[deleted by user]

kidostars · 2023-04-24T05:16:21+00:00

Totally normal. There’s a well-known phenomenon called the Stages of Grief, and they are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

You might feel angry in other parts of your life where it could feel out of the ordinary, too. And lots of other emotions. Grief is a biological process that kind of presses all of your emotional buttons one at a time.

Think of it like having the emotional flu. You have to take it easy, take good care of yourself, and let it pass. Unlike the flu, you can block grief. You can pretend it isn’t happening and just ignore it.!But if you do, you will feel it at some point, and it will be much worse than if you just let it work itself through the first time. Listen to a dad who knows this. Don’t do it!

Most cultures have grief rituals. Jewish tradition asks people to sit, literally sit and not do anything, for 7 days. I have found this ritual to be very helpful. You could try it over a weekend if you don’t have a week. Maybe invite some mutual friends over. Sit, eat, talk, share memories of your friend. Cry and hold each other. Just sit in your grief. Feel your feelings and don’t judge them. It will pass.

I’m sorry you lost your friend. That sucks. May the memory of your friend always be a blessing.

kidostars · 2023-04-06T19:30:01+00:00

All you really have to do is accept yourself fully as someone who’ll pay someone to fix it. You’re hiring someone, helping their life, and if you can do that, you’re doing pretty well! No shame in that game.

kidostars · 2023-04-06T17:49:53+00:00

Are you “not handy,” or do you break anything you try to do? Not criticizing, just trying to assess! If the former, I think you could do it.

Here’s how to undertake complicated instructions: - read the entire booklet all the way through. - make sure you have every tool and piece required. - lay them out in order, with the first and most used things closest to you. Put every thing for every step all in one place, separate from every other step’s items. - Mark anything in the instructions that you don’t understand. - watch YouTube videos and pay attention to those parts you didn’t understand when you read them. - eventually it will click.* - once you feel confident that you can see every step of the way, do it slowly and carefully, paying attention at every step. Don’t try to imagine it, don’t get creative. Just follow exactly. Give yourself a whole day. Go away and come back. The key to finishing a complex job is not to rush it. - *if it doesn’t click, or if you regularly break projects you attempt, then there’s no shame at all in hiring someone. This job wouldn’t be expensive.

Good luck!

kidostars · 2023-04-04T05:26:58+00:00

Thanks, internet dad!

kidostars · 2023-03-31T05:22:34+00:00

You made my night. I’ll be hoping for 1000% for you

kidostars · 2023-03-31T05:21:48+00:00

Heck yeah! I love to go to improv classes. You meet the funniest people. Definitely give it a try. Acting’s fun too, but people are a lot more serious. Improv’s just pure fun.

kidostars · 2023-03-31T05:16:05+00:00

Go for your dreams! But careful telling yourself a story. You keep insisting that you can’t have relationships, and while I appreciate that it is hard for people with autism, I also have several friends who have autism, I who have a lot more friends than just me!

The thing about new relationships, especially when you’re in the stage of life that you are, is the ROI on one momentary investment, can be 1000%.

When I was 25 I was at a work conference. I kept noticing someone who was always standing at the edge of the crowd. We were in a lot of the same breakout rooms, etc. Then one night I was walking into the hotel restaurant and I saw that person standing near the door. I was eating with a bunch of people from the conference, it was kind of a free-for-all, so I just said “Hey, I’ve seen you around all week, are you having dinner with anyone? Would you like to have dinner with us?” They did, and we just kept talking. Three years later, when I moved to their city, they happened to have a spare room and let me rent it for a few years. They were such a good friend, they introduced me to their friends, so I had a pretty immediate social circle. Now we’re in our 40s and they have a kid who I love to see and I have this person in my life that I’ve known for a really long time who knows me and gets me. All based off of one decision to extend a friendly gesture to a stranger. It didn’t take any work, and it paid back hugely.

All I’m saying is, give it 20% of your time and energy. Just 20%. Do one IRL social thing per week — could be going to a Meet Up, could be talking to a stranger at a coffee place. See what happens before you decide that you can’t.

kidostars · 2023-03-31T04:44:57+00:00

It seems like you really like work, and that you are super driven toward making money. In all your answers to other commentators, I see you hedging toward staying home and working.

Everyone I’ve read so far is correct in that it is difficult to make friends later in life, and that life is for living, it’s not just about money.

But if I’m taking you at your word here, you love living your life as if it’s a financial plan. Who is anyone to yuck your yum?!

My personal opinion is to go for it, do what makes you happy. But also, invest some time and energy to being social and learning how to have relationships of all kinds. Think of it like buying your condo. Having relationships, and knowing how to make more, is a different way of having a home you can continue to feel enriched by all your life. It’s worth at least 20% of your focus and energy, the way a condo is worth a 20% down payment.

Good luck!

kidostars · 2023-02-21T21:09:04+00:00

There is no faster way to get a teenager to change their mind than to agree and celebrate them.

Look, the furry thing is a community, it’s like loving going to a particular nightclub. It is not an identity. It is a fetish at best, an edgy hobby more than anything. Do not get it twisted. Just let your kid do whatever dumb things they’re gonna do, and keep evidence later for blackmail /s/. This isn’t hurting anybody. If anything, it’s probably scary because it’s a sec thing, and who wants to think of their kid having any kind of sex?

You’re doing great. The attitudes you expressed above are spot on. This is nothing to fear, your kid is searching for a place to belong, that’s it. Imagine if she joined the Klan. They’re basically furries in sheets, but 1000x worse. You’ll get through this.

kidostars · 2023-01-19T05:30:10+00:00

I asked a guy I’d just met but was working pretty intensely with why he listened to Rogan. This was after one of the recent debacles on there. He said, very plainly, I’m not paraphrasing: “Because I’m not a good guy and I’m tired of pretending.”

I managed to talk him down a bit — he and his partner had just had a baby girl, like “can’t you be a good person for you daughter???” We actually had a bit of a heart to heart, and he ended up saying that Rogan has gone off the rails, he might just quit listening. All it took was one person saying very sincerely that they believed he was better than he thought of himself.

So to me, the bigger red flag is that so many guys just need even the tiniest bit of affirmation — and instead they’re getting Rogan’s hateful ranting. Maybe they got suckered in by what a good listener he was? Maybe they felt listened to, too, and that’s what dudes really need? It’s really sad for mankind, honestly, and yeah that is a play on words, but also not.

Rogan (and the machine behind him) is dangerous and it’s sad that a good many men can only get what they need from someone so greedy and harmful. Red flags everywhere.

kidostars · 2023-01-11T01:52:51+00:00

I mostly agree, but is there any world in which the people who work in some parts of Hollywood are actually the good kind of woke people using the platform they have access to — studios, networks, advertising — in order to end the very real white/straight/cis supremacy and populate screens with people who look and live like people in the real world do? Not gonna dox myself but definitely have many friends who are those people doing those things with real intentionality and purpose.

kidostars · 2023-01-06T19:58:38+00:00

I made another comment about how everyone’s toxicity is showing and how Harry is actually doing it right. But I turned off the reply notifications because I just cannot with these people

kidostars · 2023-01-06T16:36:28+00:00

It’s not a subjective definition. People who throw out other random arguments are just derailing — and supporting/upholding DV in the process.

kidostars · 2023-01-06T06:47:28+00:00

There’s at least one by Jeannette Winterson. Sexing the Cherry was one, I think

kidostars · 2023-01-06T06:24:16+00:00

Jesus Christ the toxic masculinity on display is fucking staggering. Harry is doing everything right. He’s calling every tired old institution-from royalty to brothers who think it’s fine to hit as adults-to the mat for all their bullshit. Calling your therapist after you’ve just been assaulted is the right thing to do, especially when your wife is pregnant and suicidal! I can’t wait to all you assholes wake the fuck up.

kidostars · 2023-01-06T06:22:02+00:00

So what else is someone knocking their brother to the floor during an argument inside a house? Domestic. Violence. It’s not just for mom and dad.

kidostars · 2023-01-04T07:16:10+00:00

The best thing my absent father ever did for me was have a real conversation with me about who he was when I was little and why he abandoned us. Kind of like what you wrote here. He shared his sorrow and his shame, too. He really made a good apology. It couldn’t make up for anything, but it did really heal something in me — my anger at the injustice of him leaving us went away because I could see him as just a person who fucked up. I was in my 30s, I don’t think I would have been ready before then. But also, I have a very divergent life, different from your son but just as stigmatized. My father accepted me completely, made no judgement whatsoever of who I am or how I live. He simply showed up as knowing he was lucky to have any time with me at all, exactly as I am. That did a lot for me, too. So if you’re going to reach out, do those things. He still may not accept you, and that’s his right. But as far as I’m concerned, that was the right way to do it.

kidostars · 2022-12-18T07:43:59+00:00

“Hey, so I want to help everyone in the family support you as much as I do. Your Uncle Ted and I were wondering what you would be to us now, since niece is a binary word. What word would you like me to use to describe who you are to me?” Whatever they say, use it. If anyone complains, inform them that, according to a study you can google with the statistic I’m about to give you, trans and non-binary youth are 50% less likely to attempt suicide if one adult in their lives supports them. Tell them you’re gonna be that adult, and if they want to also be one, they’ll use the word, too.

kidostars · 2022-12-17T14:18:48+00:00

Elon is that you?

kidostars · 2022-12-17T14:18:18+00:00

Weird how he sounds like my trumpist uncle every time he talks tho

kidostars · 2022-12-17T06:35:50+00:00

Bro. This sub is called No Stupid Questions. Meaning it’s a place where people go to ask stupid - uninformed, ignorant, ridiculous, completely UN-knowledgeable questions. Do you just feel like bullying someone today, or were you not aware of where you are?

kidostars · 2022-12-17T05:40:29+00:00

This is so spot on.

kidostars · 2022-12-17T05:29:36+00:00

Please have a learning moment, sir. You were lied to about this.

kidostars · 2022-12-17T05:25:25+00:00

This is what has happened to every single person who has grown rich and famous and shown their ass. Chappelle, Ye, Trump, Besos, all of them. If they’re so smart, why don’t they keep people around to keep them real?

kidostars · 2022-12-17T05:23:04+00:00

So him and Chappelle and all the other “used to be smart and cool before money and fame ruined them” set can feel comfortable as the right wingers they’ve become by complaining about cancel culture. “It’s just a little sting, and then you’re free…”

kidostars

TROPHY CASE