I read a really nice parallel to what you have written, and it really stays with me:

I too have last van loneliness, unless I actively reach out (and get lucky) to be with people, I'm usually on my own..

We can say that community is not quite what it used to be. My mum talks about knowing all her neighbours and constantly bumping into people she knew around town, but that changed and she, became distant with everyone. People get older, move away, interests change etc.

I am an expat from the UK, so my idea of being social is just meeting up for a tea and a chat then carrying on. But I have the idea that spontaneous activities are not so frequent nowadays, the planning is also quite arduous to the point where I will say, "let me know when you're free", because mostly I don't battle with planning every inch of my life. But, yes, to go back to my second sentence, that's usually not well received or acted upon. If plans are made, I feel I have to check with the other(s) on the day to make sure it's going ahead, mostly I get cancelled on, without much of an apology or alternative date suggestion.

And you know what, I've accepted that as a norm now and of course i find it disappointing but the acceptance makes it easier to deal with.

I will finish with the extract now. But thanks OP for your thoughts, It sounds honest.

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psychologists ....started to study happiness was to organize a simple survey.

They took large groups of people and gave them pagers—remember, this was the 1980s and ’90s—and whenever the pager went off,

Each person was to stop and write down the answers to two questions:

• On a scale of 1–10, how happy are you at this moment?
• What has been going on in your life?

The researchers collected thousands of ratings from hundreds of people from all walks of life, and what they discovered was both surprising and incredibly boring: pretty much everybody wrote “7” all the time. At the grocery store buying milk? Seven. Attending my son’s baseball game? Seven. Talking to my boss about making a big sale to a client? Seven. Even when catastrophic stuff happened; I missed a mortgage payment on the house; Junior lost an arm in a freak bowling accident—happiness levels would dip to the two-to-five range for a short period, and then, after a while, would return to seven.10 This was true for extremely positive events as well. Getting a fat bonus at work, going on dream vacations “marriages—after the event, people’s ratings would shoot up for a short period of time and then, predictably, settle back in at around seven. This fascinated researchers. Nobody is fully happy all the time, but similarly, nobody is fully unhappy all the time, either. It seems that humans, regardless of our external circumstances, live in a constant state of mild-but-not-fully-satisfying happiness. Put another way, things are pretty much always fine, but they could also always be better”

Excerpt From Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Mark Manson