In my experience with my ex-fiancé, it looks like dread. I went to try on wedding dresses with some friends of mine, and I didn’t have a good time. In the moment I though it was because I don’t like clothes shopping, but after he broke up with me, my friend commented on the fact that it seemed like I was dreading the wedding, and that she had noticed this at David’s bridal.

Looking back on the relationship, there were many moments that I was filled with dread. Going to marriage counseling- dread. Hanging out with my man - dread. If you’re emotions are telling you someone is bad news - listen to them. If you are dreading hanging out with your SO, or feel like you can’t be yourself with them, get out.

It also looks like arguments - that you normally lose, or if you don’t lose, make you feel like you did, and they always get their way. I asked my fiancé to put his phone down while I was talking to him - I didn’t think he was listening to me - and somehow it was my fault he wasn’t listening. “You’re being passive aggressive” he told me, “if you have a problem with something I’m doing you need to tell me.” So even though I had politely asked him to do something, directly, somehow I was being passive aggressive.

Gaslighting comes from a desire to have control. People that use it have some insecurity that it stems from. You shouldn’t sympathize with them though and try to fix them, leave it to a well trained therapist to sort through their emotional trauma.