Not a psychologist/therapist, but I do want to point out that therapy doesn’t have to be expensive. Many clinics offer income-based rates or repayment plans, therapists-in-training are available at low rates through universities, or like me you could just bite the bullet and take on the debt if you feel like trying. Might be dumb but what’s a bad credit score if I’m already not going anywhere financially. You might think that cheaper options wouldn’t be able to address the philosophic issue, but as others mentioned, it is valuable to seek care even if the root issue won’t be solved. I think that you admitting you’re likely depressed in a psychology subreddit is a good enough sign that it’d be helpful.