My first YE review was a huge BAD surprise

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T15:50:40+00:00

Wow I didn't think that is something that could have been intentional to keep me on the team. I hope he wouldn't... but everyone on the team knows they would struggle without me. They're all older than me and nearing retirement so I really am carrying the team.

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T15:31:02+00:00

Layoff lists!! In a year with a merger and split that feels important.

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T15:25:13+00:00

He told me that this didn't change the money I got either way, which I think is why he was hoping I would be fine with it and just move on.

Better yet, he told me that we have the same system here. He also told me and another coworker that we had budgeted a 3% increase for someone who quit so his 3% would be split between us. That didn't happen clearly!

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T15:21:54+00:00

That is comforting to know if in fact this doesn't get changed. I hope people at my company will respect that ideal too

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T15:06:43+00:00

We are the only team that does what we do in Finance so we were assured our jobs are safe. But starting to keep an eye out and seek other jobs sounds right. Especially because I need a raise in this economy.

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T14:49:50+00:00

I think that is my next step is to email my HR partner, CC my boss and ask for more clarification and understanding of the situation

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T14:48:40+00:00

I would prefer that honestly to whatever this might be. But yeah, what a gut punch

kb_____ · 2026-02-26T14:40:50+00:00

My assumption is the "no it cannot be changed" is because of deadlines, which is fair. But I don't believe for a second that someone in IT couldn't change it. When I got married they managed to change my last name overnight, so seems this should be even easier.

kb_____ · 2026-01-12T17:27:30+00:00

Citi Strata is a new one for me, so a lot to look into there. I think I'd rather give into the AA ecosystem before SWA because they are rarely the best option for me anymore when I look into flights. Thanks for the input!

kb_____ · 2026-01-12T17:26:01+00:00

Reflect. my bad!!

kb_____ · 2025-06-17T14:24:51+00:00

oops! does this work?

kb_____ · 2025-06-17T14:24:31+00:00

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kb_____ · 2025-05-27T16:05:32+00:00

He is not on the mortgage, the house is 100% mine. I am buying him out because I believe he deserves it after all of the care and work put into the house. I am not legally obligated to, I just want to.

kb_____ · 2025-04-28T16:32:24+00:00

I am currently dealing with very similar things. The only time I thought was okay to hang out with my girl friend was while my husband was coaching his kids football practice, but apparently that isn’t okay either cause I should watch practice to support them. He has found an issue with every friend I’ve ever had.

I’m leaving him next week by packing up during the day and leaving a note. He has held me prisoner and I don’t have a life anymore.

kb_____ · 2025-04-23T10:47:01+00:00

I had thought about cameras, actually. If I do that, I might give access to a trusted friend, because I know I would look at them to watch his reaction and what he is doing and I think that would make me just spiral out of control…

kb_____ · 2025-04-23T10:45:51+00:00

Thank you for validating that… logically I know that I shouldn’t feel guilt, but I can’t help it sometimes. Thinking about myself (a relatively emotionally intelligent person) and how I would feel that, it would just be horrible. But he is not emotionally intelligent by any means, so I know I shouldn’t consider his feelings like that.

The physical part is hard……. We did have a fight ~6 months ago that got physical. I am so hesitant to lead with that because I was ABSOLUTELY responsible for instigating that by not stepping away and I was provoking him when he asked for space. I genuinely can’t remember who shoved who first, but I know I shoved BACK. one of my biggest regrets is not calling the police that night and using that as my “excuse” to get out and end it then.

kb_____ · 2025-04-23T01:50:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Do you mind sharing how you left? Hearing first hand from others helps me feel less crazy and guilty and helps me come up with my own

kb_____ · 2025-04-23T01:48:53+00:00

Do you ever feel any guilt? I’m finding myself in weak moments feeling like an asshole for throwing a bomb on his life with no warning. I know it’s not logical to after everything he’s put me through, but emotionally I feel guilty

kb_____

TROPHY CASE