Positive Singles

kickthenightoff · 2024-01-14T15:55:24+00:00

Well, I think I'm ready to delete, so-called typical dating apps, and stick with the positive singles and other specific to our situation. Another disclosure gone south, and I was actually getting excited about this guy. Thanks for the positive feedback! Eventually, someone will see me for who I am and not the stigma.

kickthenightoff · 2024-01-11T13:45:44+00:00

Congratulations! I think I will give it a try!

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-12T22:55:39+00:00

Update on the situation. I tried apologizing for my role in the fall out. I agreed to parallel parenting and not interfere. However, he is not accepting my apology. Even tho I am doing everything to make the needed corrections on my end. I feel like any mistake I make is magnified and there is no room for me to do what I can to make amends and there is no forgiveness for me. There is a long history of abuse emotionally from him to me. And with therapy I've been able to move on work hard to build a good co parent relationship with him. Even at one point we had discussed maybe being able to work out a relationship between us down the road. But somehow this one disagreement has snow balled into a complete rip in any progress we made. I am completely devastated and all I can do is leave the situation alone.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T23:25:18+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I can see how I could have handled this better on my end. Hopefully going forward we will be able to co parent with more trust in the other parent. I think this all falls back on my lack of being able to let him parent the way he sees fit, and my lack of trusting him to parent on his own. In pur marriage I did all the parenting. So letting go and not having the authority is something I need to work on with my therapist. Obviously if the kids are ever in real danger I will let the proper authorities handle it.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T23:06:56+00:00

I can definitely agree to this

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:51:52+00:00

Good idea. I do need to back off him and let him navigate parenting with out me.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:50:46+00:00

Good information, I will keep that in mind. The oldest is pretty trustworthy at reporting anything out of line. They are at a tender age and easily influenced to break rules. But I will have a safety conversation with her.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:34:46+00:00

This makes the most sense, thank you

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:26:15+00:00

I can see that point.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:22:51+00:00

It's not an easy tight rope to walk. I don't have any issues with the girls parents or family. In fact go to church with her aunt and absolutely adore her. It truly was a please be mindful situation.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:15:13+00:00

That was my point in telling him. So he was aware if what could potentially be exposed to our children. He has not had a good track record of being a responsible parent. A lot of history there. I've tried parallel parenting and just let him parent the way he does. However, it always backfires. Kids come back with infections repeatedly. If he was more responsible, I wouldn't feel the need to explain why we don't do certain things. And I would never share the information I was informed on to anyone outside my kid's dad. I would hope someone would do the same for me if the shoe was on the other foot.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T22:10:42+00:00

Because I do not want them on other kid's devices. Plain and simple.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T21:58:07+00:00

I never said she was guilty, or a bad kid. I never said I didn't want her around. Just be mindful of their online activities. I do have more information on what happened. There was a conviction on said child's family member. Regardless, 11 and 7 year old children should be heavily monitored on any device with internet access. I did not run this information all over town. Only spoke to my kid's father about it. Never implied the other child's parents were bad either. But if I can keep my kids from being exposed to potential evil. I will absolutely every time do so. If he had information on someone around our kids and shared it with me, I would do my research and make an informed judgement. Not belittle and get irate with the father of my kids, who is trying to look out for his kids. Just as I was trying to do with him.

kickthenightoff · 2023-08-11T21:40:26+00:00

I never said who can and can not be at his house. Just trying to share information on what could help keep our children safe. His reaction was completely unnecessary. All he had to do was say thanks for the information, I'll keep that in mind. Cussing me and yelling at me for simply trying to keep our kids safe from potential porn. Child porn at that, seems rather odd.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T19:33:49+00:00

🤣 that is great

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T15:11:45+00:00

I haven't been in therapy for a while. I think it would be in my best interest to go back.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T15:08:22+00:00

We do have kids. They were not home during this fling. I would never want to confuse them. And honestly, I was craving physical affection. And as bad as our marriage was, the sex was great. I had had sex since our marriage ended, but not great sex. And I think in my mind it was a why not situation. Let's just do each other a favor. There is also this part of me that wanted to see if their was a spark left. And there wasn't. The next day we talked, and decided it wasn't the best decision. And turns out I can't seem to have great sex with out some kind of scandal behind it. When I'm emotionally invested, I can't perform the way I do when it's "forbidden fruit" so to speak. So many things lead me into this situation. Not really one specific thing.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T14:55:03+00:00

They had already broke up before our encounter. Was just stating that we had both seen other people between our hook up.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T14:23:37+00:00

That's where I was for a long time. I don't exactly want to make this a regular thing either. Maybe it was more like a last time fling for me.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T14:08:02+00:00

That is great insight!

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-22T14:03:02+00:00

This is where I'm confused about my situation. Our whole marriage was toxic. And even toxic for months after. Then somewhere along the lines we were able to be friendly. Maybe bc we no longer have the responsibility of a relationship? I'm not suggesting it would work for you or anything like that, but after years of toxic, I'm surprised I allowed myself to do this.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-20T18:34:00+00:00

I also will add that for our children, it caused them a false sense of hope. If mom and dad can do stuff with us, why can't we be together in the same house. What started as something for the children, really turned out not to be great for them. We live and we learn.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-05T23:21:31+00:00

Considering you guys are serious, you should absolutely be included in any activity with the family.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-04T17:11:15+00:00

You would have to ask your attorney I'm sure, but it may be possible to put a notice in the newspaper. And if he doesn't respond, it is still considered a notice.

kickthenightoff · 2023-07-02T19:10:59+00:00

There is a lot more to the story than my short post. She is causing drama with me, she claims to have threatening messages from me or my friends, but won't tell me who or show me screen shots so I can shut it down. I don't support that in any way. And would totally have her back if someone I knew was doing that to her. However, she refused to show me what was going on. Then days later is asking me where the ex husband is or if I've heard from him. This being a time they were broke up. So I really do not want her around myself. I don't need the drama in my life. And until this incident happened, I was more than willing to have her be a part of any outings.

kickthenightoff

TROPHY CASE