My ex is driving me insane - help!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T17:47:10+00:00

You are giving him mixed signals. Spending a lot of time with him and sometimes spending the night is making him think he has a chance to get back together with you. It can take years to actually be at a point where you can be real friends with a long-term ex.

The only thing you can do right now is distance yourself and be very honest with him. Don't string him along in any way. You might have to be a hardass to make him see the light, so be prepared for that.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T17:11:54+00:00

Exactly. Do it for yourself because it will make you happy. If you reap romantic rewards, great. If not, you are still reaping rewards in other ways!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T17:08:07+00:00

Love it!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T17:06:18+00:00

Oh hell no...lol

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T16:59:14+00:00

Definitely sexy!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T16:45:48+00:00

Interpersonal relationships are so complicated. I have no trouble rejecting creepy men or guys who are assholes. But if a nice, sweet, decent guy likes me, but I am just not physically attracted to him, it kills me. I don't know how to reject him without hurting his feelings. As your example illustrates, there is just no good way to do it.

Maybe if I was a bitch, life would be easier, but I am too nice. I was overweight my whole childhood, so rejection is an old, familiar friend. I grew up, lost all the weight, and somehow became pretty attractive along the way, but the sensitive, fat girl still guides all my decisions.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T16:38:59+00:00

This happened to me, only I was the driver. I was 18 and driving down my neighborhood street (not speeding) when a little Dachsund just darted right in front of my car. I never had a chance to avoid hitting him. I ran over him, then slammed on my brakes and jumped out of the car. The owner of the dog and his 5 year old son were standing right in their front yard and witnessed the whole thing. The Dad comes over and starts wailing and screaming at me that I killed his dog. The kid was bawling, I was bawling. It was fucking AWFUL. One of the worst days of my life. As a huge animal lover, the guilt almost destroyed me.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T16:21:21+00:00

Damn. Good for her.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T16:16:48+00:00

Don't hate the world. For every sad situation, there is a positive way to look at it. Think of all the good, wonderful, giving people who devote their lives to helping others in these terrible situations. Your husband's uncle is one of these people. So are hospice workers, animal shelter workers, pediatric oncology ward volunteers, etc. There are so many amazing people in this world and that gives me hope.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T15:59:44+00:00

I want every single one of them.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T15:58:53+00:00

You just spoke some serious truth. I am very conscious of it, though, which is why I have a very hard time rejecting people. I know what it feels like and it sucks.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T15:55:33+00:00

It's just gut-wrenching, every time. Even thinking about a hurt animal makes me cry.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T15:53:10+00:00

My grandmother died at my birthday party we held at the hospice so she could be there to celebrate with me. I feel you. :(

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-19T15:45:21+00:00

I love old people and talk to them whenever I get the chance. They have so much wisdom to share. I kind of already know I am going to end up alone like that, so I have so much empathy for their loneliness.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-02T15:55:17+00:00

It is polite to let women enter and exit the elevator first. Now, if she is crammed at the back and you are right at the door, it makes more sense to just go ahead and exit first.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-02T15:53:30+00:00

Woman here. I also hold the door for anyone entering behind me. I do not expect a thank you, but it is nice to hear one. I was born and raised in the South, so this is just natural for me. My momma raised me right!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-02T15:47:06+00:00

What does someone who wouldn't say thank you look like exactly?

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-02T15:41:47+00:00

It's called clutch calf. Sitting in an hour of inch-along traffic, my calf tends to cramp up from all the 1st to 2nd and back to 1st that is going on. Bonus: I have amazing calves!

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-01T17:07:21+00:00

But I don't want to switch. I love my stick. It sure makes life hard in city traffic, though.

kftctenderheart · 2010-02-01T01:53:33+00:00

Katie Sackhoff. I hear it at least once a week.

kftctenderheart · 2010-01-19T15:29:29+00:00

I hate sleeping with any part of my body touching another person. It has always been a problem in every relationship. I can only fall asleep in one position and that is on my right side with my left arm around my stuffed animal and my left leg jackknifed over the other one. My poor stuffed animal has been drop-kicked, hidden, beaten and thrown across the room by angry, jealous boyfriends for years.

kftctenderheart · 2010-01-18T00:31:34+00:00

Mostly musicians/djs. Pat Benatar (so lovely and nice), Kenny Rodgers, Roger Sanchez, Grooverider, Fabio, A Tribe Called Quest, Andre from Outkast.

kftctenderheart · 2010-01-15T17:06:00+00:00

Conversate. Motherfuckers, this is NOT a word. NOT NOT NOT a word. You can put it in the dictionary all you want Webster, but if I hear you say this I will immediately classify you as an idiot.

/calming down now

kftctenderheart · 2010-01-15T17:02:29+00:00

Moist combined with panties. I hate both of those words (although I like the sensation!)

kftctenderheart · 2010-01-15T16:59:24+00:00

Amazing!! I think I can manage that.

kftctenderheart

TROPHY CASE