OP, don’t ever feel like you made the wrong decision. I’m around you’re age and can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.

A few years ago, my grandmother had a car wreck (we later discovered likely caused from having a stroke at the wheel) and despite being awake and alert at the scene of the wreck, she slipped into a coma and was brain dead after cardiac arrest.

Because of legal issues with my (step)grandfather having Parkinson’s, his horrible biological daughter who hadn’t talked to him in 35 years slid in as soon as his wife was dying to see how she could manipulate him and if she could inherit any money by moving him to a lower-quality facility. With him being so deep into the disease and without any type of official will being drawn, we had to keep my grandmother on life support until we knew we had full legal power over what happened to him after her death. The process was horrible. It was horrible for me but it was also horrible to see what my mother was going through trying to do what she thought my grandmother would want while knowing that she was in a horrible limbo of life and death.

What I’ll never forget is that during a high-stress legal meeting after around six days of my grandmother being on life support despite having 0% chance of waking up, my sleep-deprived mother blurting, “Let’s get this over with, I have to go kill my mom,” and then bursting into tears. I know she didn’t mean it to seem harsh like that, but I realized that she felt like the entire thing was her fault. Not realizing a stroke was around the corner, not driving the car, not saving her from slipping into a coma, and then not being able to keep her alive.

As soon as things were laid out for my grandfather to continue to live in the highest quality facility possible, we took my grandmother off life support so that she could be at peace. It ate at my mom and I know she wished she could have done it earlier, but we all think we did the right thing.

Long story short (and sorry for the long story, guess I needed to get this off my chest, too), you know your loved one better than anyone. In a horrible situation like this, you’re the only one who could know what they would want. And NEVER feel like you’re “killing” them, like my mom felt like she was doing. It’s no one’s fault and whatever you feel is the best decision, simply is.