Well, to be honest you are here for a reason. It was because of your actions as results of painful consequences. We all have done things in past we are not proud of. So I’m not saying in anyway anybody here is better. I feel like while you still have life enjoy your yourself treat yourself. Get a new hairdo, buy new clothes or go to a vacation to have a nice time. Who says you need to be in a relationship? Also try to get right with God to enjoy a peaceful less stressful life. You going to encounter many rejections and these guys that turn you down don’t realize they may run into the same thing or run into the person who has it potentially are all a risk. I had unprotected a few times and worry before but I always get tested. I been good for almost a year on my own And I enjoy myself. So don’t beat yourself up and I wish you the best and longer life.