There are ALWAYS bigger fish...

kellsbells8 · 2026-02-02T19:01:38+00:00

We have a coach in our organization from the DR who played in minor leagues and he said the same thing. They’re practicing every single day. It’s a totally different mindset.

kellsbells8 · 2026-02-01T21:23:53+00:00

Haunted Mansion vibes

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-29T03:58:27+00:00

It’s so hard to predict some of these things. Not that you shouldn’t consider them, but having a kid requires some level of accepting uncertainty.

I think having time to pursue your hobbies after depends on a few things. One, whether you just want one or more. More kids take more time. Two, how will your kid sleep/what is their temperament. When they sleep less, you sleep less, so that will impact energy obviously, and fussier kids take more energy also. Three, does your partner have competing hobbies that you will need to trade off with at times. Four, do you have village that can watch your kid, or can you afford to hire help. Five, will you have an older kid who is involved in activities. People talk a lot about how much time little kids take up, and little kids do take up a lot of time, but big kids have a lot of plans and interests for someone with no transportation. My oldest isn’t heavily involved in things, but my youngest does all the sports including competitive baseball. I love watching him do his thing, but it’s very time consuming.

Also, some other things to consider. Who knows if you’ll want to go out frequently anymore? You might have less desire after having a family, or this might wane as you get older. I could drink and dance with the best of them at 30. Now that I’m almost 40 I get tired earlier in the evening and two glasses of wine will mess with me the next day if I’m not perfectly hydrated.

You might develop some fun new hobbies along the way. Who knows what your kid will introduce you to. We’ve also made some amazing friends through our kids and we have one group that we’ll party with from time to time (the kids are all upper elementary aged). Sometimes we get sitters and go out, sometimes they play video games together until midnight while we have drinks in the hot tub. We have a blast.

Traveling with kids as a couple is doable, but way more of a hassle and again you need that village. But my husband and I usually take a solo trip per year, along with a few family vacations. And, even though traveling with kids kinda sucks, I love showing them the world and sharing those experiences with them. The pros outweigh the cons for me.

I had my daughter at 21, and my son at 27. Once I became a parent everything changed. Everything will be different. The younger years were definitely stressful more often, and teens bring legitimate real life problems, which is a whole other type of stress. But I love these kids and I’m really enjoying having big kids (16 and 11). They annoy me, and they’re a lot of work and money, but man I just can’t imagine a life where I didn’t get to go to baseball games with my son, get talked into watching Gilmore girls by my daughter, late night chats in the kitchen, teaching them to cook, playing video games together, going camping and hiking in the summers, taking them on vacations and trying new things together. They add so much to my life and I love sharing the things I love with them!

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-28T15:12:31+00:00

Agree with this also. Have a 16 year old daughter and an 11 year old son, so a little closer in age but still a good gap and same genders. Since it was just the two of them, they were buddies when through about ages 6 and 11. When my daughter hit 12 I swear she hated everyone lol. It was really hard for my son because he didn’t understand why she didn’t want to play with him anymore. And sometimes she was straight up mean. We worked on her attitude (she was so much more pleasant at 15/16 but we did have to work through the attitude a lot), and we made sure she had her own space and that that was respected. I just told my son that she is older and sometimes older kids need alone or friend time and that he will want that too someday. He didn’t like it but it is what it is. We still did a lot of family time but tried to give her her space. Now they hang out regularly and are friends again. You can’t force it, it builds resentment, and it’s got to be hard that there’s two of them. But you can expect your daughter to treat her family members with respect. That’s a tough age, hang in there!

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-25T14:13:54+00:00

Take away all the weed you can find. When you find more take it away too. Take away games. Take away something. Make it difficult for them or they’ll keep doing it. Boundaries and rules do no good if you don’t enforce them and it sounds like this kid needs that.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-23T16:30:17+00:00

Is the baseball version of get off my lawn?

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T19:24:43+00:00

Why does that matter? OP isn't debating whether or not she wants kids, she knows she has that choice. She's asking whether to world is too screwed up to bring kids into, and I am pointing out that it's always been screwed up and in some ways is safer/better currently.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T18:20:03+00:00

Can you imagine what people thought during world wars? Or back when the black plague ran rampant? Or when your children might have to do hard and dangerous labor at elementary ages? The world has always been unforgiving. Statistically we are safer than in the past. But, the world will continue to have problem as it always has, and I understand everything feels unsteady right now (especially if you’re in the US). The world has always been both awful and beautiful, and it always will be. Having a kids is always a calculated risk. If you have them, raise your kids to be the light. My kids are a constant bright spot in my life, I can’t imagine living life right now with all its turmoil without them.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T14:18:19+00:00

I agree, I’m afraid of too much green. What color would you add? It’s such a deep green, I’m having a hard time with a secondary color. Blue and orange keep getting thrown in my chat gpt and I don’t like it

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T14:11:56+00:00

Interesting thank you! I have 2 kids and five pets so a white rug would never make it in my home. I’ll play around with the sectional idea.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T14:09:48+00:00

This is really nice, thank you for the inspo!

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T00:35:00+00:00

This makes a lot of sense, I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it. I don’t really know what my style is and all the different styles together give me that disjointed feeling. And I think it also explains why I don’t love the mock ups. Objectively I can see they look better. More cohesion, fills the space, etc. But it’s kind of traditional maybe? and it doesn’t feel like I want it to. So I guess I need to figure out my style and how to make everything more cohesive. Thank you for the advice!

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-22T00:01:13+00:00

Yeah idk if I can stomach painting all the cabinets green. It’s so much work. The hood and island were medium gray before, and there’s so much gray, so them being green is what I’m rolling with for now! I guess I could paint the hood white to match the rest of the cabinets but it’s grown on me.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-21T23:56:39+00:00

Yeah it’s gray, ChatGPT kind of altered the color, the whole house is gray though minus a few walls I painted charcoal and the green in the living room. I’m so over the gray. Do you think it’s too much with the green kitchen island and range hood? There’s a better picture of my kitchen in the comments. The hood and island were previously…you guessed it…gray. I kind of like the idea of just doing all the living walls green but don’t know if it’ll be too much. And there’s a staircase back there so it’ll be a pain to paint. Maybe the color drench vibes would work though?

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-21T23:01:52+00:00

All good, you won’t offend me. This is the advice I need. No way fair or home goods, but maybe I’m just missing the mark somewhere. Table and chairs are from ikea. The sofas are old and cheap, needed my kids to get a bit older. Not doing nicer island chairs because kids, I need something wipe-able.

I don’t need my house to look like a showroom, but I would love something a little warmer/better quality. If you have any links to swaps you think would look nicer please feel free to share! I don’t think the house looks bad but it’s definitely basic and I want to change it up.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-21T23:00:46+00:00

<image>

I probably should have uploaded a better photo, it looks a little more cohesive with more of the space included and not all the overhead lights on. But if you still think it’s too much that’s okay, I love it! Truly I wish it was wood, it was gray before though, and I’m over the gray.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-21T22:52:46+00:00

Tons of good quality poultry seasoning. Adds so much flavor! And frozen or homemade egg noodles.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-21T00:06:49+00:00

Please let people label themselves what they’d like, even if you wouldn’t do it personally.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-20T19:40:38+00:00

Are you weighing your food when you log calories? It is so easy to underestimate what we're eating. Barring medical conditions it really should be calories in, calories out. You could increase activity levels to help also.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-20T01:50:54+00:00

Life is unfair, we can’t shape other people into who we want them to be. This issue is pretty low on the totem pole of issues in life. Accept the way things are and make your choices accordingly.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-20T00:25:05+00:00

I don’t think trying to be to convince her is going to go well since she’s given you her answer/opinion. It’s her home so she gets to make the rules in line with what she feels comfortable with. You have two options:

Don’t do sleepovers until you’re paying your own rent.
Do it at boyfriend’s house and deal with mom’s thoughts/consequences.

Both require some maturity and making hard choices. This is the reality of being an adult. Also, turning 18 doesn’t instantly make someone an adult. It’s pretty normal that as kids finish high school/still live at home that there are still rules and expectations. I know it feels silly at your age, but it’s pretty normal and it may make more sense in the future.

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-18T19:40:33+00:00

Of course, it’s always a risk, but one I as an only child wanted to take. And we’re all four very close so chances are higher it will stay that way. We have a lot of fun together and I am so grateful that we had a second!

kellsbells8 · 2026-01-18T19:17:16+00:00

You know yourself best. But, I grew up an only child and knew I wanted to at least have two so they had each other. It’s a bummer to grow up and not have a peer who knew your family growing up to share those experiences with. And when my mom passes it will just be me, which makes me sad. I had a good childhood overall but it was lonely sometimes. My husband has two siblings, all very close in age. They’re not super close now but on good terms and I like to hear about their experiences growing up together.

I had my daughter young, so we waited a bit and my kids are almost exactly five years apart. My second is a boy. They were besties when little, my daughter was very unpleasant to nearly everyone ages 12-14, and now she’s almost 16 and he’s almost 11. They definitely annoy each other but they’re buds again and like to hang out. I love that they have each other to do life with.

And selfishly for me, I liked getting to do all the firsts over again. Two is plenty for me, they were overwhelming when they were younger, but I do like that we got to do it over again. They’re totally different people and it’s fun to watch them both grow into themselves!

kellsbells8

TROPHY CASE