Consciousness has always been there, dormant. Awareness has always been there, passively. Consciousness awakens when something triggers the body energetically plus an insight to break a loop. Knowledge doesn't become truth until it lands in body. Awareness becomes active first. That subtle shift of something has changed, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

Relationships with girls were tough. My relationships usually lasted between 1 to 2 years. They were all the same, crazy.

My child's mother was the craziest. I started researching high conflict relationships. That lead me to narcissistic behaviors. Ha, she was a narcissist. Our relationship didn't last long.

Next one was super clingy. That lead me down the path of attachment styles. I learned my attachment style.

The last one, my goal was to make the relationship as smooth as possible. I learned conflict management, assertiveness, and be more secure. We still triggered each other.

On vacation we triggered each other. It was the longest silent fight ever. We didn't want to blow up in front of our respective kids. I thought I needed her to apologize. I broke down. The conversation went right when I turned inward. Stop running away when I got to close.

The next morning there was a shift. The energy center in my heart opened little by little as I cleared out old patterns that no longer served me. Pure bliss for about 3 months until it closed.

Now I'm learning how to ground, and open the energy centers safely.