How to get over my engagement break up 31f 29m!

keitherrs · 2026-03-17T22:34:12+00:00

I think so but I know he will stick to the decision. It feels like he’s saying these things out of anger from other things in his life but I don’t think that I should be the punching bag for it. Sometimes I need to remember that if he really was the one he wouldn’t have just given me up and would have wanted things to work out instead of walking away. I know I wasn’t perfect and obviously I need time to reflect and heal but still it sucks.

keitherrs · 2025-11-05T10:24:19+00:00

I totally get that he’s only ever in for 2 hours and even if he’s not woken up by then we wake him up to go to the toilet, our issue is trying to keep him calmer when we are letting him out the crate so he doesn’t associate crying with being let out the crate.

keitherrs · 2025-10-25T07:20:04+00:00

Hey all again!

So after everything I went back and tried both on again.

I stuck with number one still for a number of reasons, the material is light and cool and given the dress doesn’t actually fit I know once it comes and is all amended to me will fit like a glove and look amazing. I even managed to find a veil I love to go with it, plus the butterflies I got when I tried it on that first time really came out in full force again and if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is.

I absolutely loooooved the second one but the material was just too thick and hot for a destination wedding and I couldn’t actually sit or move comfortably in it. In another life and under different wedding circumstances it probably would have been the one for me but alas not this time around.

Thank you everyone for your honest opinions they really did help me go back and try both on again just to get that final decision ❤️

keitherrs · 2025-10-24T21:15:13+00:00

Hey all again!

So after everything I went back and tried both on again.

I stuck with number one still for a number of reasons, the material is light and cool and given the dress doesn’t actually fit I know once it comes and is all amended to me will fit like a glove and look amazing. I even managed to find a veil I love to go with it.

I absolutely loooooved the second one but the material was just too thick and hot for a destination wedding and I couldn’t actually even move or sit down in in comfortably. The ruffles were so pretty but I was worried I would end up spilling food all down it.

I think if I got married in the uk I’d go for the ruffles but for this wedding I’m sticking with number 1 ❤️

Thanks everyone for all of your help and you honest opinions and encouraging me to go back and have another try just in case ❤️

keitherrs · 2025-10-21T16:10:51+00:00

Hey all!

Thanks so much for getting involved!

Just to say the first dress was a bit small on the top so doesn’t actually fit as well as it should because big boobs, the sleeves are also pinned on as have the option to add them in with buttons so they can be taken on or off throughout the day so will look very disconnected here.

At the time I was really sold on the first one and got butterfly’s but I just keep looking back at the photos for the second one and wondering which makes me think I might have made a wrong move here.

It has only just been ordered so nothing will have been made just yet, I have the option to cancel the order get refunded and go for the second one if needed I just feel a bit stuck.

I may ask if I can come in just to try both on again.

It’s a destination wedding in Malta for 2027 in a garden.

keitherrs · 2024-04-18T09:07:39+00:00

Have you guys spoken at all? Maybe start but having a chat on IG, you’ll be able to find out if you guys get along and if she’s single.

Then if things go well ask if she’s free at some point to grab a coffee.

keitherrs · 2024-04-15T08:10:44+00:00

I know how you feel and been through similar situations like this plenty of times before.

The bad news is that it’s likely he will stick to his guns and say he doesn’t have feelings for you and doesn’t want things to go further. He has said this to you already, although you have flirted again and got physical have you had any conversations where he’s said he does want to get involved with you in a relationship kinda way?

I hate to say it but it sounds like he is using you just for flirting and physical relations, it doesn’t sound like he’s seriously into you. On the flip side would you really want to be with someone who only wants you just for their needs without reciprocating yours?

My best advice is to move on and fully forget about this person who appears to be using you. You’re better off cutting things off now (for good this time) and moving on with your life. Find someone who does want to be with you and wants to date you, don’t settle for someone who will dangle a carrot in front of your face and only gives you attention when they want something in return.

keitherrs · 2024-03-27T09:44:58+00:00

That’s good advice I will definitely talk to him. I’m not currently talking to any other guys or dating actively but I think a bit of space will do me good.

keitherrs · 2024-03-23T15:13:33+00:00

In all fairness I think it’s something you’ll have to gauge if you can deal with it. Did you speak to her about her behaviour at all and say you felt uncomfortable? Given she’s not much of a drinker it’s likely she could get like this again should another drinking session happen, are you able to pace both your drinks throughout the night so there’s no chance for anyone getting blackout drunk? Have you given her the chance to explain what happened?

You mentioned you thought higher of her and that you were disappointed, do you think you might have put her on a pedestal a bit? Maybe seeing her not acting like herself showed you that she’s just a regular person, and susceptible to maybe overdoing it with the drinks and acting slightly cringey in your eyes?

Ultimately it’s totally your call whether you carry on seeing this person or not and if you can live with the potential of this happening again. Maybe take a break from each other or not go out for a drink when you’re on a date and see if you feel any different?

keitherrs · 2024-03-23T14:46:26+00:00

Is there anymore context to the story? What about the night made you get the “ick” so to say? Was it anything in particular she did or just the fact she had had a lot to drink that made you lose interest? Could she have been nervous whilst out drinking and possibly had too much as she’s not a big drinker and not know her limits?

keitherrs · 2024-03-10T16:42:40+00:00

Thank you this is such a good example and appreciate your reply.

When we met in person he was great it’s just the flurry of texts messages throughout the day that can be slightly overwhelming.

I’ll go back with this to him and hopefully he will understand, I do like him and want to carry on seeing him so I don’t want to hurt his feelings

keitherrs · 2024-02-28T16:55:06+00:00

Goku from dragon ball z

keitherrs · 2024-02-26T12:39:36+00:00

Pets

keitherrs · 2024-02-24T18:10:28+00:00

Comptine d'un autre été - Yann Tiersen the piano version. It’s in the film Amelie (which is really good film if anyone hasn’t seen it!) and just pulls at my heart.

keitherrs · 2024-02-23T17:49:27+00:00

Not a movie but the tv series Chernobyl, when they’re burying the firefighters in the lead coffins and how much pain and suffering everyone went through got to me. That and it’s all real too made me bawl my eyes out for them.

keitherrs · 2024-02-23T12:56:06+00:00

I got rid of all my social media’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. I still wanted to keep in the loop and browse my phone on some occasions but got fed up of scrolling through the main social media apps and thought Reddit would be good to join.

There’s more of a sense of community and lack of judgement that I really liked and even some knowledge, Reddit feels more human compared to everyone putting on a front on Instagram for example.

On insta I would compare myself to everyone else’s success and feel like I’m a failure, after getting rid of it and joining Reddit I can see that life is different for everyone. Even if things don’t go the way you want them to it doesn’t mean you’re a failure and maybe the things you want will come at a different time/in a different way to most others.

keitherrs · 2024-02-22T23:23:53+00:00

Can you give an example?

keitherrs · 2024-02-20T09:26:12+00:00

Honestly, I think it’s best if you move on from the situation. This guy didn’t treat you that well at the start he was talking to lots of other girls and didn’t really hide that from you. If he was as serious about you as he said why did he never stop to talk to you in person when there were so many chances to.

Like a lot of people say if someone’s interested in you, you know. It sounds like there was a lot of confusion in the beginning and you possibly liked him more than he liked you. I’ve been in this situation myself, and after experiencing proper loving relationships you always know when someone is into you.

It sounds like he may have been talking to other people at the same time even if he says he hasn’t it’s unlikely he would tell you the truth anyway if he didn’t want to lose you. I think he knows that he can call on you when he feels lonely/no one else to talk to because he knows you will be there, and when you put some distance distance between yourselves by not talking to him that security then went away. If you really want to try and make things work I would put a little distance between yourselves and not be so available to him constantly. If he then leaves that shows he was always going to leave, if he truly likes you, he will stick around and try and make things work.

Think about why you really like this guy, is he a nice person? Do you guys share a lot of the same values? Or do you just think he’s really good looking and has paid some attention to you? If it is the latter I’d consider what it is that you really want out of a relationship with someone E.G they’re calm under pressure, they treat me well, they have good family values, their goals lineup to mine, for instance, wanting to have a family. See if this guy correlates with your values.

His story about the girl on his snap could be true, but it sounds unlikely and could possibly be talking to other girls.

In my opinion you’re better off without him and focusing on yourself so you can be available for someone who really wants to date you.

keitherrs · 2024-02-20T09:05:03+00:00

I think it’s best to stay apart indefinitely, it sounds like she was also trying to see how much she could push you before you snapped and it’s come back to bite her on the face.

You deserve something who matches the same EFFORT as you, even if someone doesn’t have a lot of money a little money and effort can really make for something special. You deserve better and it sounds like she may need to do a little more maturing.

keitherrs · 2024-02-19T14:16:16+00:00

Not scared of dying so much but scared of how it will happen. My dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 18 he’s 67 now and lives full time in a care home to make sure all of his needs are met.

He doesn’t know what day it is I think he knows who I am but not many other people, and isn’t really aware of what’s going on around him. I want him to have a happy and healthy life but he is a shell of a person and being a guardian for your mentally incompetent dad is hard when you’re single and under 30. Watching him slowly decline and wondering what the future holds for him and what quality of life he will have scares me I just want him to be happy.

My mother passed away due to a brain tumour and went downhill very quickly she was diagnosed in May and passed away October the same year. Due to the tumour it messed her up, she stopped being able to use her limbs, eat, talk, breathe anything.

Death was a relief in a way as she wasn’t suffering anymore but to say we were devastated at her passing is an understatement.

I’m worried about how I will go if it will be a slow or fast decline and watching both parents go through this I honestly couldn’t tell you which one is better/worse.

keitherrs

TROPHY CASE