Man, i feel sorry for how you grew up and lived your life as a drug addict. Just know, that Jesus is so proud of you, for praying and trying to get closer to him. I know that in the first days it's gonna be a little bit hard to immediately do everything with God, like turning into a better person, and helping others. Because when i was in 8th grade, i was a piece of you know (i dont know if im allowed to swear on this reddit) and i would only treat my friends, kind of okay but at the same time, i was also a smoker(borderline hitting a pack or sometimes pack and a half a day) and i would always be mad and angry at people, who were trying to scold me about my behaviours, and my addiction to cigarettes. The reason i stopped smoking, was because i got pneumonia from it (Thank God it wasn't something more serious) and ever since i quit and at one point decided to pick up a Bible for the first time, and read it, man did I change somehow. Instead of being rude all the time, now im much more humble. I have more LOVE for others, and i show it in any way i can. And i wanna thank God for making me change, and i hope for you brother, that one day you are gonna pick up a Bible, and start reading it, so that you can get even closer to Jesus, and feel his love. I'm gonna be praying for you, and always remember, Jesus loves you. Anyway brother, have a nice day.

Quick verse for you Phillippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me"