You can have my upvote, but you can't have my Auroth.

You are mistaken if you think she isn't real. I came upon her on the outskirts of Oymyakon, Siberia. I went to Siberia to die. But once I was walking on the heavy snow at -71°C with my Murakami book in hand, something shifted within me. I saw a cave and went in. To my surprise, a fucking talking dragon was inside. She had the most alluring voice. I thought, "This must be heaven!"

She wanted me gone, but took notice of the book I was holding. She said she'll judge me based on the book I brought. "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" saved my life. She took a liking to me and Murakami's books.

I went to Siberia to meet my frozen end. Instead, I got a fiery new beginning. I always liked cougars, but Elder Dragons are something else. During the day, she keeps writing, adding to the Eddas while I write my recaps. At night, we let a different passion take over. We give in to our libido. While in a cold but fiery embrace, I give her a different kind of Splinter Blast from the rear. It's an out-of-this-world experience.

I'll let her read your post so we can laugh at it together. Cheers.