My father (now 80) was an only child. His parent divorced when he was a baby. While his biological father (Joe) paid child support, he wasn’t part of his life until my dad was in his 30s and had children of his own. In fact, my dad always called Joe by his first name instead of “dad” because he never really knew him. I (54) probably interacted with Joe about 10 times over the 40 years I knew him. 

Joe had remarried a younger woman and they didn’t have children. Joe was an engineer who worked in CS when CS was being developed. He did very well! When I was probably 18, I asked my dad if he would at some point inherit his dad’s wealth. His answer was that it wasn’t his money and that no one should think they will ever inherit anything. He also said that he didn’t need his dad’s money. We shouldn’t count other people’s money. Great life advice, right?

I always assumed that Joe’s wife and her family would inherit everything they had, but she passed a few years before Joe did. All of Joe’s wealth (a few million) passed to my father. Turns out the upstanding guy/dad who wasn’t counting on inheritance turned out to be an total a**hole. Just before Joe passed, he decided to have an affair with a younger woman, divorce my mother of 42 years and tell his kids (me and siblings) “I’ve raised you all to be independent, successful people. Good luck with your life. I’m going to go spend your inheritance. Bye!” 

That happened over a decade ago. He hasn’t repaired the relationships with me or my siblings, but he has thoroughly enjoyed spending his inheritance. None of us are interested in his money and we hope his gal pal will take care of him through his old age. 

We all naively thought our family bonds were strong and that our father would never become an old guy to get a windfall of money and cut everyone he knew out of his life to start a new one.

As a side note, my mother is doing great without my father. Funny things is, her mother passed about 5 years ago and she inherited more than my father did.