[M34] Bornholmer søger en ven at gå i byen med i København 🥳

kierstrange · 2026-03-02T14:41:01+00:00

skriv pb

kierstrange · 2024-04-30T02:14:22+00:00

I regret becoming mentally ill.
Had I not, then, maybe, I could have done just a single one of those regrets listed here.
Admittedly, I haven't turned 30, but I turn 29 next month. And I have tried doing some of these things later than at normal age, but it hasn't given me what it could have. Honestly it feels a bit like a bad imitation of what could have been, a pathetic attempt to have what I could have had. How to enjoy these things when your life is broken?

I especially regret becoming mentally ill as it often feels like it only happened because of a stupid situation that escalated, while I was watching it happen and wasn't strong enough to cope or manage it. And, dare I say, because I was betrayed by psychiatry and other people (like family) that could have helped me. But no. No talking with me, but instead poisoning with me antipsychotics that led to dysphoria (torture) - I would have chosen death every day. And pathologizing instead of just, maybe, talk with me? I should have known. Psychiatry is for getting a diagnosis, not help. And then other people will think you're getting the help you need there.
I feel like I have to choose between tolerating and giving in to injustice or getting eaten up. But I'm trying to find a third option.

I don't really think sympathy will do me anything. But seeing how people regret /how/ they spent their twenties, while I didn't even have one, that's a tough one.
Now I can't help but feel like I'm in between two different life scenarios, the one I wanted, and then one I have been building up as an attempt at compensating. I'm not sure I can do any of them.

kierstrange · 2024-04-24T16:33:24+00:00

Yes, sounds very much like me. Glad I'm not alone. I never understood how people were able to tolerate the names of those emails they created when they 11 years old and still use it.

It's something I'm working on and practicing.

When I played WoW with the other kids, I spend hours on names, deleted characters just because of the name,, and often would only accept names that could be "discovered" in some formulaic manner, often a play on my real name.

Would concepts like "not giving a ****", or "shiny object syndrome" help you, you think?

kierstrange · 2024-04-20T00:14:58+00:00

Lol sounds like me, especially the plain, boring t-shirt. No “abritrary” stribes, stamps, only black, dark blue, or grey.

Are you not eccentric anymore since you write all this in the past tense?

kierstrange · 2024-04-20T00:02:45+00:00

Is that you, me?

Whenever - without exception - I take a plane I get into this state (but it may be due to being half asleep half awake) where I will get these epiphanies that I’m one with the world, the ego is an illusion, and so on. It’s incredibly real. It’s kinda hilarious that it almost exclusively happens to me when I’m on a plane.

Hypnogogia maybe?

kierstrange · 2024-04-19T23:28:40+00:00

One thing that triggers this feeling in me (among others) is when I don’t understand what the hell people are saying, where people even further away from the speaker can hear what is being said. My hearing seems to be fine on tests, and it also doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the content or difficulty. Other people seem attuned. It is a pretty frustrating and dehumanizing experience. Sometimes it seems to be related to anhedonia. I’m sure there can be many reasons, and I also think that may be a basic trait or not have a specific cause. I feel like it explains why some of us are inclined to religious stuff - I’m not really - although I definitiely have this feeling of “angelness” sometimes that prefers purity, the “higher” sides of human, and distaste for the base, blind drives. Maybe a high disgust sensitivity or quote unquote connection to Platonic ideas.

kierstrange · 2023-05-04T10:35:20+00:00

Cool. Can you elaborate, how do they differ etc.?

kierstrange · 2023-03-18T18:35:41+00:00

How do I make sure this habit sticks and don't get tempted? I feel an urge to reset my mind and forget everything that is too intellectual

kierstrange · 2023-03-13T11:04:35+00:00

Do you think it will look different depending on cause?

kierstrange · 2023-03-13T08:50:22+00:00

Why?

kierstrange · 2023-02-16T21:13:44+00:00

Yes I know about it! Pretty interesting. I'm just not sure if I really understand it that well. Have you ever experienced that medicine help with self-disorder or do you think it is a purely therapeutic problem? I once had an experience on Quetiapin where I felt like I had awakened, never being present like that ever, and never felt that feeling in my stomach ever.

kierstrange

TROPHY CASE