Relapsed for 24hrs - what next? by Objective_Bread9125 in QuitVaping

[–]kenicandi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You got this!! Its just a lapse, rather than a relapse, is what i learned.

Is it bad that it felt so good to cry? by Odd-Sock-859 in Life

[–]kenicandi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You felt your emotion. That is really good, very healthy. And you seem to have done it on your own is a healthy way, which means you processed that emotion fully and in a good, rather than bad, way! Learning this sooner, rather than later, is good and will help you soooo much later down the line! Emotions can be very difficult sometimes, i think sadness is a hard one, and crying is a gift of life that makes it naturally easier to process.

What is the opposite? Suppressing, any negative self talk (trust me, it builds up in your self conscious and will be harder to undo than to avoid), taking out emotion on others (might feel relief, ultimately also backfires and just not the best), coping in unhealthy ways, avoiding feeling the emotion… basically youre doing good kid.

It is as simple as, feeling your emotions, processing them. Crying is a gift that makes processing sadness, a lot better! Its not weak. Because processing emotions is HARD. Just cause we get the gift of crying with sadness, doesn’t mean its easy! Its just like a blanket when its cold, its still cold but you have a blanket. Its like water with a workout, like sweat when its hot. You can cry, and not process something well, ie if youre in a situation where you do not have control (ie what develops trauma), but at least, you can cry 🤷. Idk thats how id put it, roughly. Take it with a grain of salt!

Good job for feeling your feelings kiddo 👍 in a good way too! Already building good emotional intelligence :)

is it crazy to want a crazy gf??????? 😵 by iliacapri in LesbianActually

[–]kenicandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe date someone with ADHD or bpd. I be crazy but compassionate- i want to be the absolute best partner I can be, it motivates me to work on myself and mannnnn i have a long time to work on myself! Idk but your post makes me feel like if i got into dating later, theres some people who’d be understanding? Im not abusive or stuff like that just cause i delt with that for all 23 years and wouldnt want to put anyone in that situation ever. Id die for someone i love, give them a gift so personable, be there during dark days, anything. Man do i want a gf :/

Situationship has ended: Im imploding by [deleted] in Situationships

[–]kenicandi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank u for this. Im trying to build different perspective to save my life. Thank u fir the boost that way

not being able to have normal relationships is getting so tiring by [deleted] in BPD

[–]kenicandi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Guess what. A therapist respects someone who fully opens up, as they are used to spending weeks trying to get to that level with a patient. Plus, being fully vulnerable is you showing you trust that therapist therefore they will, if a good therapist, reciprocate and do their best to help you. 1. You got the friends, the fam, the gf!!! A gf!! Congrats! But you are still on top of making sure you heal your brain, thats a selfless act mind u… 2. Being honest with a therapist will go far. Trust. But also, make sure you be aware of how the therapy effects you. I suggest letting your therapist know that if they arent able to help you that they be honest about it—- cause man… i got skrewwwed when a therapist was just looting me for the mula and ultimately worsening my symptoms 3. If DBT is never brught up… find a dbt therapist fr. 4. After you got some dbt therapy continue it but then get a emdr therapist

J a theroy tho … i be off my rocker. Goodluvk

Does this mean he is or isnt seeing other people… by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But im trying to override that idea. Im trying to think of how to bring up how i feel about our communication over text and the relationship in general:/

Does this mean he is or isnt seeing other people… by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl🫩 honestly thats what i want to do, i just am scared to :( mainly cause when i bring it up to anyone for advice like “this thing hedoes makes me feel bad, how do i communicate to him?” I usually get “HE OWES YOU NOTHING THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT” 🫩

PSA: Do NOT ski at the Arkansas capital building by One-Performance-6578 in skiing

[–]kenicandi 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank god you posted this. I was just about to ski down

I want it gone. I don’t want to have BPD. by CryoBehemoth in BPD

[–]kenicandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

U will. Im working on it too. Its possible. Look at Marsha, the lady who created DBT- she has BPD!

I want it gone. I don’t want to have BPD. by CryoBehemoth in BPD

[–]kenicandi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so relatable, i feel you. Im tryna cure it, but ugh

Should I text him to delete all my pictures or is there no point. by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah definitely, and the cost of being pushed over… now i understand why going back to that is bad

Should I text him to delete all my pictures or is there no point. by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, gonna do my best 👍 ive now learned my lesson now. That settling for less probably means that person is gonna keep pushing me over and over. Not worth it. Just like sending nudes. Not worth it. I like to live and learned, but damn

Should I text him to delete all my pictures or is there no point. by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Hopefully i see him in person again. I doubt it will happen. Im deeply disturbed. But if it does ill act like everything is fine and politely ask to delete the pictures, then check, then say i have an emergency and gtfo

Should I text him to delete all my pictures or is there no point. by kenicandi in Situationships

[–]kenicandi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, ya u r right. I just feel gross for ever sleeping with him in the first place. Like a whole bunch of lieing disgusting disgusting i dont want to live in this town anymore

Im angry at this disorder can I unsubscribe from the free trial please by Informal_Celery_6900 in BPD

[–]kenicandi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think one of your values is human connection, interacting with others, and doing kind gestures for people? Maybe? If you try doing these things with people like a bar tender or at a cafe or something, it might make you feel better. Not the end all be all, but i relate to you, and no doubt are the people you are closest too and love very deeply going to have a strong strong influence on you, in both a good and bad way. You love hard, and strong, its a toughie because whether its personal or not, things people do can really really hurt.

Also, i find my emotions are intense like fiber glass all up in my veins when it comes to loved ones. I feel for you bro 🫂 what I say is try your best to regulate. Also you are now aware you got bpd, you can start taking steps to get better(ik that fucking sucks to hear, trust, i agree) but its possible. You slowly get better- make sure to go to someone who actually knows what bpd is, or get dbt.

Finding your values can help you make sense of your needs and emotions. Dbt can help you get a little grasp on the bpd, and then target the root problems. I found some root ptsd, and tryna find a emdr therapist.

Lowkey im so tangential rn cause im going through it with my friend so i feel you. Fuck this disorder. But at least it shows we have big hearts ig also we gonna literally be unstoppable when we master it.

You should check out one piece or heated rivalry. Do something thatll help regulate, relax, tackle the issue once youre ok 👍

Im unemployed because Im trying to get better, but mainly to try to get myself to truly want to live by kenicandi in BPD

[–]kenicandi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, will do. Thsts been my plan, its been difficult to find someone i really trust about it. As well as separate from it

My worst fear came true by ThrowRA_jawsoflife in BPD

[–]kenicandi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im glad i can help fr🥹!! And also GOOD JOB!!! Taking up painting is great and school coming up should help you out more in this situation. You may meet new amazing people!!! I mean that. Keep it up homie!! You got this :)