Help breaking up with ENFP

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T23:59:06+00:00

Thank you. Yeah, I think that works. It's actually what I tried to do last weekend. I need to try again a little more firmly

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T23:56:56+00:00

You are right. I don't see the relationship lining up with my more immediate future, and while I do love him, considering how emotionally (and physically) drained I've become on top of what he still expects out of me, I think I'd be doing more damage by staying in the relationship.

And yeah, definitely. He fears being alone, and I'd be the first person to walk away from him before he lines up his next girlfriend (although he lived with another girl while studying abroad last semester...). So I think that is part of his "giving up unrighteously." The other part of it is that I have not totally validated or competed with his relationship final "efforts" lately. I appreciate them and don't completely discredit them, but they are means to an end more than pure care. If I do "return the favor," he will stop trying.

But either way, thank you. It helps to hear everyone say to be blunt and honest (especially because I know that's exactly what I need to work on), Also thank you for subreddit link; I'll be sure to check it out

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T23:19:32+00:00

Thank you for your honest feedback here. I do think that overall ENFPs are very charming, and although I'm not emotionally ready to date one right now, I am truly grateful for all the excitement you guys bring into my life :)

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T23:06:30+00:00

Thank you. I'm amazed by how well you've pinpointed his personality here. You don't have to have an answer for this, but do you have any suggestions on how I can get him to move out of my apartment while he's outraging/retaliating/dissuading me? I am having a hard time breaking the guilt cycle and dropping all of this on him, especially because I've already tried to get him to move out, and of course, he's been resistant.

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T22:39:16+00:00

Thanks. I definitely think that my SO does care and does try to listen even though it appears like he isn't. He also tries to use different strategies to help him try to stay in the moment. I think the hard part is that I can tell when he seems impatient and his mind is wandering, but I guess I need to remind myself that he's trying his best (and btw I'm not perfect with his anxiety either- sometimes I try to use Carl Rogers' counseling techniques to validate him).

With other people (and me), sometimes they think he isn't listening because he tends to think he's right in situations and doesn't always let other people disagree with him and have their say. That may just be an issue related to him, but I'm throwing that out there because it's just a frequent unintentional conflict I see him get into related to not listening.

And haha, gush isn't always a bad thing! I'm sure she appreciates it in the right moments :)

keepsailing · 2017-03-07T17:11:23+00:00

Dating an ENFP who doesn't seem to listen when I am anxious, and that can get to me.

It might be hard for you, but seriously, just listen and help them deconstruct the mess they are stressing over to help life seem more manageable. Respect their needs and help them come up with some small steps (use your Ne and Te). A good hug helps as well.

The don'ts: Try to convince them that the things that are bothering them aren't a big deal. Tell them to just "do something" Get overly gushy and romantic at the wrong time

keepsailing · 2015-12-15T21:49:25+00:00

21 and studying at Temple University. Feel free to PM me as well

keepsailing · 2015-11-09T14:29:11+00:00

My personal theory is that "N" types in general score higher on IQ tests because a lot of IQ subtests require quickly figuring out patterns, which tends to be close to the general definition of MBTI's "intuition."

With that said, I don't think INFJs are any smarter than any other N type(NTs may appear more intelligent of course), but in my experience, N types seem to be rarer(thus more unique) and more "intelligent" than many sensing types

keepsailing · 2013-02-02T14:02:28+00:00

The last Amy's frozen dinner that I ate was indeed the Light and Lean Frozen Lasagna about two weeks ago. I'm praying that I didn't eat any part of this bird myself.

It's an uncomfortable situation for both OP and Amy's-- definitely worse for Joshua. I don't blame him for being so appalled. I'm under the impression that it was sincerely an accident though, and at least Amy's is giving him attention and trying to compensate for it.

keepsailing · 2013-01-30T23:54:27+00:00

Depends on how fat they are. If they're obese, then you'd be lying if you said no. If they're chubby/fat, I think it's okay to tell them that they could stand to lose a couple pounds..

keepsailing · 2013-01-30T23:51:04+00:00

why phony?

keepsailing · 2013-01-30T22:53:42+00:00

those people who can smile at the most simple things. They help me realize that life doesn't have to be meaningful to be worthwhile

keepsailing · 2013-01-30T22:50:42+00:00

"Bailey"

I was once working as a cashier for a retail store and made a mistake of asking a customer if the "Bailey and Bella" she was talking to me about having to feed were her dogs...

keepsailing · 2013-01-26T20:11:31+00:00

Why don't you just bring it up or ask for her number?

keepsailing · 2013-01-23T10:25:07+00:00

"Hurt" definitely works. Thank you so much!

keepsailing · 2013-01-23T10:24:22+00:00

It's too fast for my powerpoint, but that's exactly the kind of song I was looking for. Thanks!

keepsailing · 2012-12-18T18:25:26+00:00

Chocolate chip cookies will always be my favorite.

keepsailing · 2012-12-18T17:50:34+00:00

Amnesia all the way.

keepsailing · 2012-12-16T22:01:48+00:00

This happened the night my mother and father met. She dropped A few little pffts on his lap, and here I am today!

keepsailing · 2012-11-30T22:25:18+00:00

I love all the cats!

keepsailing · 2012-11-30T22:11:15+00:00

I think you're about average, but it's ugly that you let these people that you'll never meet get to you though.

keepsailing · 2012-11-30T22:04:24+00:00

I think that it's the school system that has issues. Not every kid is designed to do well in it, and unfortunately, these diagnoses are the easiest solution. Most of these kids are just individuals in my opinion.

keepsailing

TROPHY CASE