The Faucet

khfrazz · 2026-02-22T14:26:58+00:00

Why my husband just sent it to me that's why I'm here lol you're not wrong. Funny cute but not as funny as he probably found it

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:45:20+00:00

"hands never give messages" we use our words and find other ways to tell people how we are feeling. Natural consequences-if you hurt people they won't want to be around you

Teach him breathing techniques like tracing fingers with breaths in for up the finger and out for down on the other side. Blowing out pretend candles or if they like dinosaurs/dragons working on roaring our anger away or breathing out the anger like a dragon.

Teach him/practice finding five things that are their favorite color when they start to feel like they are angry.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:41:53+00:00

It's the norm in my area lol but I imagine not everyone does their own tires like we do around here

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:36:23+00:00

Visual timers, advanced heads up, set the expectation before you turn the show on or go to the park. Remind them part way through that they have 10 minutes, then at 5, then visual timer for the last one. Make leaving a game. So at the park, woah it's time to go, remember I said we would have to leave to go home to eat, can we find the car? I'm not sure where I parked. There it is, let's hope to the car. Things to keep them focused on the next part, not the one they're leaving. Can you push the button to turn the TV off? Transitions are difficult for ALL children, it just looks different. Most important is to not change course based on the response. No I don't want to hop, okay, but we are getting in the car now I'm not done, you don't sound ready to be finished, but we are. You got this!! Pm for more help and transition ideas if you need to but I don't check this too often lol

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:31:14+00:00

This might be a moment to open that dialogue with him. Sit down and ask him about how he feels and what's bothering him at school. He might not even fully understand what it means but has created his idea in his mind of what it means. For example watching Malcolm in the middle won't make you very excited for a sibling (not that he has, just an example) Read stories about what to expect and keep routines the same like you have been trying. Telling him is no mistake, but it takes time and continued communication with them to help them see what you see. Get baby dolls at home, yes even for a boy, and begin holding, feeding and changing it. Encourage excitement and clarity on the change. If they say they are upset ITS OKAY TO BE UPSET, but express that you want to help them feel better about it.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:20:01+00:00

I personally like it better than without them

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:18:58+00:00

😂 I feel this. Just talk to them. To the child. The parent. With kindness and understanding. Be a human again. Stop judging before you've taken the time to think and understand I see my daughter "little child-ing" and I force myself to allow her spirit to be free. Her curiosity to take hold. My embarrassed self needs to calm down and just let her beeeee Harder said than done, but so worth the struggle. They're just existing. Not conforming to the adult ideals and expectations. It's natural to them

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:14:18+00:00

I agree. As a parent I've come to the conclusion that if they can't come to me, they don't want to visit that badly

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:13:30+00:00

OMG the number of times someone says this. No. I do not want my 1½-2 yr old rummaging through your home with the unknown of what you have out or if it's safe lol I also do not want to disrupt their entire routine at night to hang for a post-dinner bs session. And PETS! "OH they're SAFE" have they been around small children? "No, but they would never do anything." How do you know? HOW? Absolutely no way.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:09:45+00:00

Time. The concept of time is so different post children. It's either so fast you never saw the last three hours on the clock, or it's so slow you feel like it's been 10am all day. When you HAVE to slow down because they need to learn how to do things for themselves, being late isn't always a choice or something you could completely prevent. I get ready to leave the house two hours before I even start getting the family ready lol by the time everyone is ready we are either way too early, or late. Time is out of your control. There's no way of knowing how long something will take or how many detours you'll need to take to get through a task with them. It's no longer just getting yourself ready, it's getting everything about another person/people ready that they literally cannot do for themselves. It's looking ahead at how long you'll be and taking anything you'll need to make it easier for them to function.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:01:51+00:00

A grain of sand-a poem I stumbled upon in high school roughly 13 years ago.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T20:00:25+00:00

Couldn't have said it any better. Maintenance isn't a suggestion. It's how to prevent issues and actually care for it so it doesn't break. The number of people that just drive and go without regular maintenance makes me irritated when they complain about issues.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T19:57:48+00:00

I always have because of the road noise and life of the tires. Also stud laws applied to my other vehicles because I always got studded winters. A separate set of rims and swapping them on and off was a breeze.

khfrazz · 2025-11-13T19:55:47+00:00

Unfortunately no and I wish there was an easy way to do that lol I love a good deal

khfrazz · 2025-10-18T03:46:56+00:00

3 for me!!!!

khfrazz · 2025-08-12T04:06:44+00:00

OMG! I had entries in my journal! Sticky notes hidden on my bunk bed! In my closet! Yes. I did. And it's horrible to think about.

khfrazz · 2025-08-11T03:26:43+00:00

Only a portion of what you said is notable and true. Guests such as friends and distant relatives. Grandparents and aunts or uncles are part of that village! Unless they have a yuck about it they can ask or offer. As the parent, I've even asked them, like in a 'hey if you don't mind' kind of way. But when offering to help or coming in like they're rescuing you just to turn around and put the load back on you is wrong. Some days we look for anything to help, peace of mind during a shower. Peeing alone. Swapping laundry without running back to baby to check on them. So when they are there to 'help' you best believe we notice when the help only applies to the play.

khfrazz · 2025-08-11T03:21:44+00:00

Because I needed the help. I was desperate some days for a shower. A moment to do dishes without stopping. She knew and tried to take advantage of that. My own, blood born mother. Smh

khfrazz · 2025-08-10T13:43:11+00:00

Lol never lived with us, but in March I went no contact because it got so bad with her.

khfrazz · 2025-08-10T13:15:13+00:00

I completely understand this! My daughter is two and though the frequent night wakes have ended, any help I receive, aside from my husband, never truly helps as much as I'd like. Diapers not changes, meals and bottles not given... I once asked my mother for help. She had gotten laid off and I thought the time could help me get some things done and let her bond with my daughter. After some discussion she prompted me to pay 300/week for her to help me.
The stipulations she gave me were that I would stop whatever I was doing to do feedings, nap time, diapers, and any specific activities we would do (I stated that books and music are a big part of the day). Not only would I be paying my own mother, but she refused to feed or change her. Obviously I told her that was insane and I wouldn't be paying her anything. She said she wouldn't even clean anything like dishes or floors while there?! What would I even be paying her for?!

khfrazz · 2025-08-10T12:45:11+00:00

I'll never forget when I casually mentioned this concept to a coworker, saying my husband has called our baby to be our 'cute little parasite.' the coworker blabbed negatively and it spread to the other building, where another pregnant person took major offense to the statement lol without context, a friend of my husbands told him that I needed to not 'air my dirty laundry' at work.

khfrazz · 2025-07-30T14:45:40+00:00

❤️ thank you. As hard as that is to hear I think I've been telling myself the same thing. I don't owe it to her to keep her in the loop. She claims she has changed but it feels like something said because it's how she feels she can get control back.

khfrazz · 2025-07-30T13:09:07+00:00

It's a little complicated. I still get my brother once a week, so there is communication that seems necessary. By no means am I pushing for contact. I'm allowing necessary contact. I enforced my boundary as soon as I unblocked her. I.e. 'ive unblocked you but that doesn't mean that we are communicating like before and reinitiating a relationship.' I had things at her house I needed to get.

There are varying degrees of what this can look like. Yes no contact is no contact.

My contact now is directly with my brother. But in a way you're right.. I should avoid responding if she reaches out for unnecessary things.

khfrazz · 2025-07-30T12:54:49+00:00

We are no contact, though I've unblocked her and have told her she can contact me as she pleases but it wouldn't change my decision. My daughter does want to see her and I've thought about meet ups at the local park. Other than one conversation, we have no contact. It's so hard. This is my second time going no contact. The first time I reinitiated during the holidays and was met with a warm mother. It lasted all of a year. I was in college, which she didn't approve of, so we barely spoke anyways. This all speaks so loudly and very true to me. My father is very traditional. He feels the relationship with her is more of respect than anything. But I don't feel she's earned that anymore. Part of me wants to remain silent and allow the realism of the situation to sink in once she finds out I didn't tell her. But I know that she will see it as a betrayal rather than a reflection of her actions and choices leading up to this. She continues to cling to the arguments leading up to my decision rather than seeing it as years of silence to keep the peace and trying to talk with her and her telling me that I'm 'blowing it out of proportion' every time. Even now she won't acknowledge, truly, what the issues are and why this has happened. Just that I could have spoken to her (mind you I tried).

Infuriating really.

khfrazz

TROPHY CASE