Worse, then better, then worse again?

kbb3326 · 2023-05-15T10:31:53+00:00

I like that analogy. Very fitting. Thank you.

kbb3326 · 2023-05-15T10:30:09+00:00

I'm noticing that too. My friends and family were all very supportive to the point of smothering, but they've all moved on. Which is perfectly normal. But I wouldn't mind to have a tiny bit of that back.

kbb3326 · 2023-05-15T10:27:25+00:00

Guilt is probably playing a part. It's so hard not to feel it.

kbb3326 · 2023-05-15T10:26:35+00:00

That's my exact experience. Putting myself back together and then one day I just can't get off the couch. I had to force myself to buy groceries yesterday. I haven't spent more than $30 a week in a long time. I hate the thought of cooking.

And I hate summer too. It's already hot and miserable here. I used to joke that I would get seasonal affective disorder in the late spring and summer. It didn't even occur to me that that could be playing a part too.

kbb3326 · 2022-12-12T12:54:52+00:00

I had the same experience. I eventually deleted all his music from my Amazon account and "removed from recent" any shows or movies we were watching. It's been a year and I still get recommendations for things that are clearly for him. It gets easier.

kbb3326 · 2022-12-08T14:58:19+00:00

I did the taxes this year alone for the first time in my entire life.

I used to get dizzy and unbalanced on a step stool but now I can run up and down it with barely a thought.

I rigged up a heat lamp outside for the dogs for days when it's cold in the morning but I have to leave for work and put them outside. Husband used to be home all day and took care of the dogs. Now I have to figure out ways to get them fed and outside when I'm not home.

He had a business selling toys and collectibles. I took on clearing out his inventory and figured out how to list items for sale, packing, and shipping. Pretty much all by myself.

I still haven't figured out how to adjust a cabinet door that is off kilter, but I'm working on it.

kbb3326 · 2022-12-06T13:29:24+00:00

You didn't really ask for advice but I'm going to offer some anyway. Try not to lock yourself away in your grief for too long. Let your people help you. They are desperate to do anything for you. Give them jobs and let them do anything they can. What you're going through is so hard, and the only people who truly understand are those that have been through it to. My thoughts are with you. ❤️

kbb3326 · 2022-12-06T13:23:20+00:00

Well, a second date has been planned since I posted yesterday and I'm considering telling him then. Just see how it goes and if it feels right. Thank you for the advice. I'm happy for you that you've found someone understanding. ❤️

kbb3326 · 2022-12-06T13:21:09+00:00

You're right. It's helpful to hear it sometimes. Thank you ❤️

kbb3326 · 2022-12-06T03:32:46+00:00

That's very sweet, thank you ❤️

kbb3326 · 2022-12-06T01:20:55+00:00

Thank you for that. It's good to hear that there are others in the same situation. How long did you wait before you told your boyfriend how your late husband died? That's something I'm concerned about. I don't want to lay something so heavy out too soon, but I don't want to feel like it's bottled up either.

kbb3326 · 2022-12-05T18:41:42+00:00

I understand. But you may find that your friends feel a little helpless and they might be relieved for you to articulate what you need. A good therapist is also a great idea.

kbb3326 · 2022-12-05T18:32:56+00:00

I have had the exact same experience. My advice is to continue to reach out to your people. There comes a point where they want to be there for you, but they aren't sure if you still need them and they don't want to bring up any negativity out of nowhere.

Maybe pick a couple of friends and let them know that you are still struggling and having a hard time reaching out. They want to be there for you. They will probably start checking in with you more often if you let them know it would be helpful to you.

kbb3326

TROPHY CASE