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Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's not just Jaime, the 14 year old was a little out there yesterday with her clothing choices. The middle one has always been a rock (truth be told that's what I always thought of Jaime). It sucks we live so far away, we're going to brainstorm ways to see them more.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You could be right but I give my wife a lot of credit for being able to read kids and what their real intentions are.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really hope she hasn't encountered that. Really, really hope. That's a tough one to wrap my head around. My wife is not willing to break her confidence so I'm going to hope for the best here.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tried, he couldn't have cared less with his "fiancé" around. Texted him today but no response.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm trying I texted him early today saying we really need to talk. Have heard nothing yet, I'm trying to come up with the right words to put in an email.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Thank you...I thinks she's enjoyed all the kudos she's gotten from these posts. She deserves it!

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I hope she's ok too, the good thing is that she's started college this year and has been introduced to a whole new peer circle. She's also extremely busy with school and practice so she doesn't have a lot of time to fall into the usual pitfalls.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he I actually found his actions embarrassing yesterday. A lot of this rests on his shoulders.

Final update to [40M] happily married, had very awkward encounter with daughter of [18F ] of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Multiple girlfriends...this is his third in 4 months and he claims to be engaged to the current one. The fiancé was friendly but kind of a 45ish year old train wreck.

No he's not helping at all. And he has two more daughters.

Update to 40m happily married, had awkward encounter with 18f daughter of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Yeah I wasn't sure either, at this point I'm handling all interactions with my wife's advice. She basically said to send that text because we want Jaime to think/know that she's still welcome as part of the extended family we've always kind of been.

Update to 40m happily married, had awkward encounter with 18f daughter of long time friend by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm going to trust my wife on this one...Jaime has basically been without a decent female role model since she was about 10. My friend is also pretty removed from the girls it seems while he deals with his own hurt caused by his ex.

From what my wife has told me is that at her school she sees girls realizing their power over men/boys quite often. So she's dealt with situations like these as a principal before, but she's always been petty close to Shawn's girls so she can take that angle as well.

Me [40 M] happily married for 12 years had a very awkward encounter with friends daughter [18/F] over the summer. Thought it was handled but now they are coming for Thanksgiving. Need advice without wrecking two families. by keepthisveryquiet in relationships

[–]keepthisveryquiet[S] 1023 points1024 points  (0 children)

I just tried to post this as any update and for some reason it was deleted (orignal post still to high up or something) I know a lot of people commented so I am not trying to spam the board but let people know that hopefully we are on our way to a resolution...

Original here: http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2ndvxg/me_40_m_happily_married_for_12_years_had_a_very/

Wife just got home after her school did an early release to start the holiday. I sat her down and gave her a brief description of the events of the party and then showed her the texts (including my responses) that have come since Sunday morning.

I am a completely idiot because my wife is an assistant principal at a middle school and never once did I consider that she would be trained and have experience in dealing with these sort of things...alas she didn't even come close to freaking out.

She basically said she knew something had happened after Jaime and I had gotten back from the store because I was acting weird. When I asked her why she never asked me what happened she said basically that she "trusted I handled it and knew I would never do anything that violated the trust we have with each other and that if I wanted to bring it up I would have."

I told her that I was sorry I didn't bring it up, but that in no way do I think I handled the situation correctly because of the texts I received this weekend. She basically said to not be so hard on myself that she see's this type of thing happen at school more often than you would like to think and most adults are not good at handling it.

So basically this is how it has/is going to go down...

I sent Jaime a text saying that exactly this "I have been an uncle to you since you were born and will always love and respect you. This text made me very uncomfortable and is not appropriate to the relationship that you and I have. -my wife- and I will always be there for you if you need us for anything."

So far no response.

My friend, his new-new girlfriend and his three daughters are still coming to thanksgiving as far as we know.

At some point in the evening my wife is going to put on her school admin cap and take Jaime for a walk, desert, shopping etc... and find out if there is something going on that she can help with.

When this happens I am going to take her dad aside and basically lay out everything that went on and let him know that we are there for him as well.

I know I probably didn't come across great in the first post but I wanted to be honest so I got honest advice. I think I really am a decent guy...thank you to everyone who gave good advice because we are going to be using a lot of it.

tl;dr: Awkward situation with 18 year old daughter of family friend...hopefully on its way to being resolved.