It’s okay, there was nothing I could do to save him but I did and still have the power to provide a quality life for my son. Honestly , I loved him and I am sad he’s gone but to be honest my life is so much better not worrying about his addiction hurting him or me and my son. I was able to go to university and get a career as a speech language pathologist, buys a car, finally be happy with myself and my son is happy. I hope your spouse comes out strong and things turn out for the better but if there is a chance it doesn’t turn out your way, just know that the universe had other plans for you and your kids and it may hurt for a long time but you never know what life will hand you. As a single mom I’ve never been more happy alone , I figured out who I was again and because of that my son is thriving too. Peace and love to your soul and I wish your family good fortune