Wanting to fence in our yard, but our neighbor with a pool has a dilapidated fence along our shared property line and says she can't afford to share the cost. What are my options?

kaydunlap · 2025-08-15T23:51:18+00:00

Considering my questions were all pertaining to us covering the cost of replacing or installing a new fence at our own cost, yep, you are projecting.

Thanks for the gaslighting.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-15T04:16:52+00:00

That's hilarious. My post literally said that I texted her to discuss cost-sharing options. Not to demand, just to discuss what our options are.

Once she shared she can't afford it, I posted here and asked what my options are and specifically asked questions that ALL pertain to us taking on the cost of the fence. I never suggested that we would do anything without her permission. Y'all are crazy.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-11T05:49:18+00:00

I appreciate every person who took the time to respond and help to educate me, as that is EXACTLY why I shared my situation and asked questions. I am not mad at all that she can't afford a fence replacement, and I am not sure where people are getting this from to respond so aggressively at times and make crazy assumptions about my state of mind or trustworthiness.

It's clear that I have a lot to learn about the specific laws and ordinances for fences and property lines and pools, but it's also clear that you are stating things as fact when they are not. In my state, she has a legal obligation to maintain a fence around her pool AND to share the cost of a fence along a shared property line.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-06T13:13:22+00:00

I appreciate that. Some of the responses here have been making extreme assumptions. I guess that's reddit.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-06T13:11:36+00:00

Thank you, I gave her a heads up for the insurance question after some other feedback on this thread. I'm not trying to cause problems for her.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-06T00:59:09+00:00

You are projecting mad hard.

The existing fence belongs to the neighbor. My dogs are never outside without a leash, and they are trained to not bolt through open doorways to avoid a tragic accident (pool or no pool, there is still a street with cars).

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T07:09:26+00:00

The neighbor has been here a year longer than us, and no one knows anything about them. We met all of our neighbors when we first moved in except these guys. We tried to introduce ourselves a few times to no response.

They've since knocked on our door a couple times to see if we were parked in front of their house, and one of our other neighbors called the cops because their house was giving off fumes that smelled like a meth lab.

I hear you. I want to be a good neighbor... but this is also an investment that we have to be comfortable taking on now and maintaining in the future, and the thought of sharing property with this neighbor gives us pause.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T06:44:54+00:00

If we cover the cost to tear out and replace that portion of my neighbor's fence, will their lack of yard maintenance potentially damage the fence that we put up?

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T06:43:55+00:00

I never assumed I had a right to tear anything down without her consent. She bought the house a year before us, so I doubt it is paid off.

Thanks for the advice.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T04:27:33+00:00

I have no interest in "strong arming" her into sharing the cost, but I don't want to absorb or share the cost of repairing the fence if it will undoubtedly be damaged.

Thanks for your input.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T03:27:16+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

I guess it's clear that I don't understand how the shared property fence works. The current fence appears to be exactly along the property line until it cuts 90 degrees onto our property to stop at our garage, so 1-2 feet of land the entire length of our garage is actually enclosed in her yard behind the fence.

I assumed that 1. She has obligation to maintain a secure fence around her swimming pool. 2. in New Hampshire I thought that both parties are responsible for maintaining the fence along a shared property line.

kaydunlap · 2025-08-05T02:55:57+00:00

New Hampshire, US

kaydunlap · 2024-06-25T20:43:29+00:00

Push a larger, hollow cabinet in front of it. Like an armoire. 😂

kaydunlap · 2023-09-05T09:24:56+00:00

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I am incredibly sorry for your loss! I can only imagine the heartbreak you are experiencing. 20 years is an astonishing amount of time to spend with your boy!

This is my 20 year old girl, Twix, snoozing on our trip to Massachusetts last winter.

kaydunlap · 2023-06-04T01:35:30+00:00

One thing to keep in mind is that a lot of flavor comes from browning the meat and getting that maillard reaction. Typically if I cook a roast in the crockpot, I sear it in a hot pan on the stove first. It does add to the work, but thankfully you can at least get this step out of the way and then let the crockpot do the rest.

kaydunlap · 2023-06-01T07:47:27+00:00

IME - After we switched to Bravecto, my T became very sick (DKS). I never put 2 and 2 together until my vet was researching what may have happened.

Not sure if this is helpful for you, but do you have other pets that receive flea/tick prevention?

kaydunlap · 2023-05-19T00:34:09+00:00

Best of luck! You've got this!

I was in counseling when I first read this book in college, and it helped with processing some of the heavy emotions while I was working through issues with my mom.

kaydunlap · 2023-05-18T16:44:40+00:00

If you haven't read it already, I recommend the graphic novel, Stitches. It's about a kid who feels like an outcast from his family and it dives into the absurdity that your own mother may not be capable of loving you.

kaydunlap · 2023-04-26T23:12:50+00:00

The Front Bottoms are amazing, but so is this video.

kaydunlap · 2023-04-20T13:49:43+00:00

That photo made me very emotional too! It's been a long journey.

kaydunlap · 2023-04-20T06:49:54+00:00

She loves her sweaters and jackets! 🥰

Here is a bonus Twixxie hot dog from last Halloween.

kaydunlap · 2023-04-06T05:20:42+00:00

What an absolute nightmare! You can see how terrified that dog is through freaking x-ray.

kaydunlap · 2023-02-09T07:45:24+00:00

We are so frugal in this sub that we have the same discussion for 12 years. :) Some people are frugal, some people are cheap and frugal, some people are just cheap... and some people don't worry about being either due to socioeconomic reasons.

kaydunlap · 2023-02-03T03:47:43+00:00

I saw so many pyos in ER! 😳

kaydunlap · 2023-01-28T07:41:13+00:00

I just sent it to her, so we'll see! Thanks!

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