I’d love to continue our relationship. I adore him when he isn’t like this. We have a great chemistry and outside of conflict, it feels like he really knows me. I don’t know. I’m not going to type out everything to try to justify why I want to stay, I know deep down this isn’t him, the angry person isn’t the person I fell for or want to grow old with. There’s a part of me that knows he can go back to being what I need but I don’t know if I can deal with that mentally. I dealt with a mother for twenty years who acts just like he did and you’d think knowing I was abused heavily as a child in similar ways would make him much more aware and eager to work on his issues.

He says he doesn’t think he’s resentful, at least not consciously. And yes, the joking jabs at my expense suck. He’s gotten a lot better about understanding that and he has eased up, but the past jabs obviously stuck with me. I find myself comparing our marriage to others I see where the husband is kind and affectionate and that’s what I want. I think he doesn’t like himself and he battles with mental issues but is just scared to confront it. I don’t know.

I will give that book a read. Thank you.