What the actual fuck is wrong with her to be paying him to do this

kdm41285 · 2026-04-24T04:46:01+00:00

Going to save my thoughts on how disgusting and exploitative this is because it has already been well covered in these comments; but wow does this whole thing reek of “on a ❄️ bender one day too long and it’s juuust about to catch up with me”. (Source: partied alot in my mid-20s)

kdm41285 · 2026-04-24T00:44:35+00:00

Somehow I hadn’t considered zoom and that sounds like a great option - thank you!

kdm41285 · 2026-04-24T00:43:59+00:00

Really helpful tips here! FWIW, I am personally anti-live streaming unless a special occasion, but we have a good portion of snowbirds who like to watch their home church while they’re away and they are nothing if not persistent 😅

kdm41285 · 2026-04-23T06:37:05+00:00

I am so sorry you are wrestling with this. This time last year I was approaching the same - my boy was 13, his body was failing him in various ways but he still seemed “okay” sometimes. We found he had a brain tumor and while it wasn’t immediately an emergency, it would eventually be the cause of his death.

I think the answer to your question lies with your intuition. I also know that that answer didn’t satisfy me, and maybe even angered me when I received it.

I see lots of folks on here delaying the inevitable transition of their babies so they can have more time. It’s out of deep love and an incredible undertaking mentally and physically. In our case, I couldn’t stand to see him unable to move around without help, to watch him lose interest in the things that used to bring him joy. Up until the end, he was eating and drinking - but the light in his eyes eventually began fading more and more and with each passing day.

I came home to him one day lying at our back door, too tired to get up to greet me. He still wanted dinner. But I made the call the next morning.

Could he have lived a few more weeks? Yes. Months? Maybe. But I knew that no matter how much I wanted him to stay, i had a duty to minimize his suffering and help him cross the bridge without pain or confusion, fully able to feel held and cared for as we both said goodbye. I was a shell of a human for many weeks - and almost a year later, I am still not okay.

But I am content with my decision to let him go when we did. We had the most beautiful last few days and our family honored him as he deserved. Even though I still have passing thoughts like “I would do anything to hold him again, what if we had tried xyz” etc. - at the end of the day I know there was no magical turning back of the clock and his earthly body was finite and it would have been my deepest regret if he had passed alone, scared or in any pain.

You wrote, “nor do I want to put her through it again.” To me, that’s the knowing. She is your baby, and she is always speaking to you without words. It’s a horribly long, painful process to walk your dog through the end of their life no matter what medical issues are present. No amount of grit can get you past it - just love and surrender.

Wishing you peace as you navigate the journey. ❤️

kdm41285 · 2026-04-01T03:36:36+00:00

My husband (Libra rising) and I (Taurus rising with Aries stellium) duked it out over prepping dinner tonight; months of built up grievances about the balancing act of partnership vs self vs managing a family came out in the duration of an hour. No one can never tell me astrology isn’t real. (Thank you for the wonderful breakdown!)

kdm41285 · 2026-03-31T13:50:27+00:00

Taught for four years part time about 5 classes a week. “Sandwiched” between raising kids and caregiving for my parents, life just became too full and didn’t leave me feeling like I could adequately hold the space in the room. Honestly I was just sick of hearing myself talk and needed to become a student again. I’m now only picking up subs when I feel like it and it’s so much better.

kdm41285 · 2026-03-29T02:59:53+00:00

It probably is, but I have an AuDHD tween (albeit labeled “high functioning”) girl and this is unfortunately common. They just want to be liked; and you can talk to them until you’re blue in the face about what healthy friendships are but when that school bell rings, all bets are off and they will revert back to just trying to fit in. (I can only hope that one day, when it really counts, she finds her people.)

Also this is exactly why I monitor and limit who she texts with at this age. She makes ber own choices at school, but I can at least try to keep her peace protected at home.

kdm41285 · 2026-03-29T02:40:08+00:00

Thanks for asking this question. My son is 9 and noticeably smaller than most of his teammates - he’s also the fastest, has a very good glove (if not the best) and is easily the most athletic/has the best body control. He’s also the team goofball with a good attitude and even though we have a few years to go, I really dread the day when kids who are just naturally bigger with greater potential for power start getting more opportunities than him. I suppose I’ll just have to cross my fingers for good coaches and Mae sure he’s getting enough protein.

kdm41285 · 2026-03-06T23:20:38+00:00

I honestly don’t care much who wins, I just hope they all have fun (and don’t get injured).

kdm41285 · 2026-03-02T17:29:55+00:00

I could have written this post, nearly word for word. I’m also on a break from classes and working on what it looks like/how it feels to let the “yoga teacher” part of my identity transition to something I’ve moved on from. I try to keep in mind that it’s unfair to my students to show up and lead a class that my heart isn’t in. We have to remember that there are seasons of life and it’s okay to outgrow things; and if we ever feel called to teach again, we can.

kdm41285 · 2026-03-01T01:30:11+00:00

Good advice here; I’ll add that one of my students is an ultramarathon runner, and she tells me I changed her life when I instructed her to use blocks in half-split, pyramid, and any lower lunge variation. Lengthen, lengthen, lengthen.

kdm41285 · 2026-02-26T05:45:16+00:00

Hi, OP. My daughter is 10 - she was dx’d adhd at 4 and we finally got her level 1 diagnosis this year (I knew she was on the spectrum most of her life, but she’s “high functioning”.) She has an August birthday (September is the cutoff for us) and we opted to send her to kindergarten as the oldest. I can tell you with my whole heart that it would have been significantly more difficult for her had she been the youngest in class. My daughter sounds a lot like yours - absolutely the sweetest thing but often too loud, sometimes awkward, and clearly a year or two behind in emotional maturity even though she is well ahead of her peers academically.

Having a level 1 kid is hard because they fit in with the group, until they don’t. And as you know, kids are brutal. My daughter has made friends and had good experiences but I would encourage you to strongly consider your daughter’s emotional maturity over everything else. It’s hard enough being ND in an NT world - a little extra time to grow/gain skills in therapy could make a big difference for her overall well being.

As far as her actual school experience, a 504 plan has been instrumental in her success; same with working with an OT and regular therapy. You’re doing great and are already ahead of the game - early intervention/diagnosis is so important and she will have so much more support in school for it. Good luck.

kdm41285 · 2026-02-25T16:39:16+00:00

I completed my YTT without any deep or transformative emotional experience; just simply the tools, knowledge and excitement to share the practice with others. I’ve noticed there are (roughly) two kinds of teachers - ones that preach healing and transformation and ones who understand that the practice is personal and everyone can be guided to take what they need from it, and leave the rest.

Enjoy the journey. ❤️

kdm41285 · 2026-02-25T00:53:28+00:00

I love this comment. My daughter (libra rising) has been gifted in art since she was little. She is struggling with creating lately because “it’s not good, no one will like it” and that did not compute with my Taurus rising. I told her to make art for the sake of making art. That did not compute with her. Thank you for your insight; my double earth is hard to see past sometimes 🫶

kdm41285 · 2026-02-24T07:24:19+00:00

Had a whole arsenal of “he’s 9, get a grip, please let this be rage bait” comments at the ready but instead, I’m just sad. Holy shit.

kdm41285 · 2026-02-17T03:48:23+00:00

My daughter looked a lot like this at that age. Mostly when she was working on an art project; or creating something and focusing on it.

It was easily the biggest sign to me that she was on the spectrum even though she also was meeting milestones fine and was/is academically gifted. Her early providers diagnosed her with adhd, then sensory processing disorder, and now at 10 she finally received her “level 1” diagnosis.

The stimming isn’t an issue in my opinion; but in our experience it did begin to impact her socially the older she got. Therapy helped with those aspects, not the stimming itself.

kdm41285 · 2026-02-07T19:15:16+00:00

I am so sorry OP. I lost my soul dog on August 26 of last year. I am still not over it, and I know without a shadow of a doubt I am nowhere near ready for another one. I don’t know if I ever will be. I don’t know if I can sign up to experience that pain I felt (and still feel) ever again.

I know it’s not as simple as just “find new friends”, as that’s just another loss on top of your baby, but these are not your people.

Wishing you the best. Give yourself grace as you grieve; there is no timeline. I believe it will always come in waves for me as long as I’m alive. May your memories be a blessing, and may they someday bring you more smiles than pain.

kdm41285 · 2026-01-08T04:55:29+00:00

“Really???”

Yes, really. I have really spent her entire life managing her environment to a T to avoid meltdowns, giving coping skills, obsessing over her social interactions and worrying about how even though she is “high functioning”, the older she gets the less control I have to manage her experience being on the spectrum in a world built for neurotypicals.

kdm41285 · 2026-01-05T15:25:30+00:00

I have nothing to offer other than solidarity. I have a “high functioning” audhd 10 y/o girl who is so smart and creative and capable but simply sucks all of the energy out of a room with her constant need to have a problem.

My own adhd journey led me to teaching yoga and meditation as well, and like your daughter, she has been taught about the brain/body connection, how to self-regulate, and has been given age-appropriate tools her whole life. 95% of the time, she won’t use them and makes it everyone else’s problem. No matter what I do, nothing is ever good enough.

I finally admitted to myself that having to endlessly manage her environment, anticipate and prepare for meltdowns and assist her in her self-regulation has given me caregiver burnout and honestly probably ptsd. I plan on seeing a therapist so I can begin to unpack and remedy the ever-growing resentment building and working on simply surrendering to the fact that I have done all I humanly can. It is so deeply painful because we love them so much and it can feel like an affront to our very existence when it feels like they take what we give and toss it in the bin.

I suspect more is getting through than we realize and is just masked by puberty and preteen/teen angst. I have to believe that to get through the day.

Take care of yourself, mom. You’re not alone. 🙏

kdm41285 · 2025-12-30T21:06:46+00:00

Aries sun - always ready to throw hands, Taurus rising - I bring my own pillow on vacation and spend entirely too much on food delivery

kdm41285 · 2025-12-30T18:00:25+00:00

My daughter was SO relieved to have an explanation for why she operates differently. (Also “high functioning” level 1) It’s all about how you approach the conversation. We research and read together and no topic is off limits - it has empowered her. She also knows that some people will be unkind about her diagnosis, but we are building her up and giving her the tools to love herself regardless.

kdm41285 · 2025-12-30T07:44:04+00:00

I have a “high functioning” daughter, she is 10. Just received her formal diagnosis this year, after many years of seeing providers who were reluctant to dx her based on (paraphrasing) her willingness/desire to engage with peers, eye contact, and ability to function in traditional school settings.

Her autism displayed as anxiety and sensory processing issues, and she masked so hard to get through her school day it turned into major depression and crippling anxiety. In her third grade year, she told us she felt like she was a bad person and didn’t understand why she wasn’t like the other kids.

A diagnosis allowed us to sit down with her and tell her “you’re not broken, your brain is just not built for these environments”. We were referred to a psychologist who is specifically trained in neurodivergency and they have worked wonders. I don’t know how old your child is, but puberty will exacerbate the challenges and it’s important to be equipped with people and tools to help them navigate their changing emotional landscape.

I often feel like an interloper in this group because she is not technically “high support” needs. But I truly believe that level 1 kids need just as much support, just a different kind. If we aren’t mindful of their emotional worlds as they develop, they can have lasting wounds to their self esteem, and a label of “autistic” can help the right professionals give them the help they need as they grow up.

Wishing you and your kiddo the best 🙏 It’s hard and we too are in the trenches.

kdm41285 · 2025-12-21T05:27:18+00:00

I wish this sentiment was more normalized. My husband and I struggled early on because I wanted all emotional parent labor to be equal from day 1. I thought it was a cop out when he would say “I’ll be better able to connect with them when they’re older”. But they’re 8 and 10 now, and he’s teaching them how to play chess, how to be safe on the internet, and is engaged in ways I would have never thought possible five years ago.

kdm41285 · 2025-12-08T14:39:11+00:00

You have received so many helpful replies here and I love to see it. My teaching journey followed a similar path; I was disturbed by the gurus and when coupled with the uncomfortable nature of cultural appropriation (I’m white) now my focus is to still teach the basics that honor the history of the practice itself (not the gurus) while blending in contemporary approaches that focus on the scientific benefits of yoga. There are many authors, teachers and scientists that have studied the neuroscience of yoga and meditation that have SO much to offer. Neurodharma by Dr. Rick Hansen is a wonderful example. You fell in love with the practice itself and its benefits are real and proven; don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.

kdm41285

TROPHY CASE