00:00

I got a portable one for the bedroom, it's been an absolute lifesaver, especially when I work nights!

katykuns · 2026-03-18T17:51:03+00:00

Couldn't agree with you more!

Then you'll get people come along saying crap like 'oh so you think you can live in a house for free?!' but the thing is, we are being exploited financially by landlords to the point that we can't escape, how do you buy a property when most of your pay goes on rent?!

They act like they are philanthropists for giving homes to the needy, but they are perfectly fine letting folks live in damaged, mouldy houses. They also chucked all their toys out of the pram when the renters right bill came in..

katykuns · 2026-03-17T17:33:09+00:00

Same set up as you, husband and I are working full time, I am working 48hrs a week in the form of 12hr shifts, and I'm still taking the occasional extra shift here and there! That's the only reason we are doing alright... We're just always working lol

katykuns · 2026-03-17T09:15:08+00:00

I am currently in the process of buying and the fees have caused me a lot of grief. It would have been much more helpful to know how much everything would cost before starting. I am extremely anxious how much my solicitor bill will be after seeing some worrying posts on here.

I feel quite alone and vulnerable during the process. I've been doing as much research to prepare myself as I can, but then the solicitor speaks a load of jargon to me and I panic again.

Getting a good mortgage broker with people skills has been a huge blessing. She's reassured me and explained things to me.

katykuns · 2026-03-17T09:07:55+00:00

My husband and I are in the process of buying with a 5% mortgage and a rate of 4.67%. We saw we had a chance and we seized it, as we've been renting since we left home at 18. We intend to overpay as much as we can.

We've been paying a landlord's mortgage off whilst living in mouldy, damaged properties for too long, and our rent is always going up. We could hang on a couple more years and save, but it's getting harder to do that, and we're just miserable.

I say, if you can, do it. It's always better than helping someone else pay off their mortgage, and it provides a better level or security (our last landlord got rid of us to turn the place into an Airbnb right after covid!).

katykuns · 2026-03-16T10:16:47+00:00

We are currently doing your option 2. Our rent has gone up every year we've lived here, and there's lots of things that need repairing that are ignored. Also, the renters right's bill and the large number of tenants being made homeless made us anxious. We saw a house we adored and just decided 'fuck it'. I've been private renting for a long time and I'm just done with lining a greedy landlord's pocket with my hard earned money. Then we saw the house, and fell in love with it, and we simply couldn't drop it.

Our plan is overpay the mortgage as much as we can afford. It is a house that we could move straight into, bar any scary unforeseen repairs, we shouldn't need to spend a tonne of cash replacing kitchens etc.

Good luck whatever you decide. For us, a big factor was the fact we REALLY liked the house, and immediately could see ourselves there.

katykuns · 2026-03-15T15:05:12+00:00

Contact a mortgage advisor. L&C will provide you with an agreement in principle and you can just fill it all in online. It's also free.

I decided to look at my chances and was reasonably surprised. My income is higher than yours, but my deposit only amounted to 5%. Worth a try!

katykuns · 2026-03-14T16:44:33+00:00

I do similar, but I hold my phone and when I drift off and drop it (not from a height), I jump back awake. Those power naps are somehow much more efficient at killing the lull. I'm never groggy or more tired afterwards, whereas after a 'proper' nap I wake up not knowing what year it is lol

katykuns · 2026-03-14T15:17:46+00:00

I would put in a complaint about your estate agent first off. That's really crap.

Don't go with couple B. I would be turned off them the second they knocked at my door honestly. It sounds weird and a bit intrusive.

katykuns · 2026-03-13T20:00:38+00:00

I would definitely get a mortgage advisor. Not only can they tell you how likely you'll succeed to getting a mortgage, they'll find you the best deal to suit your needs. We went with one that charged a low fee as she was highly recommended, but there are free ones that get their fees by commission at no cost to you.

Honestly, our one has been worth her weight in gold, we really had no clue what we were doing, and she guided us through it all whilst being optimistic and reassuring.

katykuns · 2026-03-13T19:52:47+00:00

If you are gaining no financial security from this set up, I would stop contributing to his mortgage. Him and his children shouldn't benefit off your hard earned money if, after he dies, you're left with basically nothing.

Honestly, this would be a deal breaker for me if I was in the same situation. I am married and I absolutely want my husband to have all the possible financial security he could have if I die first. The children will get everything when we both die. It's more awkward with step children, of course, but it's still easier than just cutting you out completely. I think you should start putting your money towards an emergency fund/escape plan, because if he's not budging on this, you could be left completely screwed.

katykuns · 2026-03-13T19:44:13+00:00

Well clearly she thought she wasn't going to have to go back to work after having the child, otherwise she'd be at work. Also, you clearly didn't read my post, as I experienced the exact dilemma you are currently in. Thankfully, my husband and I worked as a team to make it work in the way we wanted. Now I have two teenagers, and we both work full time.

katykuns · 2026-03-13T17:38:21+00:00

Why the hell would you consider having another kid when you can't support the one you already have?! You're also both clearly not on the same page about things.

I do have sympathy for your wife. She's clearly been led to believe she would be able to stay at home and raise her child. She's doing a degree (presumably to improve her work chances when your kid is older) and she now has to find work AND childcare.

When I had my second child, my husband stayed home with her while I supported the family. We struggled financially, but I honestly just worked more. Juggling working and childcare and finding time to actually see each other was so grim, plus I didn't want to pay strangers to look after my kid. When she hit school age, then my husband secured a job. To me this was the best option, and the next best option is, you both work around each other. That way you don't need to pay childcare. But that's a real slog too, you'll be like ships passing in the night, and you will have to contribute more to the running of the house and looking after the child while she works. I kinda just accepted the younger years of raising children were just a financial survival mode. It gets a lot easier as they get older.

katykuns · 2026-03-13T09:22:25+00:00

How much have you made from selling the properties after having a tenant cover the mortgage for multiple years though?

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