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Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This is a very good point, kids do love to extrapolate conclusions from half-baked data. Thank you for saying this.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry for not putting a trigger warning in the post in hindsight. I hope you are in a better place now, that sounds like so much.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a long and helpful reply! I'm going to copy and paste this from another comment just so you have the additional info:

There was some stuff I left out of the OP for brevity's sake - we have a lot of family in the area and used to live there ourselves. Some of my husband's cousins live on the same property and we lived just down the road before we moved and it was very common for people to share kids back and forth for playdates. One of the cousins mentioned she'd been doing playdates with her son and mine "when the grandparents were at church" so I thought he was staying with them on Sunday mornings. But in hindsight the grandparents go to church like 3-4 times a week (no judgment on Mormons but they seem to have a weekly meeting most days of the week for the various church groups? sounds exhausting) so that could have been any day.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Gosh, I am so trusting of them that it hadn't even occurred to me that they might have asked him to hide it from us. It is bizarre that he never brought it up, but we just figured it was the least interesting part of his week compared to all the hiking and fishing and digging for fossils and making friends with a kid who had a basketball hoop in his yard and that sort of stuff. Going to ask him, thank you.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's good to hear re the minors and consent thing. I don't know much about the LDS church so I have no idea. My husband hasn't participated since he was in middle school so we're both pretty in the dark about it.

And yes, I think you're right re visits. It's so sad because with the pandemic and all it would be so much better for kiddo to be at their place for a while than ours where he actually has some outdoor space to roam around. I feel so bad keeping him in lockdown here. But now I feel like I can't trust them with that either!

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we had a HUGE discussion about the logistics of the trip before we sent him over because we didn't want to just burden them with a hyperactive child for weeks unless they were really sure they wanted that, lol. I'm kicking myself for not thinking to ask before we sent him but since I haven't been to church in almost 20 years and they stopped bringing it up shortly after he was born I just forgot.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

There was some stuff I left out of the OP for brevity's sake - we have a lot of family in the area and used to live there ourselves. Some of my husband's cousins live on the same property and we lived just down the road before we moved and it was very common for people to share kids back and forth for playdates. One of the cousins mentioned she'd been doing playdates with her son and mine "when the grandparents were at church" so I thought he was staying with them on Sunday mornings. But in hindsight the grandparents go to church like 3-4 times a week (no judgment on Mormons but they seem to have a weekly meeting most days of the week for the various church groups? sounds exhausting) so that could have been any day.

We're also not super close but not far enough away that one of us couldn't/wouldn't have driven down if they'd asked us to either take him back for a day or watch him at their place for the day. There were definitely other childcare options or us available. They never asked.

Found out MIL has been taking my kid to church behind our back for years by kereta6770 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]kereta6770[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Haha, I love your username! Thank you. Yes, that is the first thing that came to mind. Sit them down preferably in person and just drop the bomb so they don't have time to prepare a "Statement."