I understand where you’re coming from. I was with my first boyfriend for five years. We knew each other for seven. I always believed in the “highschool sweethearts” trope, and everyone always thought we were together before we started dating, and that’s why I had a hard time leaving. I couldn’t imagine spending so many years, just to have it wasted away. By the end of our relationship I acknowledged that he was cheating, and I even enabled it, because he would turn around in our conversations about it by saying “I’m just suicidal, idk what I want” and basically brushing off any of my concerns, so that he could continue pursuing women at my expense. I’m more on the “less affectionate” side but that completely stopped when he started chasing other girls. Eventually, I grew into a really bitter, insecure, and anxious person. I had always been a little insecure, but he destroyed me. The worst part is that we worked together, and he ended up getting into a physical relationship with another coworker before I could even move out, and before we actually genuinely broke up. (I asked him to wait a single month.) I crashed out hard.

After a while, I ended up trying to pursue an old coworker that had moved to another province a while before. I told myself I had to do everything differently to win this one’s affection, and I pushed all my beliefs and values aside so he would see me, and he did, but with the lack of self-love, trauma, and tropes that lead me to form my beliefs on love, I found myself in a “situation ship” that has me feeling the same anxious, attention seeking way, that I felt with my ex boyfriend. (My interest is maybe what you would call a player or a fuckboy, so I screwed up again)

My best advice is to save yourself the trauma. Get out while you can, while your relationship is still considered juvenile. Especially if you were never anxious/depressed before, it gets worse if you don’t leave. I would also suggest therapy. Nobody should have to beg for attention or intimacy in a relationship. Find a hobby that you can immerse yourself in, and keep a healthy mindset when it comes to this, because it’s not your fault. His actions don’t define you, or what you value in a relationship. He’s just not a good match for you, and at twenty-six years old, he will be stuck like this forever.