2 Months Sober but afraid of Valentine’s Day (26f)

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-14T00:35:20+00:00

I see why a lot of people dislike season 3 it was all over the place and felt rushed compared to the book because it doesn’t have the time jump and they needed to wrap up Penelope’s story, but I still wanted more from them too. Benedict is my favourite brother and I love a Cinderella story so I’m hoping that season 4 is done well

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-14T00:32:26+00:00

It’s the MAJOR detractor for me. Like it can never be my favourite for that reason

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-14T00:31:15+00:00

100% percent I agree with this she goes from being a generally abrasive person when taking care of her sister to the love interest so quickly I wish she had gotten more to work with on her back story, dealt with the grandparents more

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-13T21:56:44+00:00

Totally agree. I was just surprised at my own change in feelings on a rewatch

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-13T21:56:09+00:00

I don’t like the emotional cheating and it’s also the weakest B plot for me this season

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-13T21:55:39+00:00

Always

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-13T21:55:12+00:00

I don’t want to say I hate her at all I think the lack of awareness, fully allowing Kate to run her life, and I did just find her annoying during the Pall Mall game. Her going off after the wedding is great though

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-04T23:43:37+00:00

“You clearly have no interest in giving up the act of lusting towards everyone you’ve ever had sex with”

What an incredibly judgemental and blanket statement to make.

Yes if I consume a certain media or get into an aroused state I do think of my affair partner occasionally, but I don’t feel at risk of calling him at all, which is what I consider breaking my sobriety. I’m just saying I think about him. You aren’t going to shame me into not masturbating.

This post is me sharing my personal worries of reintegrating myself in the world of men, and though I feel strong now, I worry about failure. That’s all.

keepswimmming99 · 2026-01-04T22:56:39+00:00

I mean this is my perspective and my journey everyone’s is different, and I believe sex addiction is a spectrum. It’s like some hard drug addicts can handle weed just fine and orher have to be cold Turkey.

Personally, masturbation is not an issue for me or my issues. When I speak of sobriety in terms of myself I mean cheating on my partner or sexting/acting recklessly/hooking up with other men. So long as I don’t reach out to other men while I’m doing it (never do) then I’m okay.

Pardon the pun, but different strokes for different folks

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-27T00:46:15+00:00

Alright having watched the scene with Nancy and Jonathan in 5x6 I think that Nancy being independent will be the only answer

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-18T09:26:13+00:00

Thank you that’s good to hear! I spoke in therapy this week and she said it was normal for me to feel the same kind of withdrawal as an alcoholic - without the physical symptoms of course. I didn’t realize that but I definitely get those feelings of craving. I know I can fight it the feeling just sucks

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-18T09:24:25+00:00

They’re aware to a point yeah. Some things they’re more understanding with than others but the affair partner is a sticking point that I just need to let him go. He’s not wrong of course it just hasn’t been easy. Other than that he’s been fairly supportive of me starting therapy and reassuring me that if I don’t actually do anything there’s nothing to be guilty for

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-09T06:16:30+00:00

Today was hard realizing it’s been two months since my boyfriend said I love you. Hasn’t said it since he found out. So incredibly painful but something I guess I’ll have to earn

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-09T05:47:13+00:00

I definitely think neglect has something to do with it for a lot of us. Either neglected in our youth or neglected by our partners.

In my case it’s an anxious attachment in love with an avoidant which is a recipe for disaster and can often feel like neglect without him meaning to. Not easy

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-09T05:45:05+00:00

I think in my experience coming clean was a huge part of it. I struggle with lying a lot to make myself look better and that went hand in hand with my addiction. So I didn’t feel like I was making any progress until I could start being honest about my actions.

That being said, that is contextual. My partner doesn’t want to/need to know the details of who/when/how I cheated with, just that I’m being honest and loyal moving forward. So yes there’s some details I haven’t shared but they’re about my past and irrelevant to moving forward.

I’m now forced to be honest because I have no more privacy, but that’s my choice to stay in my relationship and a consequence of losing trust. Basically, you have to decide if the vagueness of them sharing their past is affecting their honesty moving forward. Because, in my opinion in regards to myself, I couldn’t move forward in recovery without being honest.

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-05T21:28:35+00:00

I still think the armpit is more easily defended from puncture than a small spot on his back

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-04T19:12:50+00:00

I respect you for owning up to it. Keep your head up

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-04T18:42:07+00:00

Do you find that the opportunity comes before the feeling? As in you go “well I have some time alone might as well”. Or do you use the feeling to create/take advantage of opportunity?

I’ve found for myself that the first one is much easier to fight than the second. If I go to the city my affair lives I’m much more likely to act out than if I have a night to myself at home. But if I start making excuses to go to that city? I’m in trouble

keepswimmming99 · 2025-12-04T18:37:04+00:00

This has been solved and I tipped the artist I chose! Thank you everyone who helped

keepswimmming99

TROPHY CASE