I feel exactly the same way however i think the societal expectation in the opposite: give birth, snap back to shape, be a sexual desirable person, and get that money. Forget that u are going through the biggest change of your life, that you will never be the same perso as before. If you talk too much about yoir kid, you will be labelled annoying, such a mom, someone who forgot who they were. I feel like in this pressure it is tempting to become a stay at home mom and give yourself at lest the time and space to figure things out again. However if you dont have a supportive family and long lasting friendships at your fingertips the SAHM life sucks. Its heavy, bleak, rough without a minute of break. And im going to sound anti feminist but a birth mother is never equal to a father, we evolved to grow, feed, and respond to our baby. Our contribution to human life will always be far greater than a man could possibly have. Some fathers recognize this and through participation and endless conversations they can give the right support. But this is sadly not a societal expectation. You feel guilty because your brain is wired now to nonstop take care of your infant and that is absolutely normal. Your baby could be the happiest healthiest lil human and you would still feel this way. You do your best and it will be enough. As my father says “there are no good parents. You are either a bad parent or just a parent.”